Friday, February 15, 2019

February 6-14 Flowers and Fixes

February 6 ::
In winter, the nicest spot to warm-up is in front of the oven, beneath the vent for the heater. You get the ambient heat from the gas burner, and a blast of warm air that kicks-in to take the chill off our morning as we get ready for the day. The water is heating for oatmeal, and I feel resolved, but in that way that is a delicate balance between grappling and contentment.

Returning to blogging has not been easy. It takes a lot of time, and I've struggled to regain my focus and endurance. Sadness, too, has been a struggle... not wanting to dwell on trials, or revisit frustration, being self-conscious about my typos and poor reasoning. For a while I even considered writing, for me, to be over; something to give up, but that bore its own sadness and frustration. But how to get back? Where to begin? Back-blogging has been a good path, I think. The posts are kind of hidden, quietly slipping into the blog, unobtrusively. It's funny and revealing, because I reasoned with myself... Just pick a couple of special moments from each week, keep it small, with few words. No pressure. Now, I feel myself gaining steam, and wanting to share more pictures, feeling eager to recall details, and activities, "special" or not. And it helps, too, that I have no deadlines, and there are no demands or expectations. I do this for my own amusement, and that takes away a lot of pressure, as I am very easily amused.

February 7 ::

February 9 ::

Flowers and fixes... the big fix is finally repairing the driveway, after all the roots were cut out. Tree roots were raising and busting our driveway so badly that Geoff's car struggled to get over them, chunks of asphalt and foot high ridges were threatening to send us tripping across the drive. Even with the help we hired, it was a classic Bird House project, where we all lend a hand. The whole time we were tackling this project, rain kept pouring, and we were either working between showers, or enduring long delays.

I suppose if I wrote this account in real-time I would over-dramatize this work a bit. It was a huge undertaking. Now that it's done, and we no longer climb and stumble across the driveway, it all feels like a happy relief, with hardly a bit of hardship.

February 12 ::

In Del Mar there is a little kiosk-like box, where a gardening club displays floral arrangements. It reminds me of our Little Free Library... small, and made for sharing. It's charming.

After school, Maria volunteered with her robotics club to greet prospective students visiting from middle school. And just as she hoped, she met friends from her grade school, and that was a very emotional experience, especially when she and Melaina saw each other. Sometimes we forget that this high school student was a 6th grader only 2 years ago.

Speaking of time and friends, it won't be long before Simon is in high school, too. He has another year, yet, but he was eager to visit his future school, especially to see the metal shop.

February 13 ::

And back to the flowers. I think we will always have calendula, since they reseeded themselves from last year. Like the sweet peas, and poppies, the calendula have been thriving with all the rain.

February 14 ::

Cairo is our funny Valentine.

I thrive, too, in the rainy weather.

(This post was back-blogged on May 2, 2019.)

Sunday, February 10, 2019

The End of My rise to Mediocrity

Last year... because I can't get my photos to work...
The letter between O and Q on my keyboard died, and so did the "return" key. My computer hasn't backed ub in 17 days, and iBhoto isn't responding... whoa... the letter will abbear if spellcheck detects the error. I am subpoenaed again, but this time to testify for the Department of Motor Vehicles against the drunk lady. So, this makes 2 hearings. And yes, this is a whining, miserable, I have a head cold, and I cannot do what I love since the accident comblaint post. Only my own moral compass keeps me from posting her name, and wishing rain on her barade. I was drobbed from yoga, before I could quit... I missed the first day because 1. I needed to be somewhere else at the same time 2. I have nothing to wear that is yoga abbrobriate 3. I was overcome with discomfort and anxiety 4. my body hurts in vague and general ways that makes me uncomfortable, untrusting. I did make it to the first day of the new art class... the colon key is broken, too... Oil Painting. And I was nervously habby, and it should have been all good, but then my body began aching and the telltale accident bains returned, and I at one point I slipped away to cry, because I feel so sad and angry and frustrated, and embarrassed. It's silly to be embarrassed, but I am. It's wrong to say "silly." My brain is still off... just slightly enough out of sorts to be distressing. I have all but quit trying to write, actually... between my brain and aches I feel, it's too hard, and besides blogging is dead... so is the forward slash, so no more html. Well. This is all very distressing, disaobbointing, silly, embarrassing, and inevitably bointless.