While My Tea Steeps, I Getaway

There is chard and calendula in the garden, and eggs, too... depending on where the chickens are laying. Between the surplus eggs, and the return of cold weather, quiche popped into my thougts when I was at the market. I grabbed the pie crust at Trader Joe's, and some of their shredded cheddar, and leeks. I love leeks! I don't have a recipe, but the consistency is what I go by. 8 eggs, sauteed leeks, and chard, and the small tub of cream cheese leftover from a bagel weekend. Salt. Pepper. Dill. The rest of the shredded cheese mix from the fridge bin, and a splash of heavy cream. And calendula petals! I don't really taste those... they aren't peppery, like nasturtium. The calendual taste a bit like a redleaf lettuce, maybe slightly like cucumber? Anyway, I know they are beneficial, so in they go, for heart, body, and soul! Then I got fanciful and made quiche flowers, which I dabbed with some watered down yolk, hoping it would keep them from shriveling up. I like the results! And it reminds me that I want to make one of those focaccia that looks like a painting... pepper petals, and leek stems, tomato flowers, just all kinds of veg to create an edible painting atop the bread. Have you seen those? Just type "focaccia art" into your search engine... Google shows me an entire garden of focaccia art! Amazing. They are beautiful! Oh yes, oh yes, I want to play with my food!

The beloved daffodil, Valentine's Day up to this morning. Yesterday, it rained, and I can see the slight silver streaks of rain in picture 6, and sprinkles on the petals in the seventh image. Ever the greedy gardener... it seemed like so many when I was digging holes, and dropping in the bulbs, but of course now I can imagine twice as many, or four times more! There's room. And they'll spread. Right? I wonder if I should just leave them in the ground, and let them figure it all for themselves? Otherwise, I worry that the task of digging them up, storing them properly, then remembering to plant again, next fall, will be my undoing! I can't pretend anymore that I could get any better at even easy jobs. In the meantime, I am taking lots of pictures, and whenever I think of it, I dash over and see the progress. I should find seeds of flowers that can fill in, so we have a succession of blooms.

When I pull back the camera, you can see I have plenty of blank canvas. This is an area that was very recently created, when we moved our stash of construction leftovers, cut into the bank and shored it up with the blocks. It's not always this "charming," because often times we stash the rubbish bins along the wall, or have something parked there. You can't imagine all of the shuffling, loading, packing, and removing we have going on! It is, at best, organized chaos, and I regularly inhale slowly, mindfully, and repeat to myself that we will survive our ambitious plans, and the upheaval that coincides, and in no time (3 years) everything will be orderly, serene, and basically awesome. Amen.

When hammering, drilling, sawing, is incessant, when I can't find my way through the sequence of operations... the paperwork, material orders, plans, blueprints, appointments, design meetings, and shuffling, I take another mindful breath, and stare at my grape hyacinth, update this blog, or make quiche flowers from calendula petals. Sitting at the dining table this morning, waiting for my chamomile tea to steep, I gazed into the forest of muscari stems, and imagined being small. Small enough to trek between the bulbs, and hike my way up and down the papery trunks, to a comfortable niche between the towering growth, and looking up, I would sigh happily, tie a hammock, and relish the getaway.

Orange Cranberry Scones

The Recipe for Orange Cranberry Scones

Ingredients

2 cups (250g) of flour, with extra for the work surface, when rolling out the dough

1/2 cup (100g) of granulated sugar

2.5 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp orange zest, and this is about what you get from one orange

1/2 cup (115g) frozen butter (we had salted)

1/2 cup (120ml) heavy cream

1 large egg

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1 full cup (125g) frozen cranberries (Maria used dried cranberries once. She soaked them in water to soften them a bit.)

Orange Glaze

1 cup (120g) powdered sugar

2-3 Tb (30-45ml) orange juice. Maria likes the zing of lemon juice, so she added the juice of 1/2 a lemon to this.

Instructions

Combine the dry ingreiduents and zest and whisk to combine. Grate the frozen butter, then use a pastry cutter to combine the butter with the dry ingredients, or do like Maria and use your hands. You are going for a crumbly consistency. This can rest in the refrigerator while you mix the wet ingredients in a seperate bowl. Now, whisk the heavy cream, the egg, and the vanilla. Bring out the flour/butter mixture, and drizzle the egg and cream over it, and add the frozen cranberries. Combine all of this, pouring it onto a counter, and with some flour on the work surface and your hands, work the dough into a ball... if it's too sticky sprinkle some flour, or if it's too dry 1 or 2 tablespoons of heavy cream. Work this into an 8" inch round, then cut it into 8 wedges, with a knife or scraper. Maria lined a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat (parchment works, too) and set the wedges on the sheet to refrigerate for at least 15 minutes. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (204 degrees Celsius.) When the oven is ready and the wedges have chilled, bake them 2-3 inches apart for 20-25 minutes, until the edges are golden. Get them to a cooling rack, and prepare your glaze. Glaze: Whisk the sugar and citrus juice to desired thickness, then drizzle over the scones.

This recipe came from the Culinary Arts class, and Maria baked them for us at about six months into the Stay At Home Season. They were a such a delight... for one, because they taste delicious, and secondly, because it was lovely to have something new, and to enjoy it mindfully, appreciatively. That was in September, 2020, and I have cherished the memory ever since. I have been giddy since bedtime, when I learned that Maria planned to make them again, today. She froze the butter, and double checked that we had fresh cranberries in the freezer (which, obviously, means they're frozen fresh cranberries!) She and I took a flashlight late last night, and trekked to the end of the garden in search of oranges. We thought it was very cold out there, but we laughed at ourselves thinking of the freezing temperatures in the rest of the country! We harldy suffer, but it's all relative, right?

The first time I had these, I wrote, "Maria's scones came out pretty, appealingly pretty. By the time I got to sit down and enjoy my serving, I decided to make it a mindful, special moment. I made coffee, I brought out a pretty plate, I sat at the dining table. I am so glad I was intentional, because her baking was transportive. Each bite made me recall the pleasure of cafes, of going out, of being at a bakery, some place you find at the end of the day, on a tree-lined street. My thoughts wandered. I thought of novels, heroines, linen aprons, garden kitchens, the waning light of a softening summer, the painstaking saving of fruits, nuts, spices, in preparation of holidays, Winter. Maria's baking made me feel hopeful, thankful, sated. That's a lot to derive from a scone, but it was a very pretty scone, and delicious, too, and I am reminded of all the good that comes of slowing down, being mindful. It's a gift to take notice, to enjoy all the layers." I can't think of much more to add to that, except to recommend the tea Bambi prepared to go with our treat. She didn't only brew the tea, it's one she also blended, using Adagio teas. (This is not an ad. We simply enjoy teas and blends from Adagio Teas, and her mix is public, if anyone is interested in ordering it.) "Blended With Rooibos Tea, Honeybush Tea, Orange, Rose Hips, Hibiscus, Lemon Grass, Marigold Flowers, Natural Lemon Flavor, Natural Vanilla Flavor, Apple Pieces, Natural Apricot Flavor, Natural Orange Flavor & Apricots." Bambi's Torben tea paired very nicely with Maria's Orange Cranberry scones.

A Happy Birthday

The original plan for celebrating Geoff's birthday was a picnic, which, unfortunately, we were compelled to postpone. Now I think on it, I am not sure how we were going to pull off a picnic, even without COVID meddling, because it's the busy busy busy season at Geoff's work, and he is at the computer 7 days a week, usually for 12-15 hours a day, including his birthday. Late Saturday night, Maria sent me a text... the invitation.

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

The first year of lockdowns, and staying home was hard, but it was novel, and we often said things like, "Well, we will make up for this, later." We will celebrate, or do-over, or try again, later. Now, staring at the prospect of going into a third year, and no one is feeling like we can ever make up for any of this, like one big party or trip, or celebration will compensate for what we've missed. I'm not whining, or feeling sorry for us. We have had our fun, and made the best of strange times, had great resources and opportunities to gather, play, engage, and thank goodness for the friends and family we have been able to connect with.

Maria's invitation was special. Extra so, because she took the initiative. She made a plan, and gave it a noteworthy boost. I probably take too much responsibility for making a success of events, and occasions, and I feel (way too much) responsible when the plans fall apart. And! Isn't it lovely to be invited? Ah, I love how this made me feel!

Maria was up early, to bake. I asked Geoff for any special requests for dinner, he had none, except "No beans." Fair enough. When the cake was out of the oven, and we had our tea, Maria and I hit the market, and the nursery. On the way home, we saw there were more birders on the street. This is the second group, this time from Iowa, and I helped them find the Grace's Warbler, too! While I was out birding, Maria finished the cake, with a lemon glaze, berries, and from the garden, calendula blossoms. Maria and Bambi discussed more teas and settled on four different ones to serve with the cake.

Bambi brought out her smallest tea cups, so we could sample each tea. After we finished the Advent calendar of teas from Adagio, we switched back to loose teas combined to make Dungeons and Dragons inspired mixes. The little rose tea cup? It's the first set Bambi received, from her Mom, when Bambi was five years old. I love that she was having tea parties as a child, and at the same time, Alex and the rest of us were enjoying tea parties, too.

Sunny and clear! Oh, it would have made a really lovely picnic day. With everyone. We had to wait for Geoff to finish up a work meeting, and when he joined us we tried all the teas, and ranked them. We relished Maria's lemon poppy seed cake... made with Jennifer's poppy seeds from Penzey's, which I am convinced made the cake taste even better. For lunch, I made fish tacos, with mango salsa, and no beans! Then Geoff asked if we'd like to take a walk, and after he worked a few more hours, we all went on good stroll. And, I apologize if blue skies and birdsong, gardens in bloom, etc, is torture to our friends in snowy climes! We really are fortunate, I know. Later, we had a fireside dinner. Paul and Janece brought their dinner, and we laughed. We talked, and laughed. Laughter can feel like a complete meal, like a present, like a long therapy session that leaves you recharged, healed. We counted stars, and named them, too. We sang Happy Birthday, and made some wishes.

Happy Birthday, Geoff. Thank you for making everyday a celebration, small moments big, and life better, with you in it.

From BirdHouse Notes: I am thinking about Maria... about how much her hair has grown since it was cut in Lockdown 1.0, about her Paradox T-shirt design being chosen for the team's shirt this year, about winter formal, and having to take another COVID test before school, since she was exposed last week. I am thinking about her mismatched socks, and how she carries three bags to school, and always a book. She just finished reading Piranesi, (Susanna Clark) the book William gave her for Christmas. I am thinking about the colors she would like to paint her bathroom, her bedroom, and whether she will go away for college, or be able to live at home. I am thinking I was sure I wanted her to go to one school, but now I feel very anxious and eager and want her to get into another, and we won't know what her options will be until March. I am thinking how things can take a seemingly long time, but then are actually moving much too quickly. I am thinking about how much I love her. January 25, 2022

A Chat

Yellow roses, from Trader Joes. I can see they are a teeny bit passed prime, but they still look lovely to me, and they are holding up well, considering I brought them home on the 5th. Maybe I should hang them, for a dried arrangement. I think they might just dry up all in one day, because it's about to hit 85 degrees here! Yes, summer returned, for two days, and tomorrow autumn is back in the forecast.

I was absolutely resolute: I will make this for Maria and I will keep it a secret, until her birthday. But I was so delighted with how it turned out, I blew my surprise and gave it to her yesterday. Early gift shopping never works for me, either. It almost always goes like this... I can't resist giving the gift too soon, or I tuck it away, for safe keeping, but can't find it until 6 months after the panicked search. Don't ask me what this tiny wool thing is, because I made it the teeniest bit too small to hold an id card, or gift card. It has a pocket inside, and the yellow bead has loop fastener to keep it closed. It's a hen's tooth. Maria exclaimed gleefully over the flowered hat, and cup of tea, the stack of books. I am thinking of another gift to put together for her... Gah! I almost shared my idea, but she might read this and I'd blow another surprise! Ok. I am totally absolutely very resolute this time.

I feel like having tea and a chat, so if there's anything you'd like to share, I am flitting around, and happy for some company.

(Not "85." It's just after midday and 89 degrees Fahrenheit [31.66 C]. In November. I'm glad we have made changes here that keep the house cooler... covered porch, windows that bring in cross breezes, room darkening drapes that keep the sun outside. Without any air conditioning, or even fans running, it's still comfortable. Thank goodness.)

Clearing Some Cobwebs

Anna Pugh
She is one of my favorite artists. I love her subjects, the colors she uses, and the textures she adds. I love the imaginative details interwoven with realism, how it blends gracefully, lovingly. "Acrylic on Board," read the details, but I am convinced there is more, that she has something in her possession, something that lends more than paint, canvas, skill and time. I sense fabric, fluid, motion, unknown media, rare matter. Someday, I would love to see an original painting of hers, and get close up to the acrylic and board. I have some of her prints, and have seen others. But I know, with art, the real thing is always something far better, more compelling, and the idea makes me certain that seeing her art in person would be wonderful.

This image is a screen shot from my phone. I don't have any idea where I grabbed it from, or when. Actually, I have started saying aloud, "I don't know. I can't remember," and I follow up with a certainty, "It must have happened in 2018, or before." Other than the times I have mentioned the issue of memory loss here, I hardly speak of it. Probably most of my friends do not know. I had hoped it would get better, or something, but I am regularly reminded of gaps, holes, blank pages. It's a sad, hard thing alone, that unfortunately also brings to mind the collision, the other losses, and challenges. If I need to come to terms with it, somehow, I am amused about movies and TV shows that I can watch again and find practically brand new. If I saw a show before the event, then I might know that I have seen it, like it's kind of familiar, otherwise details, plot, even the ending, are as though I had not seen the movie. Well, that was a funny/welcome (kind of) chance in the Stay At Home Season of lockdown, when watching movies was one of the things that I could do for amusement, because lots of repeat things could be enjoyed like they were new. Sometimes I am reminded that getting a little absent minded comes with age, it's normal, but this is different, believe me. It's not as bad navigating the blank spots since we are mostly at home, but the worst times are when someone knows me, and I have absolutely no idea who they are... not just "Oh, darn, what is his name? It's on the tip of my tongue." No, I am looking at a stranger who is often looking a bit hurt or confused at my reaction, because I cannot place them, at all. Those were people I met, had in my home, hung out with, but they were newer friends, people I met within 18 months or so of that thing. The blog has helped, and one of my children might fill in the gaps, and thankfully my brain is at least receptive, and their anecdotes, or my blog posts, and photographs are like found pieces of the puzzle that I can use to fill in what, until that moment, I wasn't aware was missing. It is weird. And at times distressing. Even the screenshot... popping up in the iPhone "remember this" feature, was a bit of a confounding torment. So, here I am blogging about it, trying to make it fit in my brain puzzle.

He is so handsome, our Cairo. Here he is in my studio, stretched out across two file boxes, looking languid, slightly noble.

Here I want to say Ta Da! This whole area, upstairs, has been... well, let's not mince words: In a dreadful state, for a dreadful long time. But William and I have conquered the beast! It is slain, and discharged! Mostly. We have at least one carload of donation destined boxes, and more to come. Lots. More. To. Come. We are on a mission to make space for another bedroom, and space. Just more space. More space and less stuff. These are the goals. I am easily discouraged both by the tasks ahead of me, and by the realization of all that I have not confronted, managed, addressed, tended in the last... oh, say 1,022 days, more or less. I wonder, and help me out if you can... can we admit what has interfered, or hindered our well being, our mental and physical capabilities, be open about it, without making it part of our identity? And here I am muddled and sorting it out, still. I have been trying to heal, to get over it, to deny, suppress, avoid, all things accident related, because I worry that I will sound obessive, that I will entwine Me, my identity, limits, and abilties, with something that happened to me. Okay, but my avoidance, downplaying method is not working. Something bad did happen, and it took a long, protacted, complicated, and badly managed time to get through the civil and criminal components, and the many physical and emotional circumstances are still an issue... so, as much as I do not want to become "accident victim," I am not who I was before that thing. I am changed, hurt, healing, confused, challenged, different. I can't tell if things are a mess with me, around me, because of injuries and compromised emotional/brain things, or because I have not managed the road to wellness, or something I am not recognizing, doing? I am embarrassed saying all of this, yet encouraged by the impulse to try and get it right, because I see things are not working, and I do want to be better.

I am glad it's fall. Happy Fall! Eventually, this season, I will write another post about all the things and feelings, and concepts I love about this season. I do it every year. I can't help myself. In the meantime, I would like to share some fall love and insight, from Nailah Blades, coach and speaker. She brought new thoughts and comforting ideas, that fit nicely into my brain puzzle, about what this season can be, for change, for letting go, for quiet reflection or even hibernation. And, I just like the way I feel when I listen to her.

The blue tea is natural, and the color comes from butterfly pea flowers, and Adagio Teas makes a blend with lemongrass that tastes like, get this: Fruit Loops, but not sweet. Is that weird? And cool? Maybe you have never had Fruit Loops, or don't remember, or would never! But if you know, you know. It's fun. I drank mine almost cool, and found it refreshing. It's like a lemon drink but skipping the acidic aspect of lemon, so it doesn't need sweetning sweetening. It's a smooth, floral lemon-like tea. And it's blue, unless you add actual lemon juice, in which case it turns deep pink! No dyes, just lovely tea magic. Bambi makes it especially for a full moon. Did you see the Harvest Moon?

More Tea?

Maria invited friends over for tea and a movie! She baked tiny vanilla cupcakes with lemon buttercream frosting, and everyone tried two or more different teas. Then they watched Kiki's Delivery Service, with the campfire roaring... which inspired marshmallow roasting. Amira came, Skylar, Easton, and Makayla, too. And maybe next time more friends can come.