Actually, I have a lot on my mind.
I am enjoying the comments coming in from from yesterday's post. I know, I make these navel gazing posts periodically. What can I say? Honesty, reflection... these things come up, and I cannot suppress the desire to air it all out, to try to make sense of questions that linger around my head. So, thank you. Thank you for your kindness and support, thank you for sharing your experiences, answers, and questions. Thank you for laughing out loud with me.
My Mom reads Chcikenblog. *argghh* She reads Chickenblog too. This is remarkable because she lives deep in the Oregon woods, and depends on a dial up modem for Internet access. She and I joke about the speed and efficiency of dial-up all the time. To read
Like I said, it is remarkable that she has the patience to read Chickenblog, to wait for the images to materialize, for the text to appear. And this is why I understand why she does not leave comments... not officially, not through the usual channels. It's too darn slow and complicated. Delia sends greeting cards, and emails me. She sends care packages. She calls me. She travels to be with us quite often, and when she cannot, she finds some means of staying in touch, lending support, and commenting. I love her for this... for holding my hand, no matter how far apart we are.
She also knows about the things I am not sharing in the blog, and she can detect when I am especially in need of a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on.
Delia called this morning. Thank you Mommy. I needed that.
She talked to me about insurmountable tasks... the kind that leave us numb and immobilized, because of how overwhelming they are. She reminded me that no matter how much there is to do, that on any given day there is a limit to how much can actually be accomplished, and in fact there may be some things we cannot do at all. Then she offered a strategy she has tried, one that has been blessedly successful.
On her advice, I am going to make a two part list. In the first column I am going to write down the things that can reasonably be accomplished today. It should be a mix of duties and chores, with some pleasures thrown in... some things to sustain hope and happiness. In the second column I'll write down those things I cannot manage. Either I do not have the skill, the time, or the spirit to tackle these things so they go to to column two. Column one is for me, and everyday I will take care of business and make progress. Column two is for God. It is the surrender and ask for help list. It is the perhaps another time list.
Oh, the time!
I am off...
Column 1: My eye appointment, pick up Alex, remove Ferris' bandage, call appliance guy.
Column 2: Cure OCD, move the shark cage out of the flood plain, patch the leaky roof, clean my office.