Thursday, September 15, 2011

My Brain :: Chickenblog is Really Great!

Is it my brain? Is it the breakfast I ate, or the air I breath?

What makes me think the things I think, and what compels me to share any of it

Why?



I woke up, early, and I was feeling drowsy and content, thinking about friends who are coming to visit in less than three weeks. We've never met, face to face, in person. Janece and I have been blogging friends since 2004. I discovered her blog, No Ordinary Moment when Janece and Paul's daughter, Amira, was born. That was seven years ago. And now... now we are finally going to meet, in real life!

Happy Birthday, Amira!

The amazingnessness of all this was dawning on me, and then I was slapped, hard, across the face by a blinding reality: the house is a frickin' disaster. (I actually sat here for five minutes trying to think of a better word than "disaster," but sometimes you gotta say it like it is.)

#1. It's a shame that a child's birthday and the advent of a momentous visit are being moved to my back burner, so that I can publicly humiliate myself and post about the forty-two ways the Bird House has fallen on hard times.

#2. It's a shame that when I jumped out of bed to begin rectifying the situation, I stopped first at my hovel office, and started reading FB, blogs, emails, the news, and herb roasted pork tenderloin recipes. (So... I am beginning to get the idea that burritos four or five nights a week is not typical fare, and that there are more options out there. You raise the bar, Ree. You raise it real high.)

#3. This is promising to be a particularly random and pointless post, and I am kind of excited about the prospect.

#4. I am not even sure why I started numbering these remarks, but I like the momentum.

#5. We have three vehicles.
The largest-biggest-most ginormous key is for the Mini, the tiny car.
The teeniest key is for the Green Goose, our huge home on wheels.
And the mid-size key goes to the mid-size ride.
I made this startling observation this morning, and it was like a cerebral awakening! I felt like Archimedes in the tub, when he discovered the principle of density. Only I didn't run around, naked, shouting "Eureka!" And my observation has no significance, at all, but it's sort of funny. Sort of.

#6. Thank you, Carol W., for your faith in my potential, and for teaching me the principle of density.

#7. Thank you Sesame Street, for instilling in me a sense of accomplishment when I can find which of these things is not like the other.

#8. Proctor and Gamble sent me a generous and full box of free products, because I visited their faux house at BlogHer '11 The idea is that we can be mutually beneficial. I write about their soaps, and cleansers, and Vicks-Vapor-Rub, and they... they? Uhm. Send me more stuff? Money? Yeah. I am not sure where this is going, but I do LOVE Vicks-Vapor-Rub, and I would love to write about that.

#9. At BlogHer I learned that making frequent mention of a particular theme or key phrase will raise your spot on Google searches for that particular word or theme. It's a device some bloggers use to get recognized.

#10. Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!
Chickenblog is number one!

#11. Just kidding.

#12. My hair needs product, or love, or something. Once upon a time my hair was mostly straight, smoothish. Over the last year it has become increasingly SpaZtic. Almost curly. Fully unruly. I wonder about discussing this with other women, but I worry that certain, distasteful, topics will arise, including: "age, perimenopause, age, menopause, haircuts, aging, buying and using hair products, or getting old." I also harbor a fear that implying any complaint about my hair's condition will be promptly followed by me going bald.

#13. My hair is great. Really.

#14. Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!
Chickenblog is great!



#15. The Bird House is kind of a disaster, but objectively, for me, it's a disaster in a good way.
a. seven people call this place home, find shelter, love, and comfort here
b. seven people eat here... sometimes eight, or twelve, or fifty people eat here!
c. seven people create stuff here, and carve stuff here, and bake stuff here, and build stuff...
d. painting, studying, making, building, constructing, designing, eating, cooking, living... it's a messy thing, and I will continue to recruit help, and tackle projects and piles, laundry, dishes, and spills, but I can't say I would trade what we do and who we are for a neat and tidy Bird House.

#16. I get discouraged, and overwhelmed. I feel inadequate...

#17. Then I find a bookstore with chickens inside, and cats, and the thrill of it makes everything feel a little bit better.

#18. I dreamed that Alec Baldwin was staying here, and he couldn't find his cell phone, which he thought was maybe in the "lobby." (In dreams, our home has a lobby.) He needed me to go downstairs and find his phone, before he could get ready for the day, leave the room. And I was thinking, Gee, he's funnier on television.

Thank you.

I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Sincerely,

My Brain

9 comments:

  1. I love the picture of you, Natalie! Dare I say it? You look quite fashionable!

    And no matter how many times I count the members of your family, I come up with six, not seven. Am I missing something?!
    Sylvia

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Quite fashionable!" This is a first, I am sure. Thank you. It was a deeply happy moment for me!
    Your math is true and correct. We have had a dear friend making an extended stay with us. Suki is definitely one of the family.

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  3. Lemme help some:
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!
    Chickenblog is great!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh! Warren!
    The Brain is so happy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You're hilarious! And that picture of you is beautiful. If it makes you feel any better at all, our little nest is usually a mess too, with only TWO people (and a dog). And we don't even have a cool nickname for it!

    Enjoy your visit.

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  6. i LOVE your brain. it’s ‘special’ like mine! my sister says that i’m ’touched’ which i very much like the thought of. i take it to mean a ‘little left of center’. please feel free to join me there any old time. screw the house....it’ll just get messed up again. and do make whatever ree is making because she’s freaking perfect. seriously, how does she make all that happen. i’d have to set my tea down and get up off the sofa, wouldn’t i? have a lovely weekend, friend!

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  7. You have just brightened my day considerably, my friend! I love your numbered list, because, y'know, I kinda like doing that myself from time to time. And I'm sure Janece will think your home is absolutely perfect in every way, because it contains so much LOVE...that kinda drowns out all the detritus, IMO.

    A very good friend told me once, "I'm not coming to visit your house, I'm coming to visit YOU!"

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  8. Oh, yes, and you look positively radiant in that picture!

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  9. Lovely photo of you, I'm sure your visitors come to see you and not your house. Did you visit my journal today and not leave your name, I checked the IP address and it said California, and you came to mind, if you did....Thank you. x

    ReplyDelete

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