Monday, September 07, 2009

It's Monday and We Are Not Late!

Sometimes gratitude can strike in a really basic kind of way. Like when it's a school day and I am sleeping and then I wake up and for just the briefest painful second I think: Gah!! We're late and the universe is conspiring against my happiness and comfort! And then the suffering subsides, because it's not a school day, and we are not late. Even sweeter... the air temperature is less than 80 degrees and there is a nice breeze.

I wasn't sure what I was going to post about this morning. I haven't been taking very good photographs lately and the ups and downs of California real estate have still been the dominant and mysterious theme in our lives, so weak material there... Or is it? Okay. Okay. So, in the latest installment of In and Out Blue House, on Friday I got fed-up with the particulars of what was being asked of us and feeling abused, and it made me so tense and cranky that I snapped at Max. Stop. I literally stopped my car and said, "Enough already. This house business has me so worked up and turned around that I cannot even function, to the point where I am misdirecting my anxiety at my very awesome son." So I called the appropriate parties and told them I was done, that I refused to go forward under the current conditions, and that nothing would make me cave, weaken or turn around on my decision to bow out from the negotiating. It meant I was willing to let go, which was hard, but living with the cranky-mean-sad-anxious stuff was worse than releasing.

It took some of the pressure off, but it made for a long weekend too. I think it was a good choice. We had reached a place where we were negotiating for almost the same thing, but it was getting out of hand in the details and expectations, and we could not surrender our rights and dignity any further. Monday morning net result: They agreed. And we agree. As I have done a most excellent job of not documenting all the ups and downs, you cannot know how many times this has fallen apart and been repaired and fallen apart again. They agree and we agree, and if they sign the latest paper work and then we sign it, then I might actually be prepared to say, "It is done."

Some people know more details than have appeared in Chickenblog, and I know they have expressed concern that 'maybe we should walk away, that maybe the Blue House is a house of Blues.' I think everything is going to be fine. Better than fine. The hardest part about this process has been Geoff's diligence and the best part of this house buying process has been Geoff's diligence. We liked the house enough to make an offer, but we had to be objective enough to protect our assets. Then we had to pick the house all apart and find out every last flaw, every loose board and leaky pipe, so that we almost did not like the house after all. Then we had to determine what we could do to make the house good... what could we fix, how would we fix it? We called in more experts, got more opinions. We got realistic... I think it's like falling in love... in the beginning it's all romantic and "yes-yes-yes!" and then you start to see the bigger picture and it can be scary and you might want to back out and there are misunderstandings and first fights, but a point of maturity and acceptance is reached, when you know the good, the very good, the bad, the ugly and it's okay, because you know what is reasonable and you appreciate the whole package.

Do I make any sense at all? Basically, we know that Blue House inside and out. I have loved it and cursed at it. I know what's right about it, and I know what's wrong with it, and I still want to live there. And as I have always reminded myself, being in our own home will not be the answer to all of life's problems, it will not cure every ailment... I know this. I am just looking forward to having something new to whine about. tee hee

Now. What do you think of Ruth's hibiscus? It's one of dozens of the cheeriest and most healthy flowers ever, growing on the shrub outside her living room door. Her own living room door, the one attached to her own house. The house she is moving in to right now. She found a comfortable and pretty house, near to all, with convenient places to walk to and the world's friendliest neighbor cat.


Hello Kitty.

Tigger is like a purring, furry welcome wagon.


Gratitude:
I am thankful that we have we do not have to go to school today.
I am thankful that we all got to see Ponyo together!
I am thankful that my Mommy is here and that we can laugh and cry and laugh again.
I am thankful that we may have more company soon!
I am thankful for playground fun.


I am thankful for the view of the sky full of thunderheads.
I am thankful for twelve dollar chairs.
I am thankful for my ride, my hardworking and dependable Odyssey.


I am thankful for finding an old friend.
And new friends.
For friendly cats, for fig trees.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

What We Did This Summer

Presently we are immersed in back to school adjustments, and Blue House blues... it's not that the Blue House is undone, it's only that the cosmic farces are determined to see us prove our determination and resolve, which has left me feeling undone. So, recalling the age old tradition of sharing highlights of Summer, I am posting about our day in Avignon, France. Honestly, this trip of a lifetime, our family vacation in Europe, will serve me with good memories for a lifetime. What a blessing.


We drove from Brienz, Switzerland all the way to Avignon, in one day! And that was after spending the entire morning absorbing every last charming detail of Ballenberg, the Swiss Open Air Museum. That was a long drive. We arrived quite late and of course it was still light out and I was anxious to share the first place on this adventure that I actually knew. Remember, my Mom and I were the scouts, sent in advance to figure out all of this abroad business? Well, this was finally my opportunity to show Geoff and our children that I really did learn something!


We checked in to our little hotel, with fragrant lavender growing by the door, then we headed directly to the old part of the town, to the Pope's Palace or Palais des Papes and the bridge.


I'll never know if it was good timing or a missed opportunity... we arrived in Avignon before the official start of their annual Theater Festival. The town was abuzz, even late at night or maybe especially late at night, since it was cooler at night. Everywhere were people trying to get the word out about their theater, their performers, their contribution to art. And I do mean everywhere. No surface was too private or too sacred to be exempt from theater posters and announcements. We saw what I will think of as warm-up acts... some dancers, a juggler, people in costumes or simply colorfully dressed. It was fun. It was exciting to see the preparations and feel the anticipation. It was fun to walk all over the town late at night, to hear the cicadas and recall the cold and windy days and nights when my Mom and I were there.


We ate at the same "touristy" cafe where Delia introduced me to the most delicious salad ever. Locals may insist they know what is best, but sometimes we must be who and what we are and so we were tourists. Travelers from America, looking for something new and French and good and we found it in the brasserie... L'Hôtel de Ville. It was magnifique! Those olives and that bread, the warm night and long-slow service and all the sights strolling by. It was touristifical.


The boys left the table a few times to push their way through the crowd and see what the jugglers or the dancers were up to. And I pinched myself, finding it hard to believe that I had been here before, that we were this fortunate!... all of us here together, just as we had hoped and planned for!


The next day we came back and we walked. We walked and walked. I took the children across the town and to the very same boulangerie where I had my first ever taste of pain chocolate... or chocolate croissant, as we preferred to call the flakey, fresh, delicious bread baked with a modest yet decadent bit of chocolate in it's buttery center. It was worth the distance we covered, it was worth passing up the other bakeries and waiting for the place I knew would be as wonderful as it was last March.


Beautiful.


Ahhh... breakfast and lunch!


And a promise kept... Maria rode once the night before and this was her happy reunion with the carousel, so she could ride in the sea shell.


And for the rest of the morning we walked all around the ancient and walled town and we tried to imagine what it would be like when every corner, every theater and every bench and plaza would be filled with performers and patrons. Probably it would be amazing and certainly crowded. It would be something to witness... maybe next time?


Was it funny? Did their humor please the crowd?


Will we see the movie?


I like to think they sounded merry.


I like to think we would have got good seats for this show.


We had a good Summer.


Very good.