Wednesday, July 05, 2006

No pictures. I left my camera on the desk and so there are no pictures of me cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, and labeling the shelves I moved from the bathroom to the entryway. There are no pictures of Geoff coming home unexpectedly. No pictures of us having a bonfire-weenie roast, and sampling peanut butter cookies. No pictures of the contraband items we lit on fire and observed with exclamations of delight and awe... just kidding... or am I? No pictures of the kids sleeping in the yard, or all of us playing charades until after 11:00. No pictures of Alex and Geoff acting out "Never-ending Story." No picture of me guessing "Superman" before Geoff could even hold out his arms in mock flight. You should have been here.

Well, that was yesterday. Now, about today... It's somewhat cooler. I realize some of you LOVE this weather; the heat, the sun glaring etc. Some of you have pools, air conditioning, ceiling fans, insulated homes, and a lack of inhibition about wearing very little. We have heat, and no relief. It’s blaawwwchhfwwwughy! (Real word. Honest.)

On the bright side, I heard about a study that shows people living without air conditioning are losing more weight by sweating through their summers. Oh, boy! Let me just calculate: 1 apple martini - 2 quarts of sweat + 2 turkey hotdogs with mustard - X calories burnt from bitchin' and moaning = ....

… Hold on a sec… let’s see, carry the one and … how many pounds are in a pint?

And Geoff heard about this other study that concludes renters are better off than homeowners. We renters are healthier, happier and have more sex than people with a mortgage. I don’t have to site the study; it’s gospel.

I guess I should just resign myself to my skinny, sweaty, renty, happy, healthy life.

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