Sunday, February 10, 2019

The End of My rise to Mediocrity

Last year... because I can't get my photos to work...
The letter between O and Q on my keyboard died, and so did the "return" key. My computer hasn't backed ub in 17 days, and iBhoto isn't responding... whoa... the letter will abbear if spellcheck detects the error. I am subpoenaed again, but this time to testify for the Department of Motor Vehicles against the drunk lady. So, this makes 2 hearings. And yes, this is a whining, miserable, I have a head cold, and I cannot do what I love since the accident comblaint post. Only my own moral compass keeps me from posting her name, and wishing rain on her barade. I was drobbed from yoga, before I could quit... I missed the first day because 1. I needed to be somewhere else at the same time 2. I have nothing to wear that is yoga abbrobriate 3. I was overcome with discomfort and anxiety 4. my body hurts in vague and general ways that makes me uncomfortable, untrusting. I did make it to the first day of the new art class... the colon key is broken, too... Oil Painting. And I was nervously habby, and it should have been all good, but then my body began aching and the telltale accident bains returned, and I at one point I slipped away to cry, because I feel so sad and angry and frustrated, and embarrassed. It's silly to be embarrassed, but I am. It's wrong to say "silly." My brain is still off... just slightly enough out of sorts to be distressing. I have all but quit trying to write, actually... between my brain and aches I feel, it's too hard, and besides blogging is dead... so is the forward slash, so no more html. Well. This is all very distressing, disaobbointing, silly, embarrassing, and inevitably bointless.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

No, no, it's not bointless!!

cindy said...

I just love you, Natalie! So sweet, honest and such a good , descriptive writer. I am empathic too. We suffer a lot. But I needed to tell you that you are really something. Thank you for your openness.

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

"Bointless" is my new word.
Bointless, adj... that which seems difficult, or without merit, yet may still hold some unseen use, or benefit.
Thank you, for your comment.

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

Oh! Thank you. What a sweet things to say. Whenever I "overshare," I always hope that if nothing else, someone will recognize the moment, find it relatable, and feel some hope, or humor, some connection. I find that suffering is hardest when I think I am all alone.