Con Dios


Gracias abuelo.

Recordando días y noches en la iglesia...
Mas crecer en la gracia, y en el conocimiento de nuestro Señor y Salvador Jesucristo.
A él sea la gloria hoy, y para siempre. Amen.
2 Pedro 3:18

Recordando su voz, y su cariño. Recordando el campo, El Valle, Ojo de Agua, y su poder...
Te adoro abuelo.

Thank Goodness For Gardens, Water and Light


My mommy was going to be here today, for my brothers' and son's birthdays and for a promotion, for hugs and catching up, before she had to go back to Oregon to start a new job. Sunday night we got a call/s... it's a blur. Geoff told me she'd been in an accident, "She's okay." That's what we have to hear to save us from collapsing: She's okay. He's okay. It's okay. And considering what happened it is a miracle she is okay, though she is a long way from all better. My dad drove through the night to be with her, and my brother flew the next day. My other brother (happy birthday bro!) is going to be with her today.


Your prayers and healing thoughts would be much appreciated. For her, for me.


It's amazing how many times my mom has made the 20 hour drive, to come and see us, to help with babies, to visit and celebrate, to connect, and I always worry about those winding roads, the logging trucks, the long days... I think of how much love she has for us that she does this so regularly to see me and the kids and my brothers, their families, her mom and sister. We always wish for an opportunity to find some place where we can all be neighbors. We think it would be so wonderful to find each other in the same town or neighborhood, just around the corner, a short walk away.


It's a tremendous comfort to me that her husband is with her and caring for her. And I was glad Bill could fly up for a quick visit, to hold her hand. If she didn't have their company I would not hesitate to abandon everything and be with her. Instead I am trying to get my ducks chicks (thanks Pam!) in a row.

Fortunately we do not have to move. Garybob, the landlord, was appeased with an increase in the rent. We are still trying to make our trailer on land deal happen. It manages to get more complicated by the day. I say "I am detached," but of course that is a lie. In truth, my heart is saying Please, please, please let us make this our home. It's a mess, but we can fix it in time. Please. Please... I dunno.

So, let's see... I got the car serviced, which was a bit overdue, so that's good. Today I go to get my tooth serviced... somehow I don't think this will be as fast and easy as the oil change and tune-up. My visits with my crappy dentist of 4 years ago are haunting me again... have I ever shared the story of how he drilled through to my sinuses? He didn't say a thing and only stopped when Alex asked, "Why is my mommy bleeding so much?" Yeah, that's a good story!

There is an overwhelming amount of cannot be postponed school paper work that has to be turned in, checked-off, stamped and triple signed.

Alex's birthday is Thursday. He already knows his modest party is going to be postponed. He didn't complain at all, but I saw that look... the one that a mom always wants to turn into a smile. I can tell he's bummed.

My best friend didn't wait to be asked. She'll watch the cats, the 2 birds, the rabbit. I'll take care of the chicks. Don't ask. Seriously. I have some hard decisions to make.

I will not be driving to Chicago. For months I have been drawing up itineraries and deciding on routes, and I have also been thinking, Am I nuts?! Yes, a lot of waffling, but with strong leanings toward being with everyone in Chicago and then Wisconsin. Geoff is going and he'll be gone for a week. The children and I will be missing Geoff and a Midwest family memorial for Jim, Corm.

And in Mexico, my abuelos will have family, except for us, gathering to celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. S e v e n t y! !Setenta años¡ Felicidades abuelos.


I hope I can get those chicks in a row, tie up loose ends and be ready to leave to Santa Rosa, then Oregon, by Friday. I think my screaming tooth might be the biggest obstacle. The children are such good travelers, so helpful and easy. We'll pack the bare minimum and be prepared to go with the flow, hopefully making things easier for my mom by cooking and cleaning and renting lots of movies, adjusting pillows, pulling slugs out of her garden!


Lola's Garden is looking so beautiful. Did you know that cosmos are drought tolerant, that they even thrive in bad soil? It's comforting, somehow, to know that good things are possible, even in less than ideal times and places.

Some Mothering

Finishing October

I ought to have a separate label called "Shocked" and under its heading would be all the posts that express my amazement about the lateness of the month, or week or day... seems I am always caught off guard by the passage of time. It's Later Than You Think could be my theme song. So, anyway, I am taken aback, surprised, turned around... October is nearly through? Oh my.

OKay. Who needs a costume? William asked for a black dress shirt that will be suitable for Frankenstein's Monster; something in keeping with the literary description of the creepy fellow. Alex's costume is nearly complete, I think... wait, I seem to recall a strip of elastic I need to attach to his head dragon's head. And for Max, I need to get to a feed store and buy a flake of straw. Maria... she says she wants to be a "Cutie Bug!" I think that can be open to interpretation, so I hope she is happy with whatever I can manage in the next 24 hours! Pictures, yes. I will take lots of pictures.

Last week, when we came home from our very exclusive evacuation center, we were greeted by 2 parcels. One from Hawaii and one from Oregon. Seems the grandmas were in sync and they both had Halloween on their minds. I cannot describe the pleasure we derived from those care packages... it was as good as a party and a wonderful distraction from our fears and anxieties about the fires.


My mom sent Maria little tulle tutus, and Tutu sent her a bracelet and a necklace. We also received gag gifts, like a fake cigar and a chewed wad of gum prop, Halloween pencils, paper plates and a tea towel with a pumpkin cookie cutter. Tutu added her traditional chocolate covered marshmallow treats, which the boys jokingly say can only be found in Hawaii. Thank you grandmas and grandpas! We love our treats.

Interesting crossroads... I am struggling with a decision about what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to discuss in a blog. I know that very personal or emotionally charged subjects are considered taboo for some, especially in a family blog or when read by people not as comfortable with the whole blog genre in the first place. Yet some people would actually find it remiss of me not to mention an important, or significant event or passage... maybe it would seem indifferent of me or insensitive of me to not acknowledge sad news. And lately I have left quite a bit unsaid, preferring to respect privacy, and perhaps I should continue in this mode. However, I make this blog a chronicle of our lives and a means to connect with family and friends.

And so I must mark this day, quietly, though publicly, and extend my deepest sympathy to my cousins. My tio passed away last night... it is my cousins I am thinking of, their loss, and I am sad too... once again caught off guard by the passage time, and full of memories of our times together as children, playing under the watchful, loving eyes of our parents. I pray for their comfort, that they may feel the warm embrace and loving kindness of family and friends, near and far.

Too Soon Monday


From this angle it looks like we have a handle on life and impending festivities, but the truth is this has been a difficult week and it's not getting much easier. Never underestimate the effects of Santa Winds, raging fires, evacuations, clean-up and traveling the road back to Normal. In the midst of our own little dramas we are trying to cope with other people's agendas... like school parties on steroids. And then there are family matters that arise and make all else pale by comparison... so, I dropped everything to try to comfort my cousins in L.A. Sigh. Truly, this is not me complaining. I am just taking stock of all the factors that may account for my lack of sleep, for feeling stressed, sad, melancholy and well, frankly, irrationally cranky and sometimes even rationally cranky.

The boys are just... ahem... a wee bit late for school. What can I say?

So, I took stock of what is making life challenging at the moment. Now I am going to play a therapeutic balancing game and reflect on what makes me hopeful, grateful and willing to keep on trying...
1. Geoff put gas in the car before I made the sola trip to L.A. This is romantic, kind, thoughtful, helpful and comforting.
2. I got to see my cousins and Grandma, aunt, uncle, tio, and my brother Bill. TIme with family is precious.
3. When I came home everyone was happy and safe and I was overcome with the knowledge that I love this family with my heart, soul and mind.
4. Dominic learned to walk. Sure, I am missing the fun of actually seeing him walk, but at least I got to see Bill impersonate his son walking. Cute. Cute and funny.
5. I have been hearing from family and friends and new Chickenblog visitors, and I love the conversations and exchanges. Love it.
6. Tracy says I make her smile and she handed me an award for it. I wish I could sing, but making people smile is also a sweet skill. Tracy makes me smile too.
7. Frozen, nitrate-free turkey sausages are on sale.
8. I finally found my cell phone... to 21 people: Sorry I missed your call!
9. 21 people called me. OKay, some of them were recorded messages from the school district.
10. Did I mention how much I love my family? It bears repeating. I love their laughter, creativity, thoughts, actions, dreams, plans, goals, motivations, smiles, drawings, carvings, dances, songs, music, style and hugs.

Forward.

We were at a family reunion last weekend. I took more than two hundred photos. I noticed that many of them were not as well centered as I would have liked. I was disappointed in myself, then I remembered that I was balancing a baby in one arm while photographing with my *free* hand. Hmmm... I think that as long as I am balancing, juggling and multi-tasking I can expect a lot of things to be off center.

We made it to the reunion a bit after 8 in the morning, which was early, but there was an earlier crew. The early crew gets down to the Bay at about 5 a.m. to insure securing adequate space. By the peak of the gathering there were at least 150 of us. Somos muchos, and of course there were many missing and missed. We went early so we could park our Behemoth RV, The Green Goose. We brought a gazeebo for shade and plenty of extra comfy lawn chairs.

Alex and Max enjoyed skating. The night before the reunion we cleaned our garage (I almost spelled it gagrage) and the boys found roller blades and my roller skates. They mastered the wheels well enough to enjoy them the next day. Geoff brought his extra long skateboard and he made many trips towing children on the skateboard from his bicycle. There were several battles with water balloons and supersoakers, and as always there was a lot of good food.


Elias Ernesto has Geoff Super Soaked.

And there were many babies. Cousins of cousins and dozens of cousins. How distant are the relations? My grandfather's children, siblings' and cousins' children, their children and their children were there. Is that four generations? No one ever says once or twice removed. We just say uncle, aunt or cousin, mother, father, grandparent etc...


Hortensia and her 3 month old daughter Alma Elizabeth, Anaelda with her 5 month old son Gael and me with 8 month old Maria Olivia. Primas with their primos.

I love family gatherings when it feels like there is support and love all around. We look out for one another. The children are safe and adored, lavished with affection. There are extra arms for holding babies, extra ears and hearts for listening to a child's needs and interests. I have felt this way in Wisconsin, when Geoff's family gathers at Grandma Nancy's. It feels like I've got back-up. I felt this way on Saturday. Hortensia had Maria in her arms, then Kai held her, then Betí, then Elias and Elias Ernesto. I picked up Alma when she woke from her nap, and passed Jacob Cheerios to go with his lunch. We may not get together often, our relatedness may be distant, but the familial connectedness is strong and good.


Max and his grandfather's cousin Elizabeth share some talking time.

Maria and I have gone to visit the abuelos a few times. Antonia and Ismael are my abuelos, which actually makes them Maria's bisabuelos. Elias, my uncle, will be taking the abuelos back to El Valle some time this week. The 14 hour drive is hard for my grandparents to make, so we don't see them as often as we used to. Possibly we will return for a visit to El Valle this fall, when the Sonoran Desert is cooler and the mosquitos have retreated. My abuelo has lived a long time; hard work and alcohol have taken their toll too. He has been asking around for a horse that he can ride home. He assures us that on the right horse he can be home by night fall. In his youth he outrode the Yaquis to bring his sister to Los Angeles.




Meanwhile, back at the Treehouse, we have been keeping things cool!

I really must get back to Target for some more water guns. I promise not to buy a cheap plastic pool this year, but I simply must have water toys when the sun is heating up the neighborhood. Last night we soaked ourselves thoroughly, and it wasn't even hot enought to justify a school night water fight, but it was fun. Also fun: Sleeping in the new mosquito proof gazebo/tent. We dragged down the air mattress and lots of blankets and slept under the stars (obscured by the marine layer.) I never have to try to find an excuse for having a good time.

Cousin line-up...
Natalie, Cristina, Michael, David, Adriana, Danny, Gilberto, Elias, Cheyito, Issac and Vicky (ages 38-12)

On Mother's Day we got together at my aunt's house, and we took a lot of family pictures. As many cousin as are pictured, I can think of many more that were missing that day: Ruben, Priscilla, Blanca, Marc, and Guillermo's 3, plus Bill and Hans, and then there are our second cousins, and cousins from my Mom's side of the family, and my in-law cousins!... Cristina, my half sister, is holding her youngest son, and I have Maria in my arms. It's an expanding universe.

Maria is too distressed to be ignored, so I cannot write the detailed description this picture deserves. My abuelos are in town. They live in Sonora, Mexico, and being quite old, they rarely come North any more. I am glad she has met them and they have held her, sung to her, blessed her.



And last night, for Family Night, we went to to the Maritime Museum and boarded the Star of India, then the HMS Surprise from Master and Commander. Though we liked the Pirates of the Caribbean movie far better (history aside, Depp vs. Crowe is a no brainer) we did enjoy checking out both decks of the Surprise.

Sad baby. Gotta go.


Maria in The Sky.
Happy baby. Gotta go.

Last week:

We attended the 19th almost-annual Tilili Family Reunion. It was at Mission Bay again this year, and I thought there was a pretty big turn out. I had no idea my abuelos would be there, which was a very pleasant surprise. The other treat was enjoying the day with Hans and Gretchen. We met before the actual event to have a "who's who family refresher." The family is huge and growing, so if you don't attend a few reunions, it can be quite overwhelming.

I am frustrated about not being able to post pictures (still waiting to figure out this glitch) and I am too brain drained to write elaborate descriptions of the days events, the chisme, to describe all the cute new babies, and to wax poetic about the comforting sense of connectedness one can feel at family gatherings. Of course I did take a lot of pictures. Pictures of us eating all the delicious potluck offerings, and of children digging in the sand and chasing their tio Gilberto. I got pictures of yawning babies, and toddling toddlers, maturing teenage boys and cousins flying a kite.

Next week:

The boys and I, less Geoff, are hopping aboard the Coast Starlight for a ride to Oregon. Adventures await! We hope to enjoy beach walks, berry picking, crabbing and sightseeing in quaint Bandon By The Sea. Alex and Max are particularly excited, their bags are packed, and they are eager to settle in to our sleeper car and then see what train riding is all about.

I am trying to take it easy, pack light, relax, anticipate, troubleshoot, and go with the flow... all at once. The Papaya and I still seem to be negotiating our cohabitation of my body. I still throw-up spontaneously (not pretty.) And I haven't enjoyed that surge of energy and ease that I had in my other pregnancies. Meanwhile she insists on Kalamata olives, and 3 a.m. dancing. Last night I had a very rude awakening when I read in my pregnancy bible: "As the second trimester finishes, you may find yourself feeling tired..." !!! Where did my "not feeling tired" phase go?! Who'll take my complaint? The Universe owes me a trimester of energy and a lovely pregnancy glow, without nausea, and a firm butt, and fresh breath, and maybe a winning lotto ticket.

I think today I am Blogging just as an excuse to sit down. It's hot, and it is humid and also very hot. If I repeat myself it is likely the heat. Please excuse me.

Our weekend was very full, and as fulfilling. Friday night's MNO and collective birthday party was very fun. We enjoy each other's company too much for it ever to be a strain or effort. Invite us, serve some wine, light some candles...we'll do the rest. We laughed all night, and ate, and swam. B had the last laugh; when we thought we were surprising her on her birthday she came with gifts for all of us. Actually we all brought presents so we could play a game of exchanging and stealing. We all went home with something special for our birthdays. It seems like we all managed to leave with something we could really use, like a book titled "My Teen is Crazy," or that we really wanted, like a pedicure gift certificate. Looking at my feet in the picture below, I think I should have stolen the gift certificate!


Belinda bought us all slippers and flip-flops!

Saturday night, family came to see the Tilili slide show that I made from the reunion. We also swam and shared dinner. It was a relaxed evening, and they contributed a wonderful salad, and quite possibly the best ever chocolate chip cookies (I could be more certain about that judgment, but I'd have to have another sample.) Cristina, my sister, finally persuaded me to drag out my four boxes of neglected beads. They really were in a pitiful state. She couldn't resist organizing them for me, and I promised to keep them sorted and tidy until they can be put in to baggies. She went way beyond the call of duty, and I am grateful.

By Sunday I realized that I had all the makings for chile rellenos, and those always taste better when shared. I called Anne and Dave, Adam and Jacob, and they obliged us by coming to swim, and eat rellenos and beans, and papaya with lime. Mmmmmm. The pool felt wonderful in the early evening. Dave brought his camera, which is like ours. He uses the movie feature on the camera, and now I want to play with it too. I fully expect him to keep learning all about our camera, so he can pass his vast wealth of knowledge on to me.

Apart from all our fun with family and friends we are continuing to apply our sweat and imagination to our Rancho. We have always wanted a fountain to fill in the space at the entry, and we finally chose one, and bought it, and installed it. And the garage is completely organized and painted. The bright white walls, and all the clear corners should go a long way toward keeping down the black widow population.

Now I feel too hot even for sitting. Maybe we should watch the movie Ice Age or just get in the car and drive to the Oregon Coast, where my mother says Fall weather has already returned...