Sunday, August 07, 2011

The Definitive Guide to Crashing BlogHer


Okay. Maybe not "crashing" BlogHer. Maybe more like "guide for showing up at the last minute, and not having a clue." Yes.

I did not "crash" BlogHer. I snuck up on her. It was like an infiltration from a blogger who somehow manages to be both experienced and also confoundingly amateurish and little known. In one seminar, I learned that I have been blogging for longer than almost any other blogger in the room, and if you count that I have been blogging at the same blog continuously for nine years, then I am seriously the old timer.

This is a guide for any blogger who decides to make a first time visit to a BlogHer conference. In fact this could be quite the handy tool for anyone considering a trip to Minneapolis, in September, who would consider going to BlogHer :: Handmade... a handmade, social media, entrepreneur, and food extravaganza. I would go to that. Except for the air trip, and the timing, and the expense, but otherwise I would totally go to that.


#1: Register from home, and as early as possible.
Early registration = savings.
I could have registered last Spring, back when I first learned BlogHer was coming to San Diego, and Heather OMSH shared her humor and wisdom with me. Likely I was too super immersed in my FIRST passion: robots and chickens to conceive of "August" and "Me" and "Opportunity." Besides saving money, I could have saved myself some minor hassle.

Register at home = time saving convenience, and less stress.
I spent wasted precious time debating whether or not overcoming social anxiety, then was taken dragged kicking and whining to the front door of the Convention Center. Registering at a foreign laptop in the lobby of the convention center was slow, slow, stressful, confusing, and slightly like a recurring nightmare I have had where I cannot enter data into the fields, and my pits sting and drip, and I start to stink like fear. It's a bad dream. I lived the bad dream when I tried to register at the conference.

Don't do like I did. Register at home.



#2: Pack light, or alternately: pack it all.
Sorry. This is obtuse, and contradictory.

I should have packed light. I brought my big basket purse, and my big black camera. I knew I was in trouble as soon as they handed me the first bag of swag.

Have you ever been to a conference? They give you stuff. Lots of it. It is merchandise from sponsors, and guides, and ads, and goodies, freebies, sweet things, and fun stuff, and honestly: some junk you will eventually find in a drawer, and wonder why you kept it for four years, that you will then toss. This comes with a wave of guilt and fretting about landfills and our little planet.

Not having a hotel room to visit, and drop off the good stuff I was accumulating, I had more and more and more crap good stuff to haul around. By nightfall I resembled a bag lady, in really cute shoes.

Now, if you are staying in a hotel, have come from out of town, then go for it! Bring your gear, and your outfit changes, collect even more good stuff than I did. You can unload your haul in your room, you can sneak away for a rest, to change your dress (that might possibly stink of fear.) Hotel rooms open a whole new world of possibilities... of course if you are like me, you may have to contend with a wave of guilt and fretting about landfills and our little planet, so plan accordingly.

#3. I am glad I wore comfortable shoes.

I am thrilled that they were also adorable and attractive, and delightfully like ambassadors, introducing me to nice and admiring conference goers who exclaimed things like: ShutUP! with your shoes! and Get out of town! Your shoes! Which as it turns out are really flattering and friendly exclamations in the world of shoe appreciation.

There were a lot of gorgeous shoes, and well-heeled shoes, and there were a lot of women kind of teetering and wincing and eventually changing their shoes, or begging for some space on the bench because their shoes were committing murder on their feet. Shoes were a hot topic, and because I have been known to be rather lax in my personal attire, you may not want to take my suggestions as your only source of fashion counseling.

But. The Kitties have never failed me.



#4. Business cards. Make some. Bring some.

Or calling cards, if you are not preoccupied with selling something. Business cards might sound... well, like "business" and I know not all bloggers are into blogging to make a nickle. But I do wish I had calling cards, a pretty, sturdy, small introduction to pass along. I did not meet a single soul who did not have a card to give me. I met a blogger who has been blogging four months, and she gave me her card, and it is adorable, classy, effective, friendly, memorable... hmmmm... just like her blog, What Will We Do Today?!

I did bring my ayPad, or Tablet, if you will. Yes. I was writing notes on actual paper, with a pen. And eventually I used it to make "business cards" for people asking for one. They sweetly, patiently waited for me put down all the pertinent information, and when I tore it out of the tablet and handed it to them, I said "Hang on to that. It's one of a kind." 'Cause I am funny that way.



#5. Go hungry!

Either I don't get out enough, or the memory of cold, hard Comic-Con pretzels colored my impression of convention food deeply, like a wound on my palate, but I actually loved the food they served at BlogHer. I missed breakfast (see suggestion #1, so you do not miss out!) But lunch at a conference directed at women... well, it was noteworthy, generous, and tasty. There were vegan options, and whole grains, and multiple salad choices. There was also protein of the chicken, and hoofed, variety. And there were desserts. Seriously. And fruit. Beverages. And courteous servers who whisked away messes. That was probably the best part. I bet almost any meal is improved by having it prepared, served, then cleared away by courteous servers.

Sponsors passed out samples, treats both sweet and savory. Seminars had tables laden with sandwiches. The hallways were filled with yogurt bars, snack trays, sustenance, snacks, liquid refreshment. There was a dessert festival of chocolates, ice cream and baked goods. In the evening, on the terrace we were met with trays of pretty foods. Like tiny tomatoes capped with cheese, perched on cut toast. Mojitos. There were cupcakes everywhere. For the record I did not eat cupcakes, but they delighted the little girl in me, as I marveled at the confectionery plethora. I did have two mojitos, for the mint. Mint is healthy.

Account for this feast in your budget. You will be fed! I should have brought my teenage boys, just for the three meals. Between the food and the swag, they easily could recoup the price of registration.




#6. There is opportunity at BlogHer.

I attended a seminar about parenting, blogging and Special Needs. This topic must be covered in a separate post. It is personal, something I rarely mention, or barely allude to, or keep completely to myself. It is a delicate, painful, beautiful, tragic, private place. And thanks to the seminar, and Julia Roberts, I got to cry. I don't know how else to explain it... but what I go through can be very isolating and heartbreaking, and it's just so confounding and untypical, that I have learned to deny myself something. Connection? Affirmation? Sympathy and empathy, and community? Advocating for my children, defending our choices, living with the daily challenges... that is consuming. I had not made the time to look outside our situation, to listen to the stories I knew were out there, to feel sad in public, and laugh with parents who get it. What a blessing.

I could have gone home after that two hours. It was enough to make the entire event worthwhile. If you go to BlogHer you may find a resource or a friend, or information that is personal, helpful, enlightening. It could be technical advise, which I sure could use! It may be a speaker that you can totally relate to and inspires some new direction in your day, or your life. There are as many opportunities at BlogHer as there are people attending. You may be the friend or resource that someone needs, and though we can achieve a lot through our time on the Internet, in our blogs, there is nothing so amazing as real life eye contact, hugs, energy. BlogHer creates a space for bringing the real world together, face to face.



#7. Step out from behind the planter, and meet people.

I shook hands with a lot of new people. And every one of them was nice, and interesting, and interested. I met Gabriel Vicuña, of Warner Bros., in Burbank, California. He was scouting the conference for Warner Bros. Checking it out, to see whether his company should represent. Of course they should! Women and shopping? Consumers... who do they think Santa is, anyway?! I told him he could quote me, then I made him one of my classy, one of a kind business cards.

I told him about our homemade big screen, and our our movie nights. I could seriously see hosting some Warner Bros. premieres at the Bird House Theater! Call us, Gabriel.

I'll be going through the business cards, sorting the swag, and being busy visiting new-to-me blogs all month, because I met so many people! Musicians, Hi Ali Handal! I hope she remembers to visit Guitars in the Classroom. She and Jessica Baron have to meet. Our schools will win, win, win.



#8. Expect to be surprised.

I met OMSH, aka Heather Sanders! I've read her blog for some time. And there she was, the one who first encouraged me to give BlogHer a try. I blushed, gushed, and stammered... but she was as friendly and lovely and outgoing as all of Texas! Meaning friendly in a BIG way!

Sometimes I post my deep thoughts and ~ahem~ wisdom, my gratitude and attitude. Sometimes I post truly pointless things. But when I say "expect to be surprised," or "don't pass up opportunity," I am actually kicking reminding myself. Nudging the shy me. Coaxing the insecure side that is not always so eager to ad-venture forth into the real world.

#9. No regrets, mostly.

I am glad I went. It cost some cash. It took some time. I could not have done it without Geoff lifting me out of his car, and driving away, fast. I could not have done it without Ruth, Maria's Tutu, agreeing to spend an entire day playing with her... something Tutu happily insists should happen more often. I came home recharged, and stimulated, and probably a bit intimidated by how many bloggers proclaimed their success, book deals, and blogging wealth, then appeared in evening wear and cocktail dresses while I was lugging great loot and a dress that was still faintly smelling of fear... but never mind.

I came home to a really full sink, and laundry, and some loose ends that were urgent and stressful... but, then again, how different is that from most days? No one lost blood, or felt neglected, no one had to be bailed out, or lost their way. I may have an under the radar blog, I may lack business cards, an iPad, and corporate sponsorship... but I got in touch with some good stuff, like the fact that I love to write, I love amassing free stuff, I think soap carving is photo-worthy. I learned that the Brawny paper towel guy actually used THREE paper towels for his demo, even though he insisted he was "still using the same amazing-absorbent-bad-@ass towel," which is a reminder that not all that shines is shiny. I learned that my blog is rated G, maybe PG, but nothing like some of the F-Bomb blogs that were cracking me up.

So. No regrets. Life is a mix of good, and THREE towel messes, and finding this out for myself is a good idea.


And this concludes My Definitive Guide to Crashing Enjoying BlogHer.

Saturday, August 06, 2011

This Post is a BookMark in My Life


::Funny face. Maria shopping on Main Street. July 30::

The bookmark is in place to remind me that I should manage my time with greater care, and I ought to have business cards, because apparently all peoples in the whole wide Blogosphere have business cards.

There is so much to share!
Wisconsin
Family time
Minnesota
Family time
Deer, fireflies, giant marshmallows
BlogHer 2011
Gratitude, and facing fears...

As a result of skipping all the big things on the to do list, I am (officially) in deep, deep trouble. But it was worth it. Maybe. Oh, dear.

Happy Birthday Eli!

I just wanted to take a quick moment to say "hello," to share a a funny face, to say thank you.

Another full day ahead. I better take my vitamins, and a shower.

Peace.

Friday, August 05, 2011

BlogHer 2011*

Alternate title I ♥ Social Media

*Update: I went! I survived! I grew (emotionally?) And I wrote a guide for first timers!

Sitting in my pajamas, the house still quiet. I reflect on my destiny, my purpose, and the laundry. What should I do?  Who am I? Do I have clean underwear?

What is really on my mind is this: Should I go to the BlogHer Conference? I could only go one day. Today. I would have to find a safe house for the children, and also neglect vacation laundry etc...

Naturally I took this straight to FB, where all of our questions have answers!

Natalie's Status: the $150 question: should I go to Blogher? Today. In San Diego.

Rebekah: YES! Did I win ? ;)

Natalie: The cheese?

Rebekah: No, the $150? :D

Natalie: no wait... I get it.

Rebekah: AHAHAHA! Lolz, it's early... your brain is working at about the same speed as mine. ♥ love you

Natalie: that's how much admission is to the HUGEmongous blogging conference today...

Rebekah: OOOOH, why not? It's an investment. That and you're awesome and you should circulate your awesomeness

Natalie: "working" might be an exaggeration in my case

Rebekah: Tee Hee! I'm going back to bed, maybe I'll sleep even, go to the conference! See you tomorrow!

Natalie: but... but... but there will be beautiful people there, and all my chones are dirty, and I am afraid of seeing everything I am *not*
... whaaaaa!

Rebekah: Hold the phone! You're BEAUTIFUL, you can buy yourself some clean chones to feel extra sassy. Just see everything, don't worry about what you are or aren't. No crying, getta a cuppa and go out the door and shine like I know you do.

Natalie: You do win. ((((hugs))))... oops, I got a little moko on your shoulder, sorry, thank you... sniff

Anna Banana: plz go and take photos, then blog about BlogHer, you know you want to. I wd go with you, but don't like the $150 admission.

Natalie: what's to like? I was going to pretend my Time check covers it, but I already pretended it (partly) covered the cost of my camera... that's too much pretending for one little photo assignment...

******************************************************************************
The best part about taking our questions to FB, is that in addition to getting answers, you also get unsolicited affection and bolstering. Affection and bolstering = Bonus. But I still don't have clean clothes. And my slow typing has made the prospect of going even more daunting, because it is getting late.

Yup.

I wonder if there are any conferences on slow typing, procrastination, or social anxiety.

******************************************************************************
8:12 am Update: I started laundry.
Searched for my Chickenblogger-ComicCon ensemble. Failed.
Put on my Dress.
Searched for my Chickenblogger-ComicCon ensemble. Failed.
Put on my shoes.
Searched for my Chickenblogger-ComicCon ensemble. Failed.
Checked FB, got more affection and bolstering. Smiled.
Brushed Maria's hair, got her dressed, fed her toast and jelly, with the butter very melted so you can't see it.
Checked email, suppressed urge to cry, because I lost a Chcikenblog follower. Questioned my point in struggling to go to an expensive conference about blogging, where I would possibly have fun, but also learn fifty ways that I am not doing it right, when I can stay home and figure that out for free.
Suppressed urge to cry, because I can't always get what I want, but I have more elaborate, self-deprecating rationals for why I am entitled to cry.
Realized I have no "business" cards, or laptop, or phone-blog apps, or swag, or marketing gimmick to promote Chickenblog.
Realized Geoff is amazing for offering to bring Maria to work. All day. Even during his 5 pm meeting.
Gave up. Cried. Blogged.

***********************************************************************************
8:50 am Update: Geoff says, "If you don't go, I'll be really, really sad."
Then he kept repeating, "Go, go."
And I cried some more, because I already changed into my khakis and honey badger shirt, and I can't bear the thought of squeezing back into my I feel pretty dress. Also because I know that I really should be here tackling the list.

Won't it be great if I go, just as I am, and actually learn something, and the world doesn't stop spinning, and I come home wiser, and imbued* with something special?

***********************************************************************************
9:07 am Update: He's going to have to make me go. What business do me and honey badger have at a conference for the real bloggers?

::WOW... Word of the Week: Imbue means : to permeate or influence as if by dyeing. Also: to get your nickel's worth at a big, fancy conference.

{this moment}


A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
:: Idea from Soule Mama ::

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Monday, August 01, 2011

For One Hundred Years or More


We were invited to a birthday party. Our neighbor, and newest friend, turned one hundred years old. Meet Irma. She touched our hearts and faith with her warmth and generous affection.

I cannot speak for Irma, but for myself. I am blessed and honored for all the beautiful and loving people I know, and in Irma's eyes, in the sweet remarks she made, I was reminded of how dear my friends and family are to me, and of how precious and miraculous life is... how it is meant to be lived as fully and joyfully as possible. I do not ever want to pass up an opportunity to celebrate... everyone, and everything! Our greatest and smallest milestones and accomplishments should be sung about, and toasted. We should gather together often, in ease, with smiles.

I think of how we celebrated our Grandmother's birthday, when Eunice turned eighty years old, and the wisdom and love she shares with us. It makes me deeply thankful and excited that in a few days we will be celebrating her eighty-ninth birthday! It makes me think of all the times we have paused to reflect on our triumphs and successes, and how there is never a regret when we make the time to share each others' company, and make merry.


I am still learning. I hope to always be learning. Some lessons are ingrained, instilled, a part of me. Some lessons are new, or simply need a refresher... a reminder of their value and meaning.

I've learned to try new things, meet new people, to be open to friendships.
I have learned that love grows, and there is always room for one more.


I have learned that we will grow old, but we do not have to grow-up. There is no final destination, or ultimate finishing line... not in life. I used to wonder when I would know I was an adult, or a grown-up, or had arrived, but I have figured out that this life is moving, not fixed. I will be young and old, silly and wise, smarter, and not... it's about adapting, changing, exploring, enjoying, sharing... moving with the journey, not checking the watch and fixating on a destination.


Cookies will always taste good. Flowers will always be beautiful. Friends will always be welcome. Time passes and experience teaches, but some things never change. I hope I always remember that cookies, dresses, flowers, friends, parties, and anticipation are good, and always will be.


I have learned to try and find balance. A little bit is best. A little more might be better, but a whole lot is not necessarily so good. Play, and rest. Order, and chaos. Quiet, and resounding. Here, I need help, to be reminded. That's fine too. I am learning to be a work in progress.


I have learned that anything good, is even better when shared.


I want to live a long time. I have more dreams, more plans, more wishes. I want to be more daring, and I want to be as comfortable about being less daring. I want to live my long life fulfilling my ideals, answering to my needs and interests. I want to serve others too, to give, to touch. Balance... again. Finding the nerve to exceed my own vision of what I can do, and exerting the nerve to say, "no thank you, that's not for me."

Irma rode her single speed bicycle from New York to California, eighty years ago! This is amazing, and inspiring... the stories she has to share could fill books.


I have learned that each of us has stories that could fill books. I have learned that people will surprise you, in a good way, sooner or later. I have found unexpected kindness. I have found other stuff too, but we have all have our shortcomings. Perfect people don't exist, and those that aim for a kind of perfection are missing some vital qualities.


I have learned it is better to join the dance, even when you do not know the steps.


I've learned to try new things. New hats. New colors. New flavors. New tunes.

I know how it feels to be embarrassed. It passes. It is not fatal. I know what it's like to taste a disagreeable thing, or hear a discordant note... those are just fuel for a good story. I know if I am respectful of others, and myself, the discomforts are manageable.


And when something does not fit, pass it on. Let it go. Move forward. Try again. Never give up. Never surrender!


Look for happiness. Expect it, but don't wait for it to present itself to you. Happiness is active, it is about engagement, it wants to be sought after, found, nurtured. I've learned to be a participant in the happiness I seek. There is no other way. Boredom happens when I am too lazy or dull to recognize opportunity, to make light. And another thing, happiness is simple... it is not wealth, it is not grand schemes, it is not elaborate extravaganzas. I find happiness where there is respect, love, curiosity, intelligence, imagination, in stillness, and in merrymaking.


I have learned that the world is very big, and very small. I have learned that life is full of contradictory notions, false steps, circumstances, struggles, conflicts. The world is very big, and the world is very small. I don't know what this means. I have learned it is okay to not have all the answers. I do hope I live long enough to learn more though.


We toasted Irma, and she toasted us. It was not her years alone that made us feel blessed in her presence. She exudes warmth and grace. Pictures of her, in her youth, were as light and exuberant as she is today.


Everyone was invited to celebrate her life. We could hear the band from our home, the good feelings spread so far, so deeply, that I carry them still. What a gift she shared with us.


I want to learn more. I want to celebrate more. And, some things... some things I want to unlearn. I have bad habits and weaknesses, things which I would be grateful to lose, but mostly I want to unlearn fear and doubt. Nothing does me less good than my fears and doubts.

I would like to live to be one hundred years old, to see great-grandchildren, be surrounded by friends, laugh and reflect on a lifetime of happinesses and lessons learned, to believe that I will have accomplished inspiring things... but I think I must learn to live today, this moment, as fully as possible. However many years are left of my life, I hope to be as kind, to smile as broadly, and speak as gratefully today as Irma did on her one-hundredth birthday.


Irma and Maria were fast friends, kindred spirits... no time at all seems to separate these two souls.