Last Night We Went For a Walk

Thank you for the support and kindness. Abuelo's passing is sad mostly because it brings to mind distancia... how far away I feel from family, from feeling at home and connected. And my heart aches for my Abuela... she lost a husband of 70 years. Thank God for her faith. I think it will sustain her.

Geoff has been gone since Thursday, and today we pick him up at the airport. He was going to shuttle directly to work, but I cannot resist seeing him, even if it's only to drop him off at the office. Thanks to our cell phones, I think we talked more while he was away than when he is home. Sometimes we didn't talk at all, but having him on the phone helped me get through the day.


Going to the car wash is one of my favorite... activities? Events? Pastimes? Something. I just get a big kick out of sitting in the car, and riding through dirty and coming out clean. No brakes. Put it in neutral. I turn around and watch the children's faces as water and suds and big rollers splash and spin. We wait for the 3 color foam soap and multi-tentacles of the dryer cloths.


And this time? Oh this time was awesome, because the triple foam failed to perform and we almost drove away crest fallen and rainbowless, but they hailed us back! They said, "Go through again. You didn't get the color foam." Sweet. Like finding $20 in an old coat pocket. It's your $20, but it feels like found treasure.


After the car wash we went on an evening walk. It was a good idea to get out of the house.

Another good idea was finally celebrating Alex's 14th birthday. We invited Adam and Jacob over for a double feature, on our big screen, with gooey cheese nachos, stove popped popcorn, cold grapes, lemonade and pizza. We set out all of the good eats, dimmed the lights and let the films roll. And Adam and Jacob brought Alex a huge Lego set. People are amused to learn that Legos are still at the top of Alex's wish list. Trust me, those Legos were a huge hit with all of the children living here.


As many of you know, I have been a rebel, an outlaw. I cannot deny my ranchera roots, my cowgirl spirit, and that is why in this manicured-Garage Mahal neighborhood, living in the landlord's columned rental palace, I have snuck-in chickens. First there were 2... Lola and Betty.
When we realized we wanted needed 3, we brought home Pip.
We thought this was our final line-up, but then sweet little Lola died.
Still committed to the idea of having 3 hens, we introduced Amelia.
And for a while we got to just sit back and enjoy the sight of our 3 chicas, Betty, Pip and Amelia.
And wow! did they start to grow fast!
And make us happy!
They have even inspired great works of art.


It was during our visit to Oregon, that my mind proved to my heart that we had a rooster in our midst. I could not be sure about Amelia/o, but it was painfully obvious that our dear Pip was growing proud tail feathers and a cocky stride. If we were in another kind of neighborhood, if our yard were wider, deeper and our own, then this might not have to be a problem. Some roosters are nice and capable of being fine pets, stately additions to a family farm.

I took all 3 chicas to the feed store where they came from and asked Martin to come to the car and see what he could tell me about our situation. Martin could see what I saw and confirmed that Pip is a rooster. He also admired his pretty plumage and unique appearance and he invited Pip to stay there, either as a permanent resident or possibly to be adopted. Some farmers want roosters, and he assured me Pip was destined for a good home. Sigh. You don't think this was a *the dog is living on a farm now* kind of story, do you? Don't tell me. I don't want to know.

All the way home, Maria sang "Pip don't be a rooster. Come home Pip. Pip don't be a rooster. Come home Pip. Pip don't be a rooster. Come home Pip. Pip don't be a rooster. Come home Pip. Pip don't be a rooster. Come home Pip." It was a very sad song. Thinking of it generates endless wishful thinking.

Naturally I called Geoff from the parking lot of the feed store. I had to tell him the sad news, and promote myself... the responsible cowgirl, who can make the tough decisions. And I was ready to drive home, move forward, take my losses, but it was Geoff who said, "But we need more than 2 chickens. There's no sense putting it off, if there are chicks available now we should just go for it." That's the honest truth. See? I'm not the only outlaw in the family.


We will have to raise these day old chicks separately from the teenage chicas, but I think they will catch-up and adjust soon enough. This dark chocolate baby is a Dark Bantam, and the boys were awestruck with the breed name and immediately and simultaneously declared: "Her name has to be Fantam the Bantam!"


And this little Buttercup is a is a Golden Wyandotte. Considered a friendly breed and certainly very pretty... she and Fantam look like peanut butter and chocolate together.


I just love the markings on these 2. They are very sweet together and we are enjoying their smallness... now that we are so *experienced,* we have a greater appreciation for how quickly this little chicky phase passes.

It's hard to get good pictures of chicks. They move so fast. Peck, scurry, peck, peck, peck. The camera captures dozens of fuzzy blurs, little feathery somethings, lost in the big picture.


Amelia can be almost as hard to capture. She and Betty are on the move and big! Amelia fancies herself a parrot. She loves to perch on shoulders, and she has no trouble flying up or down.


"Ooh arggh, Amelia!" She's setting a course for a patch of green grass.


The best times of this week have been in the garden, watching Joe and Amelia and Betty free range, while we keep very watchful eyes on the new chicas. The weather has been pleasant, comfortable. We have no big plans or commitments. Our carrots and tomatoes are getting full and plump. Lola's garden is abundant with blooms.


Even with a good camera, I cannot always get the picture I want, but these fuzzy farm photos are a happy reminder that we have had some good days, some enjoyable times... amusing and tranquil.


There are plenty of cold grapes and crisp nectarines to feed us the flavors of summer. I talk to my mom almost daily and she is making some progress, managing as best she can, and I am glad that her Mommy is with her this week. I finished 2 blocks worth of hand quilting on Ruth's quilt. One day at a time, recognizing the pleasures and blessings, appreciating what is good. I look forward to more evening walks and double features.

It's almost time to head to the airport. More joy ahead!

Thank Goodness For Gardens, Water and Light


My mommy was going to be here today, for my brothers' and son's birthdays and for a promotion, for hugs and catching up, before she had to go back to Oregon to start a new job. Sunday night we got a call/s... it's a blur. Geoff told me she'd been in an accident, "She's okay." That's what we have to hear to save us from collapsing: She's okay. He's okay. It's okay. And considering what happened it is a miracle she is okay, though she is a long way from all better. My dad drove through the night to be with her, and my brother flew the next day. My other brother (happy birthday bro!) is going to be with her today.


Your prayers and healing thoughts would be much appreciated. For her, for me.


It's amazing how many times my mom has made the 20 hour drive, to come and see us, to help with babies, to visit and celebrate, to connect, and I always worry about those winding roads, the logging trucks, the long days... I think of how much love she has for us that she does this so regularly to see me and the kids and my brothers, their families, her mom and sister. We always wish for an opportunity to find some place where we can all be neighbors. We think it would be so wonderful to find each other in the same town or neighborhood, just around the corner, a short walk away.


It's a tremendous comfort to me that her husband is with her and caring for her. And I was glad Bill could fly up for a quick visit, to hold her hand. If she didn't have their company I would not hesitate to abandon everything and be with her. Instead I am trying to get my ducks chicks (thanks Pam!) in a row.

Fortunately we do not have to move. Garybob, the landlord, was appeased with an increase in the rent. We are still trying to make our trailer on land deal happen. It manages to get more complicated by the day. I say "I am detached," but of course that is a lie. In truth, my heart is saying Please, please, please let us make this our home. It's a mess, but we can fix it in time. Please. Please... I dunno.

So, let's see... I got the car serviced, which was a bit overdue, so that's good. Today I go to get my tooth serviced... somehow I don't think this will be as fast and easy as the oil change and tune-up. My visits with my crappy dentist of 4 years ago are haunting me again... have I ever shared the story of how he drilled through to my sinuses? He didn't say a thing and only stopped when Alex asked, "Why is my mommy bleeding so much?" Yeah, that's a good story!

There is an overwhelming amount of cannot be postponed school paper work that has to be turned in, checked-off, stamped and triple signed.

Alex's birthday is Thursday. He already knows his modest party is going to be postponed. He didn't complain at all, but I saw that look... the one that a mom always wants to turn into a smile. I can tell he's bummed.

My best friend didn't wait to be asked. She'll watch the cats, the 2 birds, the rabbit. I'll take care of the chicks. Don't ask. Seriously. I have some hard decisions to make.

I will not be driving to Chicago. For months I have been drawing up itineraries and deciding on routes, and I have also been thinking, Am I nuts?! Yes, a lot of waffling, but with strong leanings toward being with everyone in Chicago and then Wisconsin. Geoff is going and he'll be gone for a week. The children and I will be missing Geoff and a Midwest family memorial for Jim, Corm.

And in Mexico, my abuelos will have family, except for us, gathering to celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. S e v e n t y! !Setenta años¡ Felicidades abuelos.


I hope I can get those chicks in a row, tie up loose ends and be ready to leave to Santa Rosa, then Oregon, by Friday. I think my screaming tooth might be the biggest obstacle. The children are such good travelers, so helpful and easy. We'll pack the bare minimum and be prepared to go with the flow, hopefully making things easier for my mom by cooking and cleaning and renting lots of movies, adjusting pillows, pulling slugs out of her garden!


Lola's Garden is looking so beautiful. Did you know that cosmos are drought tolerant, that they even thrive in bad soil? It's comforting, somehow, to know that good things are possible, even in less than ideal times and places.

Flights of Fancy

We do play!

This is all about randomness and my whimsical, fanciful mood. First of all, my Mom and I had a good laugh about my break from blogging. Yes, she noticed I've had a lot to say ever since I cutback. What can I say? It's good to know I am not the only one who juggles with issues about quitting, cutting back, taking breaks and then jumping in for more... "Crunchy Chicken" is taking a poll on this timely topic. What do you think?


What do you think of peanut butter on whole wheat bread, hold the jelly?


What do you think about Pork and Beans? And what do you think about science and geeks, and recycling?


I love science and geeks, and these Pork and Beans. And I love my serious boys. My serious boys engaged in serious geek topics. Building flying cars, designing a Lego universe. All your geeks are belong to us. What do you think about video games, and music and slow motion photography and stop motion photography? What do you think of robots?


What do you think of back yard pools, back yard camping, and climbing trees? Max wants me to to think about BIONICLE and this really hurts my brain. I try and I try to learn all those names and places and events. Alex used to try to teach me, and William used to try to teach me, and I just never have been able to retain any of it. Lately, I am reading the BIONICLE comics aloud, to Max. I do all of the voices and dramatic pauses, and I thought this was making him really happy. He says, "It's alright. Mostly I am only interested in you learning the story."




Sometimes it pays to put aside all your troubles, look the other way. Last night friends came and we played and laughed together, and the sun went down and then it came up again, and nothing's really fixed or changed, but I just feel a little bit better. I don't want to over think this... Over thinking is something I do well, and it's not to be confused with deep thinking or productive, genius type thinking. What do you think of swirling and dancing, even when there is no music? What do you think of dresses and aprons, picnics, wide brimmed hats, ponds, brownies, and charm packs?

Nothing is fixed, but the sun came up and I feel alright. I'm going to take a shower, and go on a walk. I'm going to watch the chicas run in the garden, and do some hand quilting. I am going to read a BIONICLE comic to Max, water the garden and listen to music...




...Listen to Pink Martini

"Hang on Little Tomato"
You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it's dark
And not a bit of spark
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love

Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you'll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something's coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to his advice
When change is hard and not so nice
You listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you

Wordy Wednesday


Engraving the barrel was just a passing idea of mine, but my husband is a man of action. He set to it right away. It looks so pretty. By trade he is an engineer, but his skills are hardly limited. And now it seems he can add free-hand wood burning artist. Maria and I worked together turning the soil and adding more, then tossing in some ugly nuts. Never heard of ugly nuts? You'll find them under a rabbit's hutch! With the soil well amended, we were ready for planting: 1 cosmo, 6 marigolds, 6 zinnias and a French lavender. It felt good getting dirty and completing this memorial.


Amelia? It's a working title. Some names take time to fit. She flew out of her take-home box and we had to look for her in the van. A lost flyer... sounds like 'Amelia' to me. Pip and Lady Betty Orpington had settled into their dynamic and worked out their pecking order. When Amelia came on the scene it was pretty wild. She wasted no time in hen pecking her new found sisters, and she would actually peck their feet, lifting them off the ground. Pip and Betty looked stunned and pipped shrilly, with shock and dismay. Max intervened by tapping Amelia on the head. He reasoned that he would show her she may be top hen, but he was the disapproving surrogate rooster. We are happy everyone has calmed down and there is peace in the hen house once more.


Here is Pip, and she is about to leap out the door. She loves me. She runs up to me and settles in my open hand to fall asleep, then Betty joins her and eventually Amelia concedes and shoves her sisters over and squeezes in. Geoff says they're chilly. I say they love me.


This picture is all about tail feathers. Shooting up like tiny sprouts from Lady Betty's posterior are the tufted buds of her tail feathers. I think they are ridiculously cute.


Benjamin thinks they are ridiculously cute too, and mesmerizing and, and tempting and before he can think of 1 more adjective I have to remove him. His heart is not pure... lol.

Chango has more sense and keeps a safe distance from the chicas. Does he remember our Rancho days and the hens we had there, Gracie, Luna and Rosie? He never pestered, bothered, molested or pursued those hens, and hopefully Benjamin will learn to be as respectful as his older and wiser roommate, Chango.

Joe was with us when we lived on our 2 acres. Joe has been with us for 4 houses and 8 years. Sweet, shy Joe. Yesterday I took a moment to do one of my favorite things: Watch him chew. Watching a rabbit's mouth move is seriously one of the most amusing things I can think of, and it never fails to make me smile.


I kept trying to get a really good picture of the whole effect... the wiggling nose, the fast moving lips, the twitchy, cute bunnyness of it. Then I realized it's something that really should be filmed, because still photos are not fast enough... you just get a blurr. And I realized another thing, I was not being very respectful of Joe... snapping pictures while he ate his lunch. It was undignified. Why should I expect to get a decent picture of someone eating? Certainly, I would not want someone trying to make me look interesting or cute eating my lunch. So, I was about to drop the whole project, when I got this:


And I have to say this comes really close to capturing what I love about a rabbit eating. It makes me smile.


I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning, but it really helps to stop and smile.

We're Bird Watchers and Stuff

To begin with, I love "And stuff." It is the laziest, most effective way to express a broad spectrum of specific nonspecific articles that don't merit individual delineation and yet are of significant enough worth to be credited in conversation. "And stuff," is wonderful and stuff.

A scrub jay is making a nest in the bougainvillea that grows along the house entry. Bougainvillea is a plant with pretty flowers, and wicked thorns, which is why I find it a lousy choice for the narrow passage leading to our front door. If it isn't reaching out to grab us, then it is shedding heaps and drifts of leaves that blow into the house every time we open the door. Ah, but as a home for birds and their nests, it is ideal. There are 3 abandoned nests nestled in there and now this new one is getting spiffed and ready. I worry that we are going to wake the babies every time we come and go, but the jays must have realized it's a busy spot, so maybe they do not mind our family traffic. I hope I can get some pictures of the jays at work, then babies too.


In the meantime, this baby sings all day long. He sounds like a squeaky bed spring, and then he switches over to a pipipipipipip. We watched him again yesterday afternoon. We didn't have a dinner picnic, but opted for a water spree instead.


My children know how much I love to play with water, so the fun began when they gave me mischievous looks while I was watering in the front yard. You know the look... 'betcha can't get me with that hose!' That kind of look is more temptation than I can handle and pretty soon I was giving them a good soaking, right there under the watchful eye of Momma Woody. She didn't mind. I think she liked the laughter and squeals of delight.


Maria was already drenched, William and Max too, but they were not through with water sports, and out came the soakers. William and Max were getting ready to do combat in a dual, and Maria thought it looked like fun. A 3-way dual? And her unarmed... well, at least she was well-dressed. I hope Missy recognizes the pretty dress she sent Maria last Christmas, and it's been almost a year since Calamity Kim sent us our chicken aprons.


She's well dressed and fearless! Laughing it up, caught in the crossfire, while her big brothers meet in a watery battle.


If it were 2 degrees warmer I probably would have had to join them. I am reminded how much we enjoy our fun and play with water. My head is swimming with happy pool memories, beach days and soaker battles of the past. Rain showers, river swims... I love water. I think William shares my impish delight in soaking people.


In a minute I am going to invite him to the backyard for another late afternoon romp in the spray. It's an even warmer day than yesterday. Maybe I'll splash too.


You might be wondering how I managed to get so many pictures of the elusive William... me too. He's shy, like his father, and a good person, like his father too.


Show me your towel," I prod him, so I can show-off. How many years have I battled with too many unidentified towels piling up around the tub, hanging on doors? Too many! And I have this huge ick-factor about shared towels and wet, wadded-up, damp towels... echkghh... gag reflex kind of sound. My Mother's Day gift to my family, was to individualize towels. I finished the children's and eventually I will make 2 more for me and Geoff. It was easy and fun and it's working. Everyone has an old towel made new and uniquely their own. William's is piratey... oooh arghhh!

And that is it for bird watching and stuff. It is Friday, and even though Geoff works weekends, the children and I still have that end of the week kind of giddyness, because we know that at least tonight he is coming home! I hope something is making you giddy too.

rrrRibbit


I let Max make a sugary syrup for the bee keeper. He hung it from the olive tree. We made many happy ants and then one happy spider! I wonder if they tasted sweet.
The backyard has a ficus and an olive tree, star jasmine, bower vine and a red honeysuckle kind of vine. There are also a lot of bromeliads and lantana, bougainvillea, and a prickly evergreen ground cover. There are some giant bird of paradise, huge sago palms, asparagus fern and a patch of lawn that struggles to look respectable... something we don't help when we pitch a ginormous tent for 4 day backyard adventures. I cannot fault the plants themselves, but I cannot say they are any I would have chosen. So many of them are sharp, prickly, ragged, imposing. The bower vine is pulling down the shared fence with the neighbors... not our problem, right? Something else is compromising the high stuccoed wall that divides the garden along the length of the property... I moved the sand box away from this. No need to tempt quake-fate.


It's been exactly 1 month since we brought home tadpoles from the east county creek. Remember, I assured the boys we were not breaking any laws or jeopardizing the fragile balance of Earth's ecosystems. We will return healthy, vigorous frogs. It will be like a conservation effort. A rescue, if you will. I am so in love with those little tadpoles, with the celery growing in the thrift shop aquarium and the tiny snails that have begun to appear. Today we found a dragonfly larvae.

The tadpoles dart and dash, and seem to enjoy exploring in the early evening. And they are growing. It was imperceptible at first, but very recently I have noticed feet. Tiny, tiny feet and the black dots of toes. They are forming just at the base of the tails. Did you know that their metamorphosis can take as long as 2 and 1/2 months? Imagine how much more smitten I will be by then, how eager I will be to hear the first pips of their Pacific Treefrog calls. Being the most prevalent frog in California i.e. Hollywood, the call of the Pacific Treefrog is the call of all television and movie frogs.

I have begun to hope, to ponder... do you suppose there is any chance we will find our home in the next 2 or 3 months? A place with room for a pond, or maybe one with a seasonal stream? Wouldn't the frogs, the happy, well loved frogs, frogs native to the entire region, wouldn't they be happy in a backyard pond? I think they could be. Yes, that would be very nice.


If not, if they become frogs while we are here in Garage Mahal, well, I know we will have to return them to their oak lined creek. Sigh. The children will be a bit disappointed... the mother will be totally bummed... I tell ya, I am really lovin' those frogs!

And yesterday's post? Well, what can I say? It's not always easy or honest to keep smiling, and so it helps relieve some of the pressure when I can let it all hang out. The comments and support are a great help. Thank you.

Yesterday, After the Rain or 1,111 Posts

Once upon a time, a family awoke to an unexpected shower. The rain falling in the garden, was cold, the sky dark and gray, and the family felt invigorated and inspired by the change in the weather. There was talk of camping, or walking in the zoo. The youngest one found her umbrella and boops. And when the rain stopped, they stepped out and into the garden.


I had so much fun reading your comments and reactions to the "Pop Post" that I had to go back to the Blogger Buster tutorial and pull out a new trick. I feel so fancy. But I'd rather wear boots and gardening gloves than a tiara... just look what's popping up in the barrel garden. Those tall fellows are carrots and the wee little ones are violas.


Can you see the little seed caps at the tips of the carrot sprouts? Those delight me. And already the frilled true leaves of the carrots are emerging. It's very exciting. I know, it's time to thin them. They'll be crowded enough growing in a barrel next to flowers and a tomato plant. Joe will be happy to dine on tender and fresh carrot greens.

Did you know Carrots love Tomatoes? I learned all about companion gardening years ago when I read Louise Riotte's wonderful gardening book. It's one of my favorites.


I hope carrots and tomatoes love violas. I do.

Once upon a time, there was a kitty who lived all of his days loved and sheltered. To keep him safe from coyotes, which are alarmingly prevalent and malevolent and mean and hungry and most unpleasant, the family kept the kitty indoors.


Most days our furry baby is happy inside, and then there are days like this one when he cries and cries and cries. He watched me from the big window as I cooed to my carrots and tomato, and he made such a pitiful wail as if to say, "Nature calls me to her bosom, be merciful and let me answer. I am a fierce and wild beasty! Hear me roar!"
Really, it was just like that.


So I released the wild beasty. And he directly ran and leaped for the most beastly and wild corners of the walled garden. He sniffed rain dampened grass. He rolled in a dirty place. He attacked a spider web with beastly ferocity.


"Here kittky, kitty. Come here Benjamin baby, furry, furry yum-yum," which is the name he likes me to call him.


And this is how he answered me!


Then Maria got wild too! She waved goodbye to Alex and me, she even said "I love you, " as she drove off in search of adventure.

.... to be continued.

We Are Inside, The Landlord is Outside
Twice a year GaryBob, a name composed of 2 different landlord names, likes to pull up weeds, trim trees, spray insecticides and knock stuff around. I come to dread this day, as he has pulled out my flowers, shattered my potting table, broken my vases and garden pots. He is not a mean person. He is not cruel. He is reckless in a dorky kind of get the job done kind of way. Already today, the blackberries have succumbed to his method.

I cannot go on hating him and cursing the whole tenant/landlord relationship. All of the anguish and suffering is locked up in my head, because I don't have the confidence and daring to confront him and to say out loud all of the ways he infuriates me. I feel angry and hurt by what he does, sad about how it makes me feel and really frustrated that I have not addressed him on each occasion of his offenses.


This morning I had a learning moment, an epiphany of self realization and enlightenment: I rarely, if ever, speak up on my own behalf. Haha... it does not escape my notice that I am still not addressing the individuals that I am actually mad at. I never want to hurt someone's feelings, appear petty or insensitive. I never want to create conflict or make waves. But I am realizing that the net result of sparing other people pain or conflict is that I endure it all for myself. I subject myself to sadness, aggravations, anger and a black hole of a knot in the pit of my stomach. This is no favor to me, and it is no favor to the one I presume to spare. What I don't release is bottled inside and festering. GaryBob and a few other unsuspecting folks have me so furious and disgusted, so darn mad and hurt, and as they go along their merry way, I am left with the belly ache, and a powerful dislike, disrespect and stink-eye for them.


There is a point at which I am not a victim, but a bitter martyr, disingenuous, and depleted of self-worth and dignity. I think of the people I am mad at and I realize that there was a beginning when what they did upset me, but as long as I cannot address the issue there will not be an end. They are free to repeat the offense and I am free to replay it in my head over and over again, so that I victimize myself. Aggh... enlightenment can be so hard on the eyes! I don't like seeing this in myself, let alone saying it out loud.

Hmmmm... now what?

Geoff re-injured his knee, the right one, the one with the torn meniscus. This is so sad. He really should get a break from exercise related injuries. He wants to be out there playing, getting healthy, staying healthy. I feel so bad for him. He can hardly walk.

If you should happen to come to our place and we invite you to dinner, sit carefully. I don't know what we've done to deserve it, but our sturdy, rustic, heavy duty solid wood chairs are crap. We started with 8 and I think we are down to 5. They just get loose, come undone, fall apart. One chair cut my leg and Max's with an exposed screw. This morning another chair popped a railing and left an exposed screw that punctured William's back. I want to burn them.

So, gee. I seem to have a list of aggravations and frustrations. Eh. It's good to purge now, then in a year when we are living in our own home and savoring the beauty of the day and our fine lives, we can look back and rejoice over how far we've come. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Maria is driving her car. Her baby and her driving hat are in place and she is turning corners, seatbelt fastened. Did you notice her haircut? Oh, these dear rites of passage. She cried after I committed the first snip and she sobbed, "I not want a haircut!" It's not up for debate. The deed is done, and we all think she looks pretty with her healthy, fresh do.


Her steering wheel is very big. She purses her lips and makes a motoring hum. When I sit behind her she fastens my seatbelt too.

The house needs cleaning, and we are expecting Hans and Gretchen for dinner. Obviously, Geoff cannot help and I am too cranky and moody to feel motivated, yet. I suppose when the work outside is done, I will breath easier. GaryBob just finished washing the whole yard with a "mild oil to kill black stuff." And I said nothing, because having an epiphany and doing something about it are not the same thing.

Like a Day in May


I may be posting only to distract myself from the fact that today is chick day. Out east, at the feed store I like, they are receiving a new shipment of chicks. I have spent the entire week in a mental-spiritual debate over whether or not I should bring home 2 chicks. My heart aches. My head is worn. I keep hoping for a sign that it's reasonable to take charge of my destiny, to move forward with my hopes, to nurture my flights of fancy. I keep hoping a home will reveal itself to us, so that we can know that after 5 years of false starts and dashed dreams, we will finally have a game plan, a destiny. I think it is the very worst part of being an adult that we are compelled to do what is appropriate, responsible and rational. So, without a sign, without urging and enthusiastic support and encouragement, I hang my head and accept that it is not my chick day.


Is it human nature to want more? I live in a big, safe home, but I want my own house, my own walls and pipes. I have healthy children and I am married to my 1 true love. But, wouldn't it be just a bit sweeter if we could have a garden and hens?


The children's homeschool supervisor, a wonderful woman, brought oranges, tangerines and avocados to share. Max and Maria were more than happy to relieve Franya of her surplus fruit. And I had to exercise all of my adult discipline to not ask for one of the extra chicks they have in their coop. Franya was happy to describe how cute their chicks are and how easy they are to raise and keep. Mercy. I was ready to blurt: "Yes! I know. Let me help you. We'll take 2 chicks, since you find yourselves with 6 more than expected. We'll be happy to lend a hand." Good grief... I had no idea I had such power of restraint. I hate to test it like this.


We are in such ideal May weather. No grey foggy mornings. No debilitating heat like we had last week. This is grilling weather. Picnic weather. Sit outside and rip seams weather... Am I the only semi-experienced quilter that uses a seam ripper almost as much as a sewing machine? This is the kind of weather that makes me think of summer camping and crossing creeks in bare feet.


Even Joe is happy to loll on the patch of lawn in the backyard, nibble tiny spring flowers. He knows these are idyllic days, happy days of May and leisure.


Max tried to teach Maria about the pips in the tangerines. He demonstrated eating a piece, feeling around with teeth and tongue for the small "hard bit," and then spitting it out. Maria was engrossed and delighted, but nonetheless she swallowed all of her pips.

Next to our tomato plant, in the barrel, the carrot seeds have sprouted. The dark soil looks so rich with its new carpet of green,and now comes the hard part of thinning the seedlings. At least Joe is happy to receive the freshest baby sprouts, otherwise it would feel so tragic pulling them up. Is ambient light sufficient for tomatoes to fruit? I don't think so. I'll have to recruit Alex again and move the barrel a bit north and west, where there may be a bit more light.


After our picnic lunch, Max and Maria picked up their swords and played at battle. I love the sheer confidence and energy Maria is unleashing. There were no injuries, no acrimony, only the joy of play.

Earth Day


With the new garage screen hanging up, we worked and played in our Creativity Room. The cats and Maria can't wander to the busy street, but the fresh breeze can blow in. With most everything as organized and comfortable as it ever will be, we found ourselves enjoying the new space. And in the spirit of Earth Day, I sit a little taller knowing that we re-thought, re-used and recycled to make the best of our world.


I am beginning work on a very special quilt. Max and Alex helped me think about how I want to use the fabric we are repurposing. There was some design debate about whether to use the bright side or the backside of aloha prints and it was decided that both sides would be appropriate and pretty. Maria sat at the cutting table and made bits of the scraps I let her cut. Benjamin sat with his nose to the screen and watched birds and cars.


So, today is Earth Day. I think that it is unfortunate that when I can do very little I sometimes do nothing at all. I am conscientious about the environment. I have been conscientious since about the first grade, when I was also a devoted seatbelt advocate. I recycle and I turn out lights, we cut back, we eat less of that and more of those... the usual stuff. Looking around here I can see where we need improvement, and I know what I would love to do to make a difference, like gardening. I don't have time to explain why we should bother, so I offer you: This. Please read it, if you need reason to bother.


This barrel is my garden. There are a lot of tropical plants and quite a bit of lawn in the front and even more concrete all around the house, and unfortunately none of these fall under my jurisdiction and even my attempts to enhance and modify these have been met with a landlord's weed-whacker. Sigh.


Last year when my sweetpeas were pulled up and my violas were raked over, I cried and I felt helpless and degraded, and I did not want to ever bother again. Not here. Not at Garage Mahal. By summer I regained some of my composure and the call of the garden beckoned me to try again. Geoff brought me wine barrels, and I planted tomatoes. Unfortunately, the walled garden and area trees don't let a lot of sunlight into the yard and the tomatoes failed to heat up. They grew green and leggy, but the fruit never came.


I think gardeners cannot help themselves. I cannot keep from slowly turning the pages of seed catalogs and making wishful gardens in my mind. I cannot help bringing home green bean seeds. I want fresh cut flowers and summer salsa from hot, plump sweet garden tomatoes. Gardeners have a calling, a need that cannot be denied and so when the season changes and the signs of spring awaken our senses, we try again.


Alex and I strapped the barrel to a handtruck and moved it to the backyard, where I am hoping we will have more sun, better luck. And so, maybe this little blossom will become a tomato.


Or, maybe not. There is a lot of shade in this irrigated suburban paradise.


Is it the shade that these blackberry canes need? Between palm trees, bird of paradise and concrete walls, these spiny berry plants force their way and seem to manage quite nicely. It was June of last year when we were sampling backyard berries... only 1 or 2 at a time, but much appreciated. I am noticing more flowers this year and hopefully our dedicated picking has prompted the plant to produce more to meet demand.

I often wonder how much or how little it would take to be self-sufficient, to sustain our family. For many years I have followed the progress of the the Dervaes family in Pasadena. They are amazing. Seriously, what can any of us do with 1/5 of an acre? They have taken a "Path to Freedom" that is extraordinary and an example to us all. I cannot say that I will ever achieve that level of self-reliance, but I deeply appreciate that they are showing me what is possible. They raise my thoughts.


Our tadpoles are marvelous. We are so pleased to see them thriving and growing. We brought in a fresh supply of creek water and an additional plant. The wild celery smells so good... potent, the way wild things do. Everyone enjoys sitting beside the aquarium and meditating. Gazing at the pebbles and sand, watching the tadpoles dart and feed, observing tiny air bubbles rise and roots spread. We look forward to returning healthy frogs to the creek.


Every day is Earth Day. Every day I care about the environment and our role in improving life on this planet. I should care more and do more or in some instance less. So, I keep trying. I keep thinking and feeling and learning. These are some bloggers that care a great deal, and make a point of keeping Earth Day a daily issue:

Garden Punks

Mom, What's For Dinner?

Mrs. Crunchy

Slowly She Turned

I Heart Farms

Mama's Village

Friday Wrap-Up


Notice anything new? Uh-huh. I took my new boots walking yesterday. Red boots need regular outings, fresh air, love. I am happy to oblige them.

Gratitude:

Thank you Mamspark's for the offer of science help. My boys were so shocked at me for taking those tadpoles from their home. I think it is wonderful that they are concerned and conscientious, but mercy, it's a shame children these days have so many limitations, restrictions and boundaries. They may be safer than we were when we were children, but I like them to explore outside of textbooks. I had to convince them it was safe, ethical and even legal to scoop up tadpoles, and of course in this day and age, I am not sure it is...lol! So, if anything should happen to those tadpoles, and we all know stuff happens to tadpoles, then I will have a lot of explaining to do!

Thank you for all the encouraging comments and sweet praise for the children. Janece, you could totally be Amira's teacher. Think, who's been doing it up to now? Talking, dressing herself, feeding herself, sitting up, walking, reading!! for goodness sake, all of these skills have been learned under your watch! I take it one day at a time and I never assume I have all of the answers, and yes it is hard, but you could do it. You already are doing a wonderful job of it!

One thing that makes all the difference in the world as a homeschooling mom, is hearing positive feedback. It is an amazing boost, so thank you Tracy, and thank you Lesley and Laura Jane. I get a lot of morale boosting and support from Nikkipolani-Anne and Jennifer and from Anne.


Making New Friends:

Sometimes I get comments from people that do not include a reply email, which is one more excuse reason I don't get it together to reply to every comment. Other reasons include laziness, poor time management, life, the universe and everything. Well, I love comments, so please don't let gaps in the conversation discourage you from leaving any more comments. I read them all. I love them all. Comments are wonderful, and even if I am not answering them all, know that I am listening.

"YayaOrchid," thank you for adding me to your links.

Amy, it would be cool to get our little people together. You make good wishes.

Andylynne, I am still waiting for you to start a blog!

Y en Mexico tengo una nueva amiga, Gloria, y ella tiene un blog bonito..."En Búsqueda." Trato leer lo y quiero mejorar mi español. ¡Es deficil!


It's too easy to find something good on the internet, get distracted and then lose all memory of that great site, wonderful blogger, interesting article... well you get the idea.

I wonder if "BigBucketGirl" is still reading. Hello, BigBucketGirl. I love that you made crayons.

And "Judy in Kentucky," I hope you're still reading, and I hope you have started a blog too. Thank you for introducing yourself. Your comment was such a treat...
"Hi! I am one of your "other" readers who have not spoken before. I like reading your blog and enjoy the photos. I never know what it will be... buttons, chickens, kittens, cowboy boots, family gatherings, and I especially love the photos from Hawaii.
I am a "baby boomer" who lives with my husband and three cats. We have a daughter and three-year old granddaughter in California. I am new to the cyber-world, just got my laptop recently, and love all the sites to see and people to visit on the web. I haven't started my own blog yet cause I don't have enough know-how... but wanted to say "hi"." I read this and grin, and blush, and sigh.


I have a suspicion that my Friday Wrap-Up won't get posted until Saturday. Writing this is taking some time, and I need to take care of a few things... I'll be right back. In the meantime, you have the option of playing with something I found thanks to Marisa's link in "Quilt Otaku." Here it is: This is a link to a super time waster, click at your own risk.

Sentimental Journey


Adopt the pace of nature,
Her secret is patience
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we lived on our Rancho, a 2 acre rustic oasis where we played at being farmers, there was a big water trough that was left by the previous owners. I got a lot of help dragging that thing up from the pasture and over to the garden by the chicken coop. Geoff drilled some drain holes into it and then hooked it up to our irrigation system. I filled it with mulch and compost and dirt and seeds, and it wasn't long be before we had an elevated and healthy, drip-irrigated garden.


Can you see Rosie, our Rhode Island hen...? she's stepping on one of the granite rocks that encircled the play area. Alex and his great grandmother were sitting in the garden together. I miss sharing our home with her, enjoying her good company. Behind them is the yard where Rosie and Gracie and Luna lived... a chicken estate, complete with hanging art and water features. We made it very classy.


We planted fig trees and guavas and jacaranda, and lots more. I really miss the fig trees. And the lime tree. And the lemon tree.


Oh, and do I ever miss these girls, my Chicas!


This is Luna, was Luna. We named her for the white moon on her chick bottom. Her moon disappeared, replaced with spots and stripes. She did retain her docile and sweet baby chicken nature. She was an easy going kind of hen.


Now Rosie was a nice hen, and we loved her, but I would not call her sweet and docile. She had more of an attitude, an agenda that focused on laying, scratching, eating and staying alert.


Here's my first baby girl. My tender, gentle and affectionate Gracie. We thought she was such a dainty, feminine chick, that "Gracie" was perfectly suitable to her person. Her name matched her lovely plumage and the wispy down that framed her pretty face. Gracie, like her sisters, would come when called, and then she would sit on my lap and let me scratch around her neck and pet her soft back. She would fall asleep in my arms. Sigh.


We grew carrots in the water-trough garden conversion, and were those carrots ever happy. They were sweet and ginormous. I remember we would pull just one up and cut potato chip size slices for a snack. Crisp and delicious. We also juiced a lot of carrots. My favorite recipe was garden fresh carrots and beets, with lime and ginger, sometimes apple too. So yummy!


I was just browsing my photo library. I thought it would be a quick glimpse of days gone by, but some of these just had to be dusted-off and brought out of hiding. Diego, resting in an empty cereal box. I have never known a more mellow cat. He would sleep in the car! He came with us on a drive to Wisconsin and on another road trip to Oregon. It was awesome, really. I wish I had a picture of him in Custer State Park, where we were getting snowed-in and buffalo (bison, right?) were blocking the road. Diego stood on the dashboard to take in the spectacle.


Our Rancho didn't always look this good. Getting it this beautiful was one big labor of love. When we bought it, it was a sadly neglected house with no landscaping whatsoever. I read the entire Sunset Western Gardening Book twice and then designed a landscape and chose all of the plants. We hired Nacho and Victor to execute my visions, and wow, what an adventure that was.


Maria would have loved the Rancho, the big sky and the fresh fruits growing all around the house. I think she would enjoy wearing cowgirl boots and a hat, like her momma.


She would love the Chica round-up, leading them home for a night's rest.

Geez. No wonder my posts take forever to write...

34 words

Speedtest

Green, Green. Fresh and Green


Lily of the valley has more blossoms. Tiny white bells chiming fragrant notes of Spring.


Today I will continue to be guided by the list, and I will accomplish as much as I can while accepting, as so many of you noted, that there will always be more to add to life's lists. My lily, and gardening friends, are tempting me to try and make a bit of a garden outside. All past attempts have been foiled by a clumsy thoughtless dorky... by our landlord. He has unleashed untold damages on my gardening attempts that make me very sad and angry. Hope Springs Eternal?


Hopes and dreams, the stuff that keeps us moving forward.


Besides wanting to dig around in a garden, I think I will reconfigure the kitchen. A clean kitchen, purged and organized, smelling of cut limes and hot corn tortillas, is comforting and good.

Lily of the Valley and 2 Cats


This is my garden of the day. Trader Joe's has the most beautiful plants and flowers, so reasonably priced, I forget my troubles and virtual lack of a garden, and I splurge. Splurge: That looks like spl...as in splash + urge... as in gotta-wanna do it. Makes me want to go swimming. Posting my train of thought isn't always worthwhile.


Oh, look who's come to visit the garden. It's Benjamin Franklin Thunder Cat, Cowboy and Explorer. Maria calls him Benbee. He lives indoors, safe from coyotes and reckless drivers. I call him my Furry Baby and Woodgie-Woodgie Love Monster. He's extremely handsome and affectionate. Well, he is affectionate until he isn't and when he isn't a snugly purr box, he becomes a biting, scratchy beast and I have to put him in the garage. The garage is safe and comfortable, but he always come out of the garage reformed and humble.


I love Benbee.


Here comes Chango. Chango had a brother named Bongo, and together they were Chango Biddy Bongo and Bongo Biddy Chango. I am not saying this is interesting, but it's nice to write it all down for posterity. Chango is a survivor. He is the most domesticated feral cat I have ever known. He was a mighty hunter in his Rancho days, and he can still can scale a tree in a flash. He's such a tender, affectionate and sensitive fellow. He gets very nervous, and we always admire his attempts to contain his wild ways and relax. Sweet, sweet Chango. Sweet lactose intolerant, barfy Chango. I love Chango.


Geoff doesn't know this yet, but I think we are going to get another kitty... not right away, but in the next year or two. I also sense that we are destined to bring home a lop eared bunny, 3 or 4 chicks, and maybe even a pair of goats. I like the look of Nubian goats and the personality of La Mancha goats. Max really wants a pet frog. Tee hee. Benjamin looks as though he knows more room-mates are coming and he's not pleased.

Aloha Colors
Today it is gray and cold in So Cal, which is fine for a day dedicated to house cleaning and packing for the next adventure. Before tackling laundry and finding a place for this and spot for those, I will share some color from the beautiful Hamakua Coast.


Colors, shapes, texture... if only you could feel the breeze and smell the guavas and fresh cut cane grass.


The vine is growing strong, making a windbreak between the house and the garden shed. Such a color contrast with the orange and candy purple.


I wish I knew the name of the orchids used in this amazingl lei. Geoff gave it to me for Valentine's day. It looks delicate and yet it was surprisingly heavy and sturdy.
The flowers make a beautiful pattern and fit together like an origami puzzle.


These tiny clover-like flowers were all over the lawn. The head of each blossom was smaller than a dime.


The hibiscus are much bigger... as big as a bright and smiling face.


The lei lasted many days and was still lovely and fresh when I left it on the fence post... my fond aloha to this magical place.


Even the spiders are beautiful, colorful and engaging, and there are no poisonous spiders in Hawaii.


Some leis are made from ti leaves. I have only seen green ti leave leis. This plant would make a very special lei.


No time for day dreaming now. We will be in Chicago next week, and there's lots to do until then.

Everyday Life 30 :: 23


My thoughts are too rough around the edges, still taking shape. And, as this is not Wordless Wednesday, I think I should offer you some links.

1. Music. Sweet music. If you live on the East Coast you have many options for seeing Daniel Littleton and Elizabeth Mitchell in concert. The rest of us will have to settle for this little studio performance.


2. Humor.

This was a little something we amused ourselves with last week.
Maybe it works... he's been home 3 nights in a row! Now that he's home, we may have more time to play together, but we should not get addicted to TETRIS, again!

3. Nice Blog. There are so many.
Recently I have been enjoying the beautiful photographs at "Sallad Says..."

This one falls in the category of: "Sigh. She's Doing What I Wish I Were Doing." It's a mixture of admiration and envy that applies to anyone with their own home, chickens, a garden, or the motivation to effectively, successfully pursue their dreams.

And, speaking of pursuing dreams... I just love Laura Jane's stories. She is an interesting woman, doing interesting things.

4. Invest. When my check comes I may invest here. I am not sure it's what our President has in mind for saving our economy, but it suits my ideals.

5. Thinking of Phil, Bill, Hans, Gretchen, Alison: This Fatty's for you! OKay... I don't know if it's a good one or not, but it is nominated for a Bloggie.

Now back to my own thoughts, and debating whether or not to shower before I go to the gym.

It Really Is Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

We probably arrived at the tree lot at the busiest possible time, which is rare for us, but it only took 30 seconds. First: Fluffy or Noble? This year we voted fluffy. Max picked up one 6 footer and we agreed it was too narrow. We grabbed the one next to it and ta-da we had our tree.

I guess this isn't the most riveting news. It's happening everywhere, just about. Families going to tree lots. People driving around with plastic netted evergreens tied to their rooftops, like hunters returning from a woodland safari. Suburban, mundane... whatever. When that first whiff of pine hits my senses I am a child again. I feel tingly and optimistic. I feel connected to every Christmas past and holiday gathering ever. I want to open ornament boxes and reunite myself with dear memories and the tangible evidence our lives, our evolving, growing lives. And I can already anticipate the warm and quiet pleasure of waking early, plugging in the lights and reflecting in the soft, flickering glow.


There is one deciduous tree here at Garage Mahal, and it dropped a lot of leaves during our recent rain. Alex asked if he could rake them. Isn't that sweet? The landlord has gardeners come in to do all the mowing/blowing/cutting/raking of the postage stamp yard. Gardening and yardwork has become so foreign, so distant a memory, that raking leaves is like an honor and privilege. William and Alex bartered and debated over who could use the rake first. Our good leaf rake disappeared in one of the moves, so they are stuck wrestling for use of the heavy gravel rake.


So, inside, the tree is hung with blue lights. Yes, blue. It's covered in homemade ornaments and store bought ornaments and ornaments that the cat keeps batting to the floor. And outside the yard is raked, the sky's been blue and the nights cold. I may even find the ambition to hang a string of lights around the front gate. I found some of the decorations we put around the house, like the caroling snowmen and a stuffed Santa... the rest is still packed, and hiding somewhere in the garage. The Nativity. The little toys we use to count for Advent. The multi-colored strings of light.


We even made salt dough, and Max and Maria cut ornaments. We'll paint the ornaments some time this week. I think we'll work on greeting cards too. Among my family and friends, I am not always sure who's reading, but if you are peeking at Chickenblog today... know that I am thinking of you and hoping you are healthy, safe, and enjoying the tangible and intangible signs of the season... the whiffs of pine and the feeling that we are connected to one another, dear and loved. I have happy holiday, and merry wishes for all. And now I am going to plug in those lights and be glad.

Creative Distractions

When Alex chose his big pumpkin, he had big plans. Geoff watched the artful and disturbing "Pan's Labyrinth" with Alex and William, and from the movie Alex was inspired to create his own El Fauno in Jack'o lantern form. Alex chose the design and transfered it to the pumpkin and then William did the carving, which he had to improvise a bit, because the ink sketch kept wiping off. I am so happy we have a camera... the pumpkin is rotting already, but we can always enjoy the memory of this haunting-Halloween magic pumpkin.


Maria stays busy all day. She likes to cook and host tea parties, she loves playing with dough... Anne commented about how long Maria is happy to play with her dough and tools. She played for 5 hours! Want a terrific dough recipe?... scroll past the rant to find all the particulars for making non-stinky, fun dough. Maria also likes to cut paper, paint, color, draw, run... she runs a lot, and she loves the beach.


Last week, when Geoff was sprucing the yard with help from his 3 sons, Max had floral design inspiration. He wanted to open a shop where he could sell his creative combinations of tomatillos, agapanthus leaves, cape honeysuckle, ficus leaves, society garlic blossoms and sticks.


He was learning the names of these plants and asking about their toxin factors. I think it would be fun to take him to floral wholesaler and work with him on big arrangements... maybe something for Thanksgiving. I used to make floral arrangements. It was fun.

So many ways to play... what joy!

Oh What a Beautiful Morning!


heehee... I am laughing at myself. This morning is as beautiful as most mornings, but sometimes a little personal joy can make everything extra shiny and bright, like when one of my favorite talents in the blogosphere makes a really nice mention of me. Seriously, I may be a bit full of myself for a few days, since I am a recipient of a BNRPA! You may not be familiar with the Beautiful Newborn Red Pepper Award, but around here everyone is going to be hearing all about it, all day! Thank you Anna Maria!

And check this out: More BNRPA award winners!
Meg of "Montessori By Hand"... looks awesome!
Linda's blog...so inspiring!
"Fiddlesticknitting" is introducing a rosebud of a baby! Welcome to the world Satya.
"Happy Loves Rosie" is peek across the pond, where Hayley is raising teens and making art.


We had a family day, out in the world. So nice to be together and seeing new sights. The Model Railroad Museum was a huge hit, and no wonder, what with lovely trains puttering down tiny tracks and little scenes of farms and cities. Trains are so appealing!


While the children and I learned about "0" scale and teeny-tiny "N" scale, Geoff was waiting in line for tickets to the Natural History Museum... specifically we were there to see the Dead Sea Scrolls. We got in, and it was an amazing experience, which I am still processing... "Wow" and "Cool" are rather shallow commentaries on such a profound, historical and spiritual occasion, but Wow! Cool! The entire exhibition is an amazing culmination of history, science, art, politics, geography, archaeology, preservation, diplomacy and God. I was especially moved to see the Psalms scroll and this passage:
133:1 A Song of Ascents; of David. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

133:2 It is like the precious oil upon the head, coming down upon the beard; even Aaron's beard, that cometh down upon the collar of his garments;

133:3 Like the dew of Hermon, that cometh down upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for ever.


Of course, when you are two years old, a little museum time can go a long way. Soon it's time to get out and run around!


Life should be a balance of learning about a long time ago and life right now.


The museum showed many ancient and fascinating artifacts from Israel and Qumran. I liked seeing the dishes and little artifacts that reflected daily living, home life. Their lives are so distant, and yet present. What will remain of this day, of our lives, 2,000 years from now?


Nice to be reminded to savor the day. The blue sky, healthy children running around rose gardens and splashing fountain water.

Paper, Cloth and Glue, Bits and Pieces


Max brought me out to the patio to see what he found in the garden. Bits and pieces of summer fading were sitting on a chair, and we named the flowers and found a caterpillar. A very tiny caterpillar.


And a fairy's lantern? This tomatillo stayed small, but the lampshade growing over the fruit captured our imaginations.


I believe you could find fairy lanterns hanging in the barn of my paper farm.