Halloween feels like Holiday Eve. And that makes today the dawn of my favorite time of year. My thoughts and plans, and activities turn homeward, where we gather more frequently. My heart reflects on blessings, new and old. Everything feels more snug, warmer, even slower as the days darken... and yet the anticipation of celebrations, the preparing, and sharing gives everything a heightened pace, a steady buzz.
I am ready!
Well, not really. Rationally, I know that this time of year can kick me in the seat. It gets hectic, and colds come home from school, and school keeps up its steady stream of demands, we get pulled in every direction, and all that time home can be a doozy reminder of my domestic defaults. My stack of "file these NOW" papers fell over and are covering the floor. Pumpkin guts are waiting for me outside on our table. Ferris needs his sutures removed. The shark cage needs raking...
It's all there. All of the regular domestic perils, and ailments, all of the things I have neglected, all of the things I have worked to the bone. But just the same: I am ready! I am ready for family dinners with homework spread across the dining table. I am ready for too many plans, and too little time. I am ready for family traditions, for anticipation, for high expectations. I am ready for family goodness, and absurd ambitions. I am ready for Maternal-Love Deep Storage of Impossible Energy the kind that gets you three places at once, with everything in order and everyone at least mildly satisfied... hey, it can happen.
I am ready to get a handle on this, and I am even ready to admit defeat... those times when the Impossible Energy does not kick in, when I cannot be where I should be, or want to be, or wish to be. I am ready to list all of my hopes and aspirations, and aim high.
Welcome November! I greet you grinning, and knowing full well you are a month full of promise and challenge. Bring it on!
I am excited about Thanksgiving, and the aroma of amazing food cooking in our beautiful kitchen. I am excited about opening our home to friends and family, and sharing laughter. I am excited about where to put a Christmas tree, and finally knowing where our Nativity pieces are. I am excited about making a hundred plans, knowing I'll probably only finish forty-two, and some of them poorly. I am excited about being here, in our home, for one full year, and feeling ever more at home.
I am going to bookmark this page, and bring it out frequently to remind myself that even in the midst of heartache, and roadblocks, that I know about gratitude, that I love this blessed life we are living. I know there are going to be moments, some really long ones too, when I won't remember this feeling, when the challenges will overwhelm me, and I will think I've got it all wrong... then maybe remind me that even in the mess there is something beautiful, something worth hanging on for. And I will need reminding too that messes come and go, and then they come again, so... so what? Relax. Enjoy. Laugh. It's just life.
Just, please remind me. Okay?
Here is my strange bird. A kiwi. Or an owl. Maybe a
November first is the smell of pumpkin and chocolate, and cold floors in the morning. November is thirty days of remembering loved ones, counting blessings, reconnecting, looking forward. Welcome November. I am ready.