Saturday, May 01, 2021

May Garden

Did you notice? I am growing chamomile! I cannot be sure when my crush began, but in recent years I have been utterly smitten with these darling blossoms, with their fragrance, with the varities of petals, and button centers, with drying them, and making a cup of tea, even sketching and painting them. The only thing I hadn't managed to do was grow them... a frustrating fact. I was particularly keen on growing them from seed. Well, this year, with seeds from Renee's Garden, (not a sponser... I just love their pretty illustrated seed packets.) I have at least two plants succeeding. And then, when I made a visit to a favorite nursery, I found potted chamomile, and I could not resist. They were already sturdy sprouts, very leafy, but without flowers, yet! Well, now they are blooming, and... LOOK AT THEM! sorry for shouting. What's a good way for expressing when something makes you tingle with excitement, so the vibrations bubble to the surface, raising your voice, your energy, your spirits? I feel on full volume about those little flowers.

Being as lucky as ever in my garden, I admit that I have been record-breaking low-key about all of it. Sure, I planted some seeds, and added seedlings, but I stuck to sure bets, like peas, and spinach, beets. I let lots of things just reseed and pop back up from last year. Our climate is so mild, some annuals act like perennials. It's nice to grow whatever is happiest without me fussing, and leave the rest of our produce needs to the dedicated farmers. We will probably be seeing the spoon tomatoes come back strong, and all of the fruit trees, except Old Apricot, are full of good starts. And I love that the garden is full of ladybugs, some dandy grasshoppers, bluebirds, hummers, and owls, the bees, and lots of bunnies. It is a May Garden, and these are days to take notice of all the goodness.

Wednesday, April 28, 2021


Maria painted a dream... a dream she had about a year ago. She referred to notes she took, and using elements from the dream, she created this compelling scene, a self portrait. I love it... I love the colors and the light, the way things are slightly askew, and surreal, as happens in dreams. I love the details, the textures. Since she was making so much digital art on her laptop, and preparing a porfolio for the Studio Art class she had last semester, Geoff and I got her an iPad for Christmas. In February she switched from a free app called ArtRage, to Procreate, and it didn't take her long to get a handle on the new software. She's been sharing her progress on her Instagram page.
So. I am aware that plenty of people have been going about their business, masked up, and out there... working, shopping, running errands, socializing, adulting. I have not. Or, I have done as little as possible, bare minimum adulting. Instead, I have been dutifully, devotedly, one could even say zealously, staying home, and refraining from anything "risky." At times, during this pandemic, I believe, it was responsible, and appropriate, to participate in bringing down the curve, by not participating. But. Also, it was a not-so secret, fond desire of mine to stay home, avoid crowds, shelter from vehicles, loud noises, sudden intrusions, and all sensory input, except birds, flowers, and rising dough. I have been living my PTSD fantasy, with impunity! And maybe this has been a healing time. For certain, it has been a luxury, and I don't have any regrets, except to admit that I am no braver, no more comfortable or eager for back to normal, which strongly suggests that avoidance is no cure for what ails me. Ugh.
By necessity, or compulsion, I have been venturing out. I don't want to be congratulated, because I have not been particularly noble or gracious about it. I feel embarrassed, frankly. Then again, feeling the world is askew, and surreal, still grappling with symptoms I have yet to subdue or govern... well, if a friend described all of this, I would feel encouraging and gentle with them, so I'd like to be at least that understanding with myself. That never comes easy, though. With others, for others, yes. For me, not so much. In my mind, I accomplished monumental things, and I was going to list, them, but just now I hear the list of errands, and minor expeditions, and it's plain that they were not such a big deal. The car is smogged! Whoo-hoo! And I walked downtown! This one actually is fantastic, though it was accomplished as a team effort... everyone in our Bird House has been vaccinated at least once, and all of us will be fully covered before the end of May!
Here is something funny... I have been posting pictures of flowers, flowers, cats, chickens, and flowers, here, for the last year, and not a lot else! So, I was curious to see what new things would grab my attention, as I venture out into the world. I saw a beautiful Chevy, that would be fun to paint, and I bought a taco, on my downtown walk. The taco was not as great as imagining how it would be, but, well, I guess it was adventurous-ish. And now to the funny part, I have lots and lots of picture of flowers to post! In the middle of adulting and checking things off a (very long) list of things that need to be accomplished, I introduced Bambi to Franco's, the flower wholesaler I love to visit. Alex, William, Bambi, and I made a quick visit, kind of taking inventory of all the flowers found in April. What a happy, random, and satisfying pastime... to be venturing, in person, seeing new and beautiful sights, and thinking of the days ahead, as the world and possibilities open up to us.
As usual, but with a twist! Lots of flowers, and a cat.

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Around Here Somewhere

The expression I looked everywhere is a good example of hyperbole, but it is also the complete and utter truth, practically, about my effort to find my glasses. This morning I looked everywhere for a pair of glasses. Everywhere. For just one pair, of 6 possible vision correcting glasses. I had the teal and brown pair which disappeared a year ago, then there are the twin pair of teal framed glasses that darken in the sunlight. I bought one, and when I went back to add a second pair, I unwittingly chose the same frames, which proves I really like those frames. I have a pair that are metal frames, with little laser cut shapes. I can't think when I last saw those, but they couldn't have gone far. We don't go anywhere! The last two are the serioiusly desperate pairs, including 20 year old pink, wire frames that are so wonky they make me look like a disreputable Dickens' character, and those are the prefered ones, because my last pair are broken broken. They are missing a temple, and so I rigged a lanyard to the working temple and to the hinge on the other side, and then I cinch the glasses to my head. I looked in every vehicle, under every bed, beneath chair cushions, behind that thing where I know stuff gravitates, but is dark and embarrassing so I avoid it. I searched all counters, drawers, shelves, and baskets. I searched coat pockets. I questioned the cats. Incidentally, the cats lie, and they withold evidence. I found the furniture pads that we were surprised to be "out of." We weren't out of furniture pads. Someone put them in the entry desk. Probably me. I found the chocolates I bought for Easter, and a package of those small cereal boxes, that people buy when they go camping or move to a new house. Maria's never tried Apple Jacks. I found my favorite crocheted beanie. It's soft wool, and I love to wear it in winter when I go to bed, even though it eventually slips off, which explains why it worked its way down to the floor, beneath our headboard, where it lived with an errant sock, a wayward tissue box, a missing earring, a lone hair tie, and a herd of dust buffalo. I found the bite guard my orthodontist made for me after he removed my braces before I was married... so that would be June 1989. I found my courage... just kidding. Then, at last, I found a pair of glasses... they were wedged beneath and behind the sofa, and the end table, and maybe a dark sock. This pair is one I didn't even think of, neither old, nor broken, but actually intact, functional, not bad looking. Somewhere in this house, are six other pair of glasses, and possibly my courage, which may be in the company of my sanity, and a wild herd of dust buffalo. I blame the cats. Tomorrow I am making an appointment with an optometrist, and then I am going to order new glasses. Geoff is ordering me a lanyard, and he says he is going to add a thing finding device to it, and so I suggested he go ahead and order me the I've fallen and I can't Get Up alarm to add to the lanyard.