White Christmas, anyone? It's never gonna happen, not here, not in Sunny So Cal, where rainfall spins us into a weather phenom crisis, where women don scarves and boots with shorts while nursing their non-fat
fro-yos.
Baby, it's
not so cold outside, and only a lot full of faux-snow flocked Christmas trees, lights on houses, and our miserable sore throats clue me in...
it's almost Christmas! It's not that I am Scroogy, Grinchy, or cynical, it's just that sometimes the holidays, the spirited joy, and decorating fervor, elude me. Some years I wish I could hit a pause button, give our taxed systems a moment to catch up with the dates on the calendar, find the gift tags we stowed safely away, and come to terms with some basic truths...
Basic Truths:
1. Pinning beautiful crafts, and snow covered cabins on Pinterest will not translate into a decorated home, and clean floors.
2. Beautiful rain, welcome and good, also brings mud, sad goats, heap loads of clean-up.
3. The sofa is broken. Not
broken-in, cozy. Just broken.
4. The cats are never going to toilet train themselves.
We do have a Christmas tree. And after three days, we even put lights on it. No one ever need tell us,
"Take it easy! What's your hurry?" And this year, for the first time since 2004, I bought, signed, addressed, stamped, and mailed holiday cards. My feeling of accomplishment, of old-timey traditional social engagement, is off the charts, and only matched by my feeling of dorkiness, and being painfully aware that this achievement is
not that great, that a lot of it was actually slightly botched, and a bit too
old-timey. Does anyone remember when Christmas cards were of glitter trees, manger scenes, or mice drinking cocoa, and they were simply dated, and signed? Some people included a personal note? I forgot that this is 2014... and
Christmas a
season's greetings card is a professional portrait of a family dressed in comfortable sweaters, on a beach, or in the woods.
They look amazing. Christmas Season's greetings cards might include a single-spaced printed essay... reflections on travels, promotions, awards, and heroic accomplishments.
I love those letters. I've noticed people have their friends' addresses printed on labels.
Sheer genius, pure brilliance, and organizational fortitude! If I got my act together, and had all my friends addresses in a computer file, and knew how to print labels... you'd better believe I'd mention it in my single-spaced printed essay on our great year of heroic accomplishments.
We don't have a family picture, all of us looking in the same direction, an in-focus portrait. And as I signed our cards, I reasoned that
it's fine. It's more than fine, because
Chcikenblog Chickenblog is loaded with pictures. We've been sharing chickens, goats, cats, and
us all over the Internet, and I am pretty sure everyone gets a general idea about that sort of thing... how we look, what we do etc. Then I thought,
what about the essay, the catch-up letter? And again, I was painfully aware that no one can be longing to know
what we've been up to lately. I was fiercely tempted to casually include a small url mention of
chickenblog.com, tastefully written in a corner of the card, a gentle reminder, for friends who have never heard that I have been
banging my head pursuing a career in writing about all sorts of random topics, and hoping to land a book deal, so I can feed the goats, and put a new roof on our house. But thanks to an article I read {ten things not to
flock-up in your
Seasons Greetings card,} I knew better than to
run a business advertisement in our holiday card. And even as I debated all of these things, I also questioned the value and sense of sharing my internal monologue, here. On Chcikenblog.
Chickenblog. Apparently, I am a rebel, even against my own good sense, because, as you can see, I am posting all about my self-doubts, missteps, and goofynesses, here on Chiemcmelblog. {Also, hand addressing and signing fifty cards gave me hand cramps and the after-spasms make it difficult to type, or spell correctly, for that matter. (
After-spasms are the post cramp wimpiness you feel when you have forgotten how to hold a pen for long periods of time, and cannot immediately recover from the task, but choose to write all about it for your blog.)}
Also, at 2:30 this morning my brain woke me up to inform me that I
did not spell Aunt Margie and Uncle Howard's surname correctly. That I
left out the T.
Thanks, brain. For waking me, and giving me one more basic truth...
I cannot catch all of my mistakes in time to fix them, but I will always have the predawn hours to be tormented by them.