Friday, January 26, 2007


I've noticed that if I relax and just begin to enjoy the moment, an alarm sounds and my cells and mind jolt. The urgency of knowing that I am on call 24/7 keeps me hopping so constantly that my response to relaxing has become panic. I need to be somewhere, doing something, caring for someone. My showers are a wet race, meant only to remove the day's funk. I cannot soak in the steam, absorb the fragrant suds. My meals are taken standing or walking out the door. We do make time to share dinner, occasionally, but it still manages to be a hectic affair.

I know I am not the only one with these issues. I'm merely observing my personal experiences. I like my job, but even a good thing can get overwhelming, like too much cake. The other day I thought my mind would implode if anyone asked me one more question. It was after nine o'clock and Geoff had just got home. Max needed to show me something. Alex was explaining where I failed to understand the alegbra homework. Geoff was asking about mail he was expecting, (or was it something about a housing market article?) Maria wanted to dance with everyone. She was pulling William, Geoff and me off our seats to dance to "Mr. Sun," again. Everyone's needs were so urgent...

Hey, you know what I need? A vacation. Not a trip, which is "chaos on the road" or "laundry in another town." I need services, fresh towels, menus. I need an entertaining, engaging children's program, where healthy snacks are served. I need a bromine pool, at least one massage and a bed big enough to handle two adults and any/all four children with nightmares or bedtime books that need reading. Let's include scenic hikes, snorkeling, redwoods, unique boutiques, world class museums, live music and entertainment. Let's not get bogged down by details... hey, I think I am ready to make an altar. Ahh! What time is it? I gotta go.

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