Home School's Science Fair: Alex's Tank-Bot

Yesterday was a full one, and we did make it to the science fair. It was the home school science fair, for students enrolled in homeschooling in our county. The woman who coordinates these events, seminars, classes and activities is wonderful. She is one of those dear people that extends herself and with sincere warmth and kindness she makes everyone feel special. I might ask for her number, so I can call her over summer and get good advice, affirmations and encouragement... for the children... of course, for the children.


Alex has been reading "Robot Builder's Bonanza," a technical and, for him, inspiring book all about designing and constructing robots. Not light reading. My favorite part about this book may be the suggestions to visit thrift shops and look for parts that can be rescued and salvaged for making robots. No need to flog the wallet on specialty kits and fancy sets. Alex decided to give robot thrifting a go and we headed to our favorite thrift store for supplies.

Here are some excerpts from Alex's report and presentation:

Hypothesis:
My objective was to make a robot from found parts and broken toys. I wanted to see if I could find a remote controlled device that was not working, repair it and possibly make it better than it was before. I hoped to make the toy operational again and was interested to see whether I could give it more power, greater range of motion and to add an arm to it.

Method:
I went to the thrift store and searched in the toy section, the home appliances section, and the electronics section. I was looking for remote controlled toys that were broken, that also looked salvageable. I found a 6-volt Radio Shack replica tank that had been discarded. It was missing a custom manufactured rechargeable battery pack, and its charger. In the other departments I did not find anything to help my experiment.


Process and Results:
The first thing I did to make repairs to the tank was to find a new battery pack. I bought 2 battery packs, to hold a total of 8 AA batteries. To prevent the total voltage from exceeding 6 volts, I had to parallel wire them. “Parallel wiring” is when you attach 2 positive wires, of the same color (usually red,) to a load. The “load” is whatever you are powering. I also had to attach 2 negative wires, of the same color (usually black) to the load. It is important for it to not exceed 6 volts to prevent the motors overheating. If the motors overheat they can melt the protective coating of the wires, and short circuit the motor; this can start a fire.


The antenna was glued to the turret and I had to pull it out. I measured the black wire that served as an antenna and cut a new antenna of equal length. I soldered the new piece to the section that had been cut. Instead of reattaching it to the turret, I raised it above the chassis by slipping it through 2 soda straws that were taped together. The new antenna stood vertical out of the center of the vehicle.

With the improved antenna, and the new battery pack, I am able to control the robot vehicle from over 100’ feet away. The vehicle’s base and drive system is extremely powerful and can carry 3 pounds, and possibly 4.

Next I decided to build a remote controlled arm to add to the vehicle. Inspired by suggestions from the book “Robot Builder’s Bonanza” by Gordon Mc Comb and Myke Predko, I designed a cable-operated grabber. It works by winding a string around a part of the gearbox that was intended to rotate the turret of the tank. Modified like this, the gearbox now opens and closes 2 arms or “fingers” that extend from the front of the vehicle. I built the arms from pre-cut steel brackets, 2 rubber bands, tooth-lock washers, and locking nuts, and I added a second antenna to link with the controller for the new arm. The arm needed a separate power supply, so I equipped it with its own 6-volt battery pack.



Conclusion:
I hoped to build a robot from broken toys and electronic parts, to make it better and equip it with an arm. I wanted it to have greater remote range, be more powerful, and I wanted it to have additional features. The tank I found was not functional, but I was able to repair it. By adapting the antenna I increased its range, so I can control it from greater distances. The arm I designed and built allows me to retrieve objects, so that the robot can manipulate its environment.

I learned how to solder wire using a hand held electric soldering gun. I learned how to use a digital multi-meter; it tests voltage, it tests to see if circuits are complete, resistance and amperage. I practiced patience and diligence, reading the “Robot Builder’s Bonanza” for guidance, and I was able to successfully achieve my goals. In the future I hope to attach a video transmitter, so I can see the vehicle’s path from a remote location.

My heart swells.
Pardon me for a moment while I breath deeply and reflect on the joy I have thinking of my children. William helped carry in Alex's equipment. Max was on hand to keep an eye on everything. Maria took a nap, and was very cooperative and helpful when she woke. Alex was reluctant to enter the science fair, because of uncertainty, shyness and such, but William encouraged him, pushed him... I'm just trying to express how happy it makes me that these children look out for each other, they offer support and concern and they make me very proud. I cannot think of a better indication of success than having children that are creative, nice, inquisitive and a pleasure to be with.

This Morning:

Max: The dishes in the dishwasher look dirty. Can I use a fancy plate?

Me: Sure.

Max: I didn't know we could use these plates.

Me: You can only use them today and never again.

Max: Oh.

Me: Just yolking.

Max: Yolking?

Me: Joking. Yolking. Egg yolk.

Max: Why do people assume everything can be funny? Some things are just weird.


Last Night, Driving Home From Mom's Night Out:

Maria: I love dat pardee. And all the ladies are so booful.

Me: I loved the party too. Maria, you were a lady too, so good.

Maria: No. I'm not a lady. I'm jus' M'ia. And what dos ladies called?

Me: Linda.

Maria: Oh, yes, Leenda.

Me: Anne.

Maria: Anne. I like Anne. She's booful.

Me: Vera

Maria: Veela

Me: Jola

Maria: JoLA

Me: Janice

Maria: Janice

Me: Yanina

Maria: Fun-sheena

Me: Belinda

Maria: Buhlinda

Me: Josie

Maria: Joseee

Me: And Gigi

Maria: And Gigi, and the chockie fountain. And it was a pardee, and Lucas showed me the chockie fountain. I like Lucas. So fun.

Look What The Tide Brought In and A Full Day of Procrastination and Other Deep Thoughts


This photo and the video really belong with a post I made in January. It was low tide season... there were some great low tides last winter, and we kept making amazing discoveries. The most surprising being this shark. Was it a great white shark? I consulted the life guards in Solana Beach, after the recent attack on a swimmer. They were fairly certain it was a great white, and so were the people on the beach with us when we saw the little biter.

The shark was in very shallow water and obviously losing it's fight trying to get back the open ocean. It was fairly subdued when 2 young men carried it, in stages, back to deeper water, but if it had not been worn out, I don't think it would have been so cooperative. I guess I would say it was the size of a small, strong, willful toddler, but with more teeth. Here is the video I captured... one of those instances where I had to curb my photography appetite and comfort Maria, who was very distressed by the sight of the shark.




It was kind of surreal walking up to the pool and seeing an actual shark. The beach was not crowded. Next to us was another family, 2 college students, and 2 monks in flowing saffron robes. Everyone was concerned about the shark's predicament


Friends were asking to see the video of the little white we saw in the tide pools. Their children surf in the area, and I think most of us surf or swim in these waters too, so yes, it does give pause. I can't say whether I've decided to be freaked out about it or not. I guess I am not worried, which is not the same as saying "no biggie." I don't surf, or swim very far out. After witnessing a little blood experiment conducted in a shark tank by my brother, I can firmly say I would never swim while bleeding.


I am not the type of person that is comforted by statistics... more people are killed by bee stings etc... that sort of information only serves to make worry about more things, different things. Never bother me with replacing one risk for another; it only compounds fears. Truthfully, I could muster more alarm and panic seeing a swarm of media sharks move in and spread out... that was a feeding frenzy!





This was the final and successful attempt to get the shark back in the open water. I think that it is sweet to hear William remarking about this making 'an interesting blog post.' He knows my thoughts so well. Believe me, Chickenblog is a family effort that involves all of us in some capacity.

11:12 a.m.
Meanwhile, on the home front, things are starting to shape up. We have made inroads, sorted, reduced, diverted, recycled, dusted and spruced. The landlord inspection commences Saturday at 9 a.m., and despite frequent bouts of procrastination, mingled with depression and angst, the house is beginning to look respectable. As I cleared the dining table from breakfast, a thought bubbled to the surface: We should go out to eat, so the kitchen stays clean. No, we should stay in a hotel and go out to eat; that's the secret to keeping the house unlived-in clean. And finally, my mind produced this ultimate gem: We should move out of here. Then it would be really, really clean. Crap... I am procrastinating again.

1:11 p.m.
Paid bills. Served lunch. And hounded Alex. He needs to finish his wiring diagram. He is entering the science fair with a robot-remote controlled vehicle he has been working on. Last night he finished his report, and this morning he added the finishing touches to the illustration he made of parallel wiring. Do you know about parallel wiring? Tomorrow Alex will post on Chickenblog. And tonight we will all be at his home-school center to see Alex demonstrate his creation. All, except for Geoff, who is deeply immersed in crunch mode and working 7 days a week and coming home long after my bedtime.

After the science fair, energy permitting, I will hustle over to Linda's house for a bit of MNO... something I have not had much of this year. This means driving from point A to point D for the science fair, then driving back to point A and dropping off the boys. If Maria is still awake, she and I will head to point C for the company of friends. Point B is the place between Points A, C, and D where I stop and ask myself What is the meaning of life, and where am I going?

This may be point B: I seem to be avoiding something... must clean, must clean...

Some Mothering

Easter Monday


Tasty, tasty Easter grapes.
We spent the morning with Izzy and Nick, Holly and Rich. My Mommy is staying with us, after her stay in Pasadena helping her sister and mom, so she came too. Holly and Rich are exceptional hosts. I am having yet another giggle at my own expense... thinking of what a full house they had with neighbors, friends and family over for brunch and an egg hunt. I have to remind myself that we make it a crowd when we arrive with 7 people!


Earlier, the children went in to our backyard to wish Joe, the rabbit, a Happy Easter and that's when they found their baskets. Baskets with Legos and a little chocolate bunny and the traditional pack of underwear. Such a thoughtful E. Bunny. Maria's basket had "Goodnight Gorilla."


For a few years I have been aware of how shy and elusive Nick can be when I come around with my camera, so I was pleased to catch him unaware. He was enjoying a quiet moment during the party.


I heard Rich telling friends about Izzy's passion for chocolate. I think her appetite was well satisfied, and you can see she is still enjoying a last smack of chocolate goodness.


Speaking of goodness, this carrot cake came out pretty good. Max thinks I need to work on my carrot decorations... true, but I thought they were pretty convincing. The best part is that we have food dye that is derived from real life edible plants and not petroleum junk. Thank you Seelect. Many years ago I fell in love with a carrot cake, Janice's carrot cake. Oh, it was so yummy and good. To compensate for not decorating for Easter, for not holding my arms wide open to welcome Spring in to our house, I got it in to my head to bake The Carrot Cake. Janice kindly shared the recipe and we agreed it is slightly rich. (rich = full of fat and sugar) So, I got cocky. (cocky = I can adapt the recipe and make it healthier) Being cocky in the kitchen, with a dish intended to be shared at an Easter brunch, is very risky. No one wants a dry, tasteless cake... a too healthy cake, during a holiday extravaganza, may not be too satisfying.

I only modified 2 parts, and next time I am going to take it a step further and reduce the oil to just 1 cup. The results were very well received, and the real test was that I liked it a lot. I am sure it isn't a recipe that falls under the heading of Health Food, but it is delicious.

Janice and Natalie's Carrot Cake

3 cups grated carrots
2 cups sugar
1.5 1.25 cups of oil
4 eggs

Stir these ingredients together. And I am thinking that next time I my go to 1 cup of oil and maybe add more carrot or even some zucchini.

2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup of walnuts
1/2 cup of oatmeal (I like the old fashioned kind)

Sift the dry ingredients together and then mix in the nuts. The oatmeal was something I added. I love oatmeal. Next time I will probably make it a full cup, especially if I increase the carrots. Start adding the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir 'em up. I did this by hand, since I did not want to over-mix the batter.

Choose a favorite cake pan, and I lightly oiled mine, and bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit. A cook time would be helpful, I know, but I don't have one. Expect it to take more than half an hour... it will smell good and an inserted knife will come out clean... you'll know when it's done.

Frosting
I am not capable of following directions. Something in me must resist. So even though Janice gave me her perfectly tasty recipe, by the time I was ready to frost the cake, I just made it up.

1 stick of butter
8 oz of cream cheese + a healthy scoop of some leftover whipped cream cheese we had leftover from breakfast
a largish, perhaps 2, teaspoons of vanilla
powdered sugar... more than you want to admit, less than a box... I did not make it very sweet.

I whipped all of this together, and set some aside to turn orange and then frost the cool cake. The carrots looked even less like carrots until I topped them with celery greens!

Well, that was our Easter. Enjoying a beautiful day, laughing with family, making new friends. We came home for a quiet evening and we watched Live From Lincoln Center, "Madama Butterfly." Now it is Easter Monday, a warm day with a blue sky and errands to run and chores to complete. How was your Easter?

Carrots and Honey
Last night I ate carrots cooked in honey. It was a suggestion from Maria B. to Janice R., to cook the baby carrots with a bit of honey. I wonder how much exactly. I have carrots and honey. I even have a ham, and Janice R.'s amazing carrot cake recipe, and somewhere in the garage I have a packed box full of Easter decorations and Spring touches. I could go on for a long bit about Easter and how it catches me off-guard and unprepared most every year, fortunately I have labels, including an "Easter" category of past posts, so no need. It's all been said before. I really do try. I try to plan and clean and decorate and I even imagine going to church, but somehow my efforts fall short. Last year, probably around 4th of July, when I packed all of the Easter bunnies, baskets and egg decor, I really believed I was packing for another move. I did not think we would still be here. Not that we had a plan or even much hope, so I guess it's just a habit. It makes me sad how I dread holidays, even my favorites. Gad. I wasn't going to do this. Carrots cooked in honey is really very nice.


Maria and Jordan riding the ottoman, sister cowgirls of the living-range. I found this pair of feathered $1.87 bonnets at a thrift shop in Madison, Wisconsin. I love Willy Street and St. Vincent's. I love discovering an unexpected treasure and seeing it open up a new world for someone. I need to grab my camera again, the next time Maria is brandishing the inflatable sword, and wearing her brother's leather belt and her purple pirate hat. William says she appears in his room, dressed in her piratey garb, and thunders pirate words... Oooh arggh! I'm a pirate!

It's Morning
I think by now our plight is on the national news... our news is local only and we can't get enough. Nothing changes minute to minute, but I hang on every word, waiting for any update, anxiously.

We are safe... the animals too. We packed some basics and headed for Holly and Rich's, where the air is much clearer and the fire seems far less likely to spread. My friends? I don't know... some have certainly been evacuated, some I know have homes in the burn areas. Even where there is no fire, smoke and air quality conditions are horrible and it's almost impossible to comprehend how close the fire is. They do know it's burning straight to the beaches, with no containment.

Containment: The fire is circled.
Controlled: The fire is getting put out.

I know Rachel A. called our home last night and talked to Geoff (left a message?) I hope she's with her dog, in a safe place. We have a lot of friends from school that we are thinking of and worried about.

Yes, Geoff is still at the house. Yes, I am worried. No, he's not in immediate-super-extra danger. You may be wondering What the @#$! is he doing there? I can't explain it, but this morning, looking at the latest map and evacuation mandates, all I could think or feel was a huge compulsion to go home and stand my ground. It makes no sense.

Have I ever posted about my super powers of navigation? Geoff calls me his Nativigator. My mind is mapping every street, canyon, ridge, creek valley and neighborhood, and I have a good memory for the last two fires that had us evacuating our homes... uh, did I have a point? I guess I am just keenly aware of how bad this situation is.

It would touch your heart to see the things the boys brought, the things they wanted to bring, the things they tried to protect before he left Garage Mahal. They loaded our photo albums. I brought important papers, pillows and blankets, some quilts. The cats, bunny and bird are with us. Last night, as I was looking for diapers in the car, I saw the boys had packed Alex's yearbook painting, a 1948 publication of "Cheaper By The Dozen," their homework!... such dedication. This is the 3rd time I leave my house in the path of a firestorm and What to Bring? is still a weird, disturbing and surreal challenge. I follow the disaster preparedness checklist So Cal residents keep handy, but trust me, there is a great deal that becomes overwhelming and emotionally stressful. I left my ironed, folded fabric! My engagement ring is still packed somewhere in the garage. I know, I know... family is the most important, things can be replaced... or can they? This is not as easy in practice as it is in theory.

Anne, where are you guys? I called your place before we left, and I assume you guys have headed out. Linda, Josie, Betsy, Susan, Jola and Mark, Julie G., James and Deanne, Belinda? Hey friends. You are in my prayers. Prayers for everyone. Prayers and concern going out to our firefighters, law enforcement, volunteers. Doug and Blanca... stay safe, God bless you.

And one more thing... tonight I am MNO host. On the menu: Chilled wine, maybe some Margaritas, albondigas and hot corn tortillas as an appetizer and then chile rellenos for the main course. Dessert? Chocolate brownie cake. Mom's Night Out sisters, this is the first MNO that won't happen and that we'll never forget! Let's have a make-up night as soon as possible... we'll go straight to the wine and dessert!

Leave comments. Get in touch. It's good to hear other news.

Life & Details, and a Master Quilter


We are delighting in Maria's growth. She says so many things, sharing her thoughts and views. She draws. She paints. She carries books and a flashlight and persuades people to read to her. She pages through magazines, intent and absorbed. She packs her bags with a strange assortment of housewares and odds and ends, then carries her belongings like an embarking explorer. She carries her baby on her shoulders, just the way she likes to ride, and she sighs and says, "Whew, heavy baby."



Anne thought she was too busy to play, and yet look who found time to make a doll quilt! This was a quicker project than her first quilt, and for a much different purpose. It is a Cat Doll Quilt and made with love for her Patrick kitty. I got to see it up close when she hosted Mom's Night Out. It's a comfy, cozy, charming cat quilt. Come on Anne, you know you want to make one for Toby...

She asked me to bring the amazing creations sent to me by Kim, of "Calamity Kim's Craft Cottage" and I was happy to oblige. It's fun showing people all the great details of Kim's work... they were impressed!

And you can almost see just a peek of Anne's beautiful backyard, oh, and she's wearing her hostess apron, because we kept her busy cooking and serving her delicious Finger Foods of the World! I love it when other people cook and invite me to eat. Seriously, isn't it wonderful?


Since I have come to terms with the fact that housecleaning is a pointless endeavor, that I am no good at in the first place, I have freed up time for other pointless pursuits that actually amuse me and make me happy, like sewing. tee hee. So, I have been doing a little applique-quilting-cross-stitched quilt. What is it called when you add batting beneath and stitch around it to give it a 3-D effect? No, not obsessive.


It looks cute. Maria said so and I believe her.


One more work in progress... a special gift for some dear friends. Shh! It's a secret.

Now that I have shown the silly things I do when the children are looking for dinner and there are no clean socks... I would like to share a new masterpiece from Grandma Nancy, Geoff's grandmother in Wisconsin:


This is a quilt. (I apologize for the poor image quality. It's a photo of a photo)
She uses her fabric to depict a painting of an artist at work on a painting. Please follow this link to see the Dega she quilted; it's amazing.

We have, at long last, booked a flight to Wisconsin, so that next month we can see Grandma Nancy and her beautiful quilts. We haven't been there in a long time, so there will be lots to catch up on and to introduce Maria to, like Aunt Carol and cousin Sophie and Jordan and Griffin, and the Creek, the bakery, the lake, farms and barns, pasty, and maybe we'll go to the zoo, State Street, Ella's Deli...

We are going to have so much fun!

Anne... Anne... what's all this about being busy... too busy? I think I found a quilt we could make. It's all about the gorgeous fabrics and makng the quilt simple enough to show off the patterns and colors of the fabric, rather than being overwhelmed with cutting and piecing. And I have seen these Freshcut Fabrics in real life and they are amazing. Wouldn't it be exquisite to throw our bold, beautiful quilts on the Tuscan soil, glance back at the villa, and drink wine, while the children chase butterflies and write in their journals?

Maybe the server will disappear Chickenblog and I won't be able to post: Happy Mother's Day...
So, Happy Mother's Day!

My boys already started showering me with gifts and affection, like the tiles Max painted. Alex read me a poem. There was a sweet school luncheon, with flowers and beautiful music. Tomorrow I just want to be with my family and anything else will be a welcome bonus ( and I do welcome bonuses!)

Love to all the Moms and Grandmoms and women who care and love like mothers. Love to all the girls, the daughters, the sisters. Love to the men, the boys and brothers, the sons and fathers. Mother's day touches us all. It's the intermingling of all of us and the expressions of our love and respect that make this day and all days special.

Busy, busy. Fun, fun.

I want to post today, because I have plenty to share, but because there is so much going on I feel too scattered and flakey to sit down, focus and produce.

Went to a party for MNO,
so big, so fun, so full
of laughter, spirit, light.

Expecting return of
traveling in-laws,
waiting to hear news,
see what's next.

Planning our own
escape
from work and school
and laundry, at home.

Downloading 347
photographs, memories,
sights and sounds,
like 80's music

Composing movies
in my head,
on my apple
and it consumes
my senses, neurons,
terabytes.

Cleaning, dieting,
walking,
mother, girlfriend,
me,
busy me, riding the
suburban wave in
my American Dream.

Janice's over the top French onion soup!

This is a foodie post. No. It's actually about love, and play. Or, really it's about friends and laughter... Last night was Mom's Night Out. We are well in to our tenth year of monthly dinners and exchanges of love, laughter and support. I've posted before about the fabulous meals we serve, and the generous spirit that circulates in our special group. Funny, I was certain that I've written about how MNO started. Having the archives labeled is such a blessing, because I was easily able to look back and see that I never did explain where and when Mom's Night Out began...


Josie and Belinda

Once upon a time Belinda was meeting a lot of interesting women, and including her friends, she realized there was never enough time to really enjoy an uninterrupted and pleasant discourse with any of these friends and would be friends. She knew a number of women living in her town, with children of the same age and she wondered whether these women would like to meet regularly, leaving children and daily responsibilities at home. Belinda sent off invitations to her friends and acquaintances for dinner and a craft in her home. She jokes now that her menu may have scared off a few of the prospects; she served alcohol, cooked the main course with alcohol and the dessert too, coincidentally called for alcohol. Bottoms up! Some of us were nursing babies and others were craft-phobic, but something clicked and we fell easily in to conversations and exchanges about child-rearing, good books, good recipes, schools, vacations, and connections. We probably each had some doubts about how we would find the time to get out of our busy homes and lives and meet every month.


Maria

Belinda invited her neighbors Anne Z., and Josie. She knew me from when I was a neighbor on the same street. She was friends with Karen through a shared baby-siitter (gee, I hope I'm getting this all right,) and Karen suggested inviting her friend Yanina. Linda knew Belinda from their Colorado days, and Linda invited her neighbor Anne L.. I thought Jola would love to come join the fun. Later, Linda introduced us to Janice, who was very eager to join us, and then Janice and Anne L.'s new neighbor Maria came along. Most recently Linda invited her new neighbor Vera.


Last night's hostess, Janice

Is that everyone? Some have come and gone, some drop by on occasion, and we are by no means an exclusive group. We love meeting new people. Well, to make a short story long: Belinda's idea worked. We meet every month in a different home. The hostess makes a ridiculously sumptuous feast and lays out her best dishes (sometimes borrowed, sometimes mix and match: it's all good!) We have seen each other through some very sad and challenging chapters, and we have enjoyed many celebrations too. Lately we are sharing our experiences with having first time drivers under our roofs, and Josie has already seen her first son through the college applications marathon. We have a lot in common and we have our difference too, which is one reason I think we enjoy and benefit from each other's company. The unique perspectives, the varying strengths and insights make for a rich network of caring and loving women.


Anne and Yanina

Last night we were in Janice's home. We're all asking, "What was she thinking?!" She is raising three very busy children and she works too, then she decides to make this elaborate feast for us, worrying about getting the house clean and weeding the yard! We were served 3 different appetizers... delicious! Maria and her girls made the phyllo brie delicacies. Anne helped set the table. Janice's son Nate ironed the table cloth; go Nate! Janice was busy grilling fresh halibut, making salad, and preparing asparagus. She served the halibut over a fresh mango salsa. She served us French onion soup, that filled the house with the loveliest fragrance. Don't forget dessert; Janice never does. She served biscotti, and pretty dishes of chocolate and vanilla ice cream covered in fresh raspberries and infused raspberry sauce.




Yanina and Karen

We always insist that we'd be thrilled with pizza on paper plates. Somehow, no one ever goes the easy way. I think we enjoy giving our best to our friends. It's a pleasure cooking for and serving such an enthusiastic and appreciative group.


Linda


Jola

Janice, you dear. I had a wonderful evening, thanks to you. You know you could have ordered pizzas, or set up a Burrito Bar. I know you fretted about your yard; all I saw were these amazing masses of flowers. I love the snapdragons. I am hosting in October. I'm sure I will panic about house cleaning and menu options. I will threaten to break with tradition and serve everyone mac and cheese with turkey hot dogs, but I may know what you were thinking, when you went out of your way to do your best for us. It feels good to honor our friends and show them how much we care about their happiness and health, through the good food we prepare and share, by the fresh cut flowers we set on our tables and the thoughtful touches we add to the evening. It feels good extending our love, because MNO never fails to give us more in return. More laughter, more love, more courage, more faith, and more support. Thank you Janice. Thank you to all the women who have served and cared and shared in MNO.


Yanina and Karen


Maria

Can't you hear that rooster crowin'?
Rabbit runnin' down across the road
Underneath the bridge where the water flowed through
So happy just to see you smile
Underneath the sky of blue
On this new morning, new morning
On this new morning with you.

Can't you hear that motor turnin'?
Automobile comin' into style
Comin' down the road for a country mile or two
So happy just to see you smile
Underneath the sky of blue
On this new morning, new morning
On this new morning with you.

The night passed away so quickly
It always does when you're with me.

Can't you feel that sun a-shinin'?
Ground hog runnin' by the country stream
This must be the day that all of my dreams come true
So happy just to be alive
Underneath the sky of blue
On this new morning, new morning
On this new morning with you.

So happy just to be alive
Underneath the sky of blue
On this new morning, new morning
On this new morning with you.
New morning . . .

Bob wrote it. The words are stirring my heart to embrace this first day of Spring, and listening to Liz and Lisa sing the lyrics my head is nearly convinced that this really could be a new morning. Not much has changed or improved. Children are still coughing and Geoff has left for work, but Maria is dancing and it tickles my soul to see her turn and spin, to see her smile. Could it be? Could this be the day that all of my dreams come true? Let’s just say, I am feeling mighty receptive.

I am at it again, browsing through my photographs. I posted photos from 2003 last time and today I want to add a few more. Slowly, I am developing a concept in my mind that may eventually be a catalyst for action: I should print photographs, frame them and hang them on the walls, then I could see beautiful faces and enjoy happy memories throughout my day. It is an idea too large to fully grasp in one sitting. In the meantime, I will play here, from the comfy chair.

And now it is autumn and we are still living in our lovely El Rancho... where the chickens and children play.

Diego is still so alive in my heart that I can see him stretching, like he is here, and I just want to snuggle his furry scruff.

I have never known a more mellow, tender, sweet, loving kitty. He rode everywhere in our car, happily snoozing on anyone's lap, and he liked to be carried in baskets or boxes. Yet in spite of all this kitty kindness, he gave the biggest stink eye of all time.

Janece is inspiring me to look at myself. She is taking a self portrait every day for 365 days. I think we have similar issues of about self-image. I do have some photographs of Me, like this one of me blogging. Naturally I like it better than most, because I think I showered that day, or something. (Again, with the self deprecating humor. Janece, how's your project going?)

Here's my William. He's been writing summaries of Huck Finn. He never wants to write and he insists 'it's hard' and he's 'no good.' But he is good. He is a very good writer; better than I was at his age. I think it may have something to do with his quiet, reflective way of absorbing details, making observations. I can see it in his intent gaze.

Max may be a writer someday too, or if not, someone should follow him around and take notes on every thing he says.

This is from October of 2003, so we must have been celebrating Jacob's birthday. Jacob and Adam are friends of William, Alex and Max, and Anne and I are friends, since the start of MNO. I just love seeing a snapshot of friends and being reminded that I have history and connections.

I started the day brightly eager to spring forward. This picture makes me pause and cry, because I miss my feathered chicas so much. This was the last time I was with Gracie and her sister hens, Luna and Rosie. Lately, I worry that my memory of the chicas has become inflated and grand, and that having hens again, if I ever can, will not be as sweet as I make believe. Was it only a dream?

Alex remembers the chicas. And I remember Alex, living at El Rancho, planting his guavas, digging around, growing and exploring. He's part farmer too, I think; just like me.

Now, this is cooking. Don't think this is camp cooking or roughing it. This is my uncle Gilberto making breakfast at the family ranch, Ojo de Agua, in Mexico. I will have an outdoor kitchen again some day. Will you come and eat hot corn tortillas with me?

If ever I do get around to hanging photographs I will be sure to include scenes from the ranches and farms of my youth, the places I dream of and long to return to.

And then I can gaze happily at horses, cows, and chickens, gardens, fields and skies.

Make a list of five or more things you would like to be doing right now, and if it doesn't include 'riding around the country in the bed of a truck,' then you may be missing out. I would love to be riding in the back of an old truck, especially with my sweetheart.

I know that all four of you that read Chickenblog are sick of hearing about the heat... except Tarie, who is surviving Philippine winter. But what else can I write about? I've had my second shower of the day, and one hour after my last shower I am sweat soaked and funky. Gross! But most of you know what I mean, because the whole continent seems to be suffering the same cruel fate. Hot. Hot. Hot. Thank God we aren't in Phoenix, or Barstow or even ten miles east of here. Last night our house was 88 degrees! Blecchh...

Tonight is MNO, and it's an invite to swim and dine. If your swim suit was so old that it was frayed in the butt what would you do? Too late to shop. Should I pull up Geoff's trunks and cinch the cord under my arms? Should I sit demurely, and decline a dip in Yanina's deep, cool pool? Sigh. There's more to this topic than I care to admit.

Oy. I want to say something deep and meaningful here, but sweat has seeped in to my skull and shorted-out brain connections.

Surprise!

Mom's Night Out comes once a month, but a fiftieth birthday is once in a lifetime, so it needs to be played up properly: With love, humor, and friends, Janice was the guest of honor at Jola's last night when we celebrated "Janice's Fabulous 50s." Some of us dressed the part with bobby socks and ponytails, all of us enjoyed the laughter, good company and great food that typically comes with MNO. A few new faces were with us, more of Janice's friends, including Tracy, Jenny and Judy (Ahem... no one is home to confirm, and I did have two Margaritas last night, so I hope I am remembering the names correctly.) Jola rolled out the Rock and Roll carpet complete with Damask napkins, 50s tunes, fresh flowers and a banquet feast (including those Margaritas I mentioned.)


Janice, Linda, Jenny and Tracy.


VGs makes a tasty 50s style cake with raspberry filling


Jola consulted with Dan, so she could serve Janice all her favorites, like salmon, asparagus, and pear salad.


Anne, our fearless leader on aging with strength, grace and discount savings, introduces Janice to AARP.


Looks like Janice is making a good wish. I know we all wish her a very happy birthday, and fifty more!

Bloomin'

Tonight I am the Mom's Night Out hostess, which means I have time only for cooking and cleaning. I don't have enough time for cooking and cleaning... but there are also a lot of great pictures to post and interesting things to share.

Okay... we really like Halloween around here, and this year I wanted the boys to put creative effort in to their costumes. We were experimenting with paper mache and Alex made himself armor. He then painted scorpions on each shoulder plate. He drew and cutout a scorpion stencil for his shirt, which he painted red. The costume was LEGO themed in honor of the Shadow Knight. Max gathered all the black and skeletal details he could find to be a fearsome skeleton. He was quite scary. Maria made a fetching flower...



Alex wanted to be at Legoland for their annual Halloween Contest and after the effort he put in to his costume we thought we should oblige him... so yesterday two scary boys and one little flower got up on a stage with about 100 other enthusiastic children and posed before a panel of judges. There were a lot of good and creative costumes, but there could only be 5 winners. "Funniest" was a little girl with an old lady wig and cowgirl boots, a witch's hat and huge glasses. She was cute and original. Most "Imaginative" went to the Lord of the Rings Elf; he was complete with arrows and ears. There was a prize for the boy that came as a LEGO brick, and the overall best costume was for a girl dressed as a candy vending machine. Her costume was quite original. Alex and Max made a very scary duo, and Alex was voted most scary of all! Alex is still beaming with pride. We all feel like winners; Lego gave very generous prizes.


Funny and charming.


Alex was surprised to hear his name called.


Pride. He earned his prize.


3 winners.


... there's more to share, but I better get back in the kitchen.

Someone posted a comment on a friend's blog: 'another mommyblog... blah, blah, blah.' Harsh. There are people like that; people that dismiss what they don't understand, people that choose to ridicule what they have no appreciation for. And what is the point of criticizing something you don't know about or even have the interest to learn about?

Of course it still made me feel self-conscious about my Mommyblog. Am I 'blah, blah, blah?' Maybe yes. Maybe I am only thinking out loud, or taking meticulous notes about the daily rituals and passages in a mundane life. The state of my hamper is not nearly as compelling as the suspense of watching the housing bubble inflate, or debating the pros and cons of boycotting France. I rarely spare my time to ponder the lyrics of the latest rap artist or to rant over the overexposure of Brad and Angelina.

I wonder... if more of us took care of our own children, our own spouses, our own gardens, our neighbors and friends, and if we focused on compassion and encouragement... I wonder if life wouldn't be a bit nicer? I don't mean mindless-smileyfaced nice, but nice in a considerate, thoughtful, and supportive way. Nice in a way that friends in need feel they can turn to us for help. Nice in a way that a discouraged child knows that love at home is unconditional. Nice in the way that camping in your own backyard is an adventure delightful enough to make your summer vacation the best ever.

I want to think and write about the greater world, but right now I am a Mommy, and I mean to immerse myself in my Mommy life. Mommies have influence and power, great responsibility and tremendous potential for making life nice. Mommyblogs are for families and friends, for people in similar circumstances and drawing on each other for encouragement, inspiration, humor, for sharing experiences great and small.

Maria is sleeping. She is content and cute. William is working on his homework for his programming class. Alex, Max and their friend Adam are checking out the robot Alex and Geoff have been building. And I am getting ready to make lunch. It's a nice day.

Hats off to Belinda for another sweet and satisfying night out with the moms.

Rain kept me from horse riding, but no amount of rain, sleet, hail or snow could keep me from Mom's Night Out. B was our host last night. Her home is the place to be for a sunset dinner with friends... beautiful! We get together once a month and the timing always feels like "just in time." I look forward to the laughter and insights, the support, and the luxury of being fed and served by a friend happily giving her best. From the moment the invitation is opened I always know something special is coming and the feeling carries through from the first welcome hug to the last goodnight.

It was nice catching up, hearing the news. Linda insists we need to visit Costa Rica, and from her descriptions I am convinced we should go. We must prepare a cancer-free celebration for Janice. The five year mark comes in October. When I think of the fears and worries we felt, it makes me want to release an arm waving, joyous victory shout in her honor. There's more. And for a long moment I was looking around the table, and thinking of each of these women, including the three that couldn't make it last night, and I was in total awe. These women are exceptionally awe inspiring. Their work and play, their art and aspirations, dedication, devotion, generosity, kindness, accomplishments, skills... all of it is remarkable. It could be a little intimidating, but these women aren't competing, they are inspiring. They were sharing the depths and heights of their gifts and love. As I watched and listened, I felt the blessing of knowing them and it was a pleasure to hear more about their children, their plans, their dreams, their achievements.

Vera was our Mom's Night Out host last night.
She had us come to her writer's studio on 101, where we were favored with red and white wine, sparkling lemonade, and a delicious catered dinner. This is my artsy no-flash photo of the evening. Outside a light drizzle, made the warmth of the company inside all the more enjoyable.


Maria O' was in good arms all evening. Here she is with Linda and Janice.

Some occasions simply cannot be skipped. Mom's Night Out is a must, and MNO at Josie's is an absolute must.
It felt very good introducing Papaya to all her Moms.



Of course every girl that parties late must sleep-in late.

What do you name a Super Baby?
And how do you thank your best friends for nine years, and more, of support, encouragement, enthusiasm, laughter, butt wipes and purple baby wash? Karen hosted a perfect evening for Mom's Night Out, with an added bonus Welcome theme for our girl baby. And I do mean Our Girl, because I can see that she will be everyones' new baby to cuddle and hold, and to lavish with heaps of love. I never doubt that I have an awesome network of family and friends, but the shower was a huge reflection, once again, of their generosity and thoughtfulness. For the occasion, my mom, Holly and Deanne joined us too; a great treat.

Time to produce some thank you cards, return the love. I am already editing a DVD, "Waiting for Papaya." I want Papaya to see how much anticipation and joy surrounded her arrival. Janice's children, Maddie, Nate and Lydia covered a gift in dozens and dozens of girl names, rainbows, flowers and hearts, and a Super Baby. It is the most awesome gift wrapping ever. And Yanina gave us a work of art too. She painted dazzling butterflies with luminous wings. I have always loved the colors, light and reflective joy she projects in her paintings and I feel profoundly honored to have something she made for our baby in our home. I came home with all we might need to keep a baby content, looking good and feeling fresh, from a snot sucker and wipe warmer, to booties and purple athletic wear. I also brought home renewed confidence, hope, and wonderful memories.

Greetings from General Hospital, where the cooties are wrecking havoc, and I, nurse Diesel, am administering soup, affection and tissue. The boys are coughing and looking bleary eyed. They drag themselves to their math books... wait, that is typical, not symptomatic... Max is the worst off. He has a fever and has thrown up several times. He even sleeps during the day, which is a definite and dramatic symptom. Alex is probably next in the triage line up; he is moody and coughs a lot. William is moody too, but again, this may not be a symptom of the virus, but his age. It seemed time to call on an expert, so I took Max to the pediatrician. For my efforts and a $30 co-pay, I was informed that Max is sick, he should rest and get plenty of fluids. Brilliant deduction Doctor, thank you. It's worth it, I suppose, because to skip the doctor visit is to invite horrible infection and 6 hours at Children's Hospital ER, where on-call doctors and tired nurses will give you the "bad mother glare."

I just met Rick, the UPS delivery guy. He brought the special order, dye free cough suppressant Geoff ordered for Max.

Sigh. Thank goodness for Mom's Night Out. Our monthly gathering always comes just in time, so that I can enjoy the company of my very best friends, eat fabulous food and laugh a lot. They boost me. It was a wonderful evening. I for sure will go to great lengths to not miss a get together, which is why I am in suspense about December's get together at Josie's. Papaya is due either the 9th or 10th, depending on which chart you read, and Josie is hosting MNO on the 3rd of December. Suddenly, my interest in the delivery date is overshadowed by the thought that I could easily miss the Christmas party! Well, if Papaya hasn't already arrived, I will cross my legs for good luck and hope to spend another reenergizing and uplifting night out with the Moms.

Next month's MNO is being hosted by Karen, and the theme is "Baby Shower." I don't want anyone to see my reservations as a lack of interest; the real issue is feeling shy about being the focus of so much attention, and feeling spectacularly blessed, which makes me feel even more shy. Of course, if this were for anyone else I would be thrilled to be participating, and I would be very excited about the prospect of shopping for a pink baby, and if the mother were reluctant or shy, I would say, "It's not about you. We want a party!" Parties are fun, and surprises, presents and thoughtful gestures are delightful. I feel like I should send out thank you cards now, just because they are even thinking of showering us.

I remember Geoff's family had a surprise shower for us when we were expecting our first baby. We had just moved to the midwest, and we were about 6 months along, and probably feeling overwhelmed. We were enjoying the support and the thoughtful gifts. Typically, I think showers are enjoyed by the mothers more than the fathers, but we received one gift that really perked Geoff up. In a diaper pail came a gift certificate for 1 month of diaper service. I gave sincere thanks, but Geoff was beaming and ecstatic. He expressed deep, profound and undying thankfulness. He said things like, "Wow. I just can't believe this! I had no idea they could do this." And after a bit, I began to wonder if he knew what "diaper service" is. It was really hard breaking the news to him: Diaper service is not a person coming to the house to change the baby's diaper for you. Bummer.

One satisfactory result of the train delay was that I was able to go to Moonlight Beach for Mom's Night Out. We missed Jola, Josie and Vera. And they missed a beautiful sunset, and a huge buffet of delicious food. I was tempted to pull up a thesaurus and find another word for food; a word with more praise and awe for the wonderful variety of tasty, healthy and generous dishes we shared. There were a great variety of salads and fresh fruits, and Yanina's sandwiches and even a Combo pizza from Costco, which is always savory and welcome.

We talked about the last days of summer and the first days of school. We sat comfortably in our chairs and wiggled our toes in the sand. Anne and Yanina had been swimming. Karen brought lots of wood for a fire. Janice had the good dessert sense to come with graham crackers, marshmallows and decadently thick chunks of chocolate; she sacrificed some hangers, and with expert roasting tips from Maria, we forged ahead! Even after the sun had dipped, the light from beyond our horizon made art in the clouds. We sat around the fire and felt the comfort and warmth that keep our friendships glowing.

Grandma Nancy's Garden Quilt

Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to my mom, and Geoff's mom, to our grandmothers, and aunts, to the women who've loved us and cared for us and contributed to our lives. Geoff and I have this amazing wealth of mothers in our lives. We have had the special blessing of knowing our own mothers, as well as our grandmothers, and even great grandmothers. I have dear aunts who have nurtured and encouraged me, and family friends, such caring women, that they were mothers too. My own mother gave me life and sustained me; she also made room in my world for a million experiences and opportunities from other women, other perspectives. This has been enriching, like a tapestry, or quilt that is of many pieces but bound to together by thoughtful gestures and secure threads. All the moms we have known have made us better, happier, and more beautiful. I hope that our lives and our deeds are a respectful and gracious reflection of the love those women have given us.

And I would like to thank all the moms, the caring women in our lives, that enrich my own children's lives. You make my life better, and you make the lives of my sons better. Thank you for your thoughtful gestures, gifts, kind encouragement, patience, and support. Thank you for reminding them to say "thank you." Thank you for knowing their strengths, as well as their weaknesses, and accepting them wholly. Thank you for sharing your skills and points of view, your time and love. We appreciate you very much.

Thanks, I needed that. Mom's Night Out came just in time, as usual. I was so tired and stressed, that I had almost convinced myself to skip it, but Geoff gently persuaded. It wasn't fun trying to explain our latest life chapter, but the delicious food, soft lighting, and supportive, encouraging circle of good friends helped. Of course they couldn't really be good friends if they were 100% in agreement with us moving from the Rancho, and possibly to a remote Pacific Island, the Midwest, Canada or even just our RV. Their surprise and disappointment were just enough to remind me that this is going to be a major adjustment. I have avoided deep thoughts on the subject of leaving behind a dozen, or more, dear friends.

Fortunately, they have wasted no time in finding solutions. Today, when we go over the offer from the prospective buyer, we must counteroffer with a higher price; sufficient to cover airline tickets for at least 10 women, annually for three years. It sounds reasonable to me. If we can't find a buyer that can make the numbers come out, then it's simply not good enough. Geoff will understand.

At some point I will have to think deeply about what it means to move away from my friends. I cannot easily say that 'I will make new friends wherever I go.' The laughter and generosity, the compassion and sincerity of love, the genuine kindness that I find in these women is wholly unique, and I had not known anything like it in my life. It's not just about sitting around with chilled wine and swapping PTA stories. We have found sisters. We have found different views and different methods, and a common desire to be in each others company in circumstances both joyful, and wrenching. Because of them, I cannot imagine moving away. Because of them, I will be able to, because they show me my own strength, and when I do not know it's there, they share their own.

I think today I am Blogging just as an excuse to sit down. It's hot, and it is humid and also very hot. If I repeat myself it is likely the heat. Please excuse me.

Our weekend was very full, and as fulfilling. Friday night's MNO and collective birthday party was very fun. We enjoy each other's company too much for it ever to be a strain or effort. Invite us, serve some wine, light some candles...we'll do the rest. We laughed all night, and ate, and swam. B had the last laugh; when we thought we were surprising her on her birthday she came with gifts for all of us. Actually we all brought presents so we could play a game of exchanging and stealing. We all went home with something special for our birthdays. It seems like we all managed to leave with something we could really use, like a book titled "My Teen is Crazy," or that we really wanted, like a pedicure gift certificate. Looking at my feet in the picture below, I think I should have stolen the gift certificate!


Belinda bought us all slippers and flip-flops!

Saturday night, family came to see the Tilili slide show that I made from the reunion. We also swam and shared dinner. It was a relaxed evening, and they contributed a wonderful salad, and quite possibly the best ever chocolate chip cookies (I could be more certain about that judgment, but I'd have to have another sample.) Cristina, my sister, finally persuaded me to drag out my four boxes of neglected beads. They really were in a pitiful state. She couldn't resist organizing them for me, and I promised to keep them sorted and tidy until they can be put in to baggies. She went way beyond the call of duty, and I am grateful.

By Sunday I realized that I had all the makings for chile rellenos, and those always taste better when shared. I called Anne and Dave, Adam and Jacob, and they obliged us by coming to swim, and eat rellenos and beans, and papaya with lime. Mmmmmm. The pool felt wonderful in the early evening. Dave brought his camera, which is like ours. He uses the movie feature on the camera, and now I want to play with it too. I fully expect him to keep learning all about our camera, so he can pass his vast wealth of knowledge on to me.

Apart from all our fun with family and friends we are continuing to apply our sweat and imagination to our Rancho. We have always wanted a fountain to fill in the space at the entry, and we finally chose one, and bought it, and installed it. And the garage is completely organized and painted. The bright white walls, and all the clear corners should go a long way toward keeping down the black widow population.

Now I feel too hot even for sitting. Maybe we should watch the movie Ice Age or just get in the car and drive to the Oregon Coast, where my mother says Fall weather has already returned...

Every morning after an evening of Mom's Night Out, I think: "I gotta write about MNO, those women, our laughter and talk, the support and encouragement, the lasting friendships." Every month it's the same. We gather in a home, like Janice's last night, and we are treated to a home cooked meal, family recipes or something brand new, and always delicious, always served on our nicest dishes, our mother's china, our 'Christmas only' plates. "Delicious" doesn't reach the limit of describing the time and effort, the thoughtfulness the presentation of these beautiful meals; they are healthy and decadent, they are rich and diverse, they are the comfort foods we know and love, or something exotic that takes our hearts and minds to new places. As hostesses, we lavish on each other our nurturing and generosity, creativity and grace. It is an honor to serve, it is an honor to receive.

The company, the food, the wine, they are a pleasure to be sure, but more; they are like catalysts for our healing, learning, sharing, growing and caring. As we come together and share our worries and joys, express our views, celebrate our successes, laugh at our challenges, and find relief from our burdens, because of the thoughtful advice, the encouragement and support; we are strengthened in spirit, and comforted too. Once a month, for a few evening hours, we meet, and whether we are finishing quilts for charity at Jola's house, arranging our garden flowers on Yanina's porch, or sitting on cushions in Vera's entry and listening to flute music, it is always relaxing and energizing. And it is fulfilling too, because we allow ourselves the opportunity to treat ourselves to something new, and to extend ourselves to others as well.

MNO means an escape from our own familiar trials and chores, it means meeting friends and sharing stories and thoughts, with out interruptions, phones calls, needy children, or the buzzer on the washing machine. It gives us the opportunity to be reminded that in spite of all our concerns and set backs we are profoundly blessed. We go home to those children and appreciate them better, and see our work and tasks, and find new resolve. We are refreshed, inspired. Mom's Night Out gives us the opportunity to receive, and to return, many more blessings than we knew were possible.

Imagine the joy of having nearly a dozen sisters, and lots of nephews and nieces, brothers too! We share sitters, and painters, referals, books, and recipes; call Anne for any recipe with vegetables. We coach each others' children, like Maria does for Lydia and Maddie. In the heat of Summer Linda, Josie and Janice share their pools, cold drinks and sumptuous desserts. Those times when our children are splashing and laughing together, and our husbands are by our sides, sharing our company, are some of the best. Also in the heat of Summer, Karen shares her garden's bounty and we all go home with bunches and bunches of fragrant basil. By Fall we have come full circle, to the home of the woman who brought us together in the first place, and Belinda, as always, opens her home to us with beauty and warmth.

When I woke up this morning I tormented my husband, describing the fresh shrimp and pasta we ate for dinner, and not one salad, but two, the loveliness of the candles and flowers, the chocolate pudding cake. He asked about Josie, "Is she doing better?" "She looks great. I think she is doing much better," I say, and we sigh together. Thank God. He reaches for my hand; he tells me about our boys and their evening together. I tell him about Anne's almost finished kitchen, the termites at Jola's, the fountain at Maria's. And I think to myself that I should write about Mom's Night Out, my friends and their families, the friends who have become for me like my own family. I should mention the good things they do, the way Karen's laugh makes the room light up, how Anne has become the inspiring Anne Uber-Athlete. I would include how when I was too sick to know what to do, Jola came and cared for me like a mother cares for her child; with tenderness and resolve. I have found kindness, intelligence and love in each of these women, and I have been humbled and renewed, because of all they have shared with me. It would be impossible to represent them in words; to reflect all that we have, give and receive in each other's company.

I tried to write a poem today. I looked for words that do no exist. Someone is dying. A man, father, son and husband, an acquaintance and friend. He is dear to his father and his mother. He is dear, very dear, to his wife and their daughters. And friends are praying, strangers too, because for us he is dear too. And I can't find the words that do justice to the suffering, that reflect the effort and the love that pours forth in hopes of sustaining his life.

Every word seems to crash down; too weak to sustain the mass and volume of our grief and our sympathy for the ones who know the pain too intimately. Every word pales in comparison with the daily reality that this man has withstood, and that his wife, his true partner, has endured. It is frustrating trying to condense a lifetime in to a paragraph, or trying to summarize sympathy and hope, caring and fear with metaphors, or phrases, aspiring to write something so sincerely comforting that pain subsides and strength is renewed. I long to say the right thing, do the right thing; I seek the words that reflect profound caring.

Please pray for Dave. Please pray for his family. Please pray for someone, anyone. Please answer my prayer; give a hug, serve a meal, send a letter, praise an unsuspecting stranger, search for those elusive words that console our hearts and renew our strength. Even when we cannot preserve someone's life, we must endeavor to comfort and uplift our souls.