Sunday, February 10, 2019

The End of My rise to Mediocrity

Last year... because I can't get my photos to work...
The letter between O and Q on my keyboard died, and so did the "return" key. My computer hasn't backed ub in 17 days, and iBhoto isn't responding... whoa... the letter will abbear if spellcheck detects the error. I am subpoenaed again, but this time to testify for the Department of Motor Vehicles against the drunk lady. So, this makes 2 hearings. And yes, this is a whining, miserable, I have a head cold, and I cannot do what I love since the accident comblaint post. Only my own moral compass keeps me from posting her name, and wishing rain on her barade. I was drobbed from yoga, before I could quit... I missed the first day because 1. I needed to be somewhere else at the same time 2. I have nothing to wear that is yoga abbrobriate 3. I was overcome with discomfort and anxiety 4. my body hurts in vague and general ways that makes me uncomfortable, untrusting. I did make it to the first day of the new art class... the colon key is broken, too... Oil Painting. And I was nervously habby, and it should have been all good, but then my body began aching and the telltale accident bains returned, and I at one point I slipped away to cry, because I feel so sad and angry and frustrated, and embarrassed. It's silly to be embarrassed, but I am. It's wrong to say "silly." My brain is still off... just slightly enough out of sorts to be distressing. I have all but quit trying to write, actually... between my brain and aches I feel, it's too hard, and besides blogging is dead... so is the forward slash, so no more html. Well. This is all very distressing, disaobbointing, silly, embarrassing, and inevitably bointless.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Last Year...

Christmas morning, 2018

Now it's almost the end of January, nearly a month into this new year, and I am not quite so disappointed that this Christmas morning picture is out of focus. I'm just glad to have it... to have the happy memories it recalls. We did celebrate Christmas, and it was a blur of joy and overabundance.









On Boxing day we picked up from where we left on from Winter Solstice, and share dinner and a campfire with more friends. And I am pretty sure this about the time that we started making our plans for next year, which basically entails more nights sharing dinner and campfires with friends.

I miss friends. And I miss feeling stronger, more capable... I won't lay all of the blame on the accident, because I know I struggle to be on top of things in the best of times, but I really feel my inadequacies these days. Frankly, if you saw how hard I struggled just to spell "inadequacies," you would cut me some slack. I am not really interested in excuses... I want to be a better friend.













I am lucky. And thankful. Looking through these pictures, I feel it all over again... the certainty that seeing the people I love, even the ones that I unfortunately did not get a picture of, is the best of any day. Whether celebrating a birthday, or just figuring out a new robot together... that company, laughter, support, and energy exchange is priceless.

Is my New Year resolution taking shape?

More time with friends.



The last day of 2018, and this year we went out! Unheard of! Alex's work party... (which, honestly, we did not crash) was at Robin and Sean's, and we were all invited. Besides being Alex's bosses, they're dear friends, which is why we imposed and stayed very late, and ate all of the tacos, and dished out the second round of churros and ice-cream. It was a very good party.

This is a plug for Salud Tacos, because their tacos, cooked on site, were insanely good. Genuinely deliciosos!! This is not a paid endorsement. Maybe I was especially vulnerable... going through the holidays, wishing for family traditions and familia, nostalgia, cultura, a bowl of posole, a piñata, missing my Grandma, all of the intangible bits that give the season sabor, and Salud swooped in in their taco van, and shut me up!

When I went back for my second plate they apologized for making me wait a moment... they were preparing dessert, "churros and ice-cream." And I thought eh, ice cream. And churros? I'll take tacos over churros, muchas gracias.


I accepted my dessert, to be polite, you know. And then I embarrassed myself with gushing and running my fingertip all around the rim. I went back to the catering station and begged, Begged for the secret formula. I won't divulge all of what they shared in confidence, but my Tajín crush just redoubled.


For the latter half of the month I carried around those wool felt balls I repurposed from Trader Joes. It was my gift and comfort to share crafting and creating with them, and Robin really raised the bar in creativity! She brought out her beads, and I acted as her assistant. Do you know what makes a lovely NYE... friends, light, laughter, tacos, Tajín, craft, games, and puzzles. We were cozy, content, and together.




Before the year ended, we hugged our hosts and thanked them. We were back home in time for Bambi to fix us all toshikoshi soba and veggies, for a happy year-passing. And that was all last year.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

More Of What I Love




























Well... these are certainly very happy memories from our holidays. And I am brimming with anecdotes and reflections, bits I want to share and recall. But just now... just now I need to sit quietly, find a way to recharge, restock that resilience I am so badly in need of. And I will gaze, lovingly, and thankfully at these pictures, and be glad that we have so much to love.