Not Planned

I was feeling a groove about posting again, and so pleased that I had even figured out some long standing mysteries with the code. This recent absence, sudden and long, was not planned.
One thing that made me reluctant to blog in recent years are the issues around "over sharing" and particularly sharing things that aren't my story to tell. Right now is one of those times. We are in the midst ofcoping with a sad and tragic event that happend two weeks ago. It has been traumatic, for many people, including (especially) Maria. And it has had ripple effects, that were initially more like crashing waves. The event was sudden, unexpected, sad, traumatic, and the waves have caused a long, hard list of big changes, painful decisions, and difficult challenges, plus grief.

Vague posts can be so annoying! I know. And it begs the question Why say anything at all? I am sharing something, anything, because this is genuine, this is our reality. It is, as yet, too tragic, too proximate and fragile and awful to disclose fully. It is too all consuming and central to everything we have been doing for 13 days, to deny or surpress.

I wish... many things. But one is that I had taken the time to put into words how lucky I felt as a mother of a young woman in college. I felt, everyday, that I could not have asked for, nor imagined, a more ideal housing experience for Maria. From the begininng, up until last week, it felt safe and healthy. These four young women, sharing an apartment on campus, were responsive and respectful, kind, mindful. The first year was such a happy arrangement, that they applied to be roommates, again, this year. My mind was at ease, my heart was thankful. I wish I had shared posts about the dinners they cooked together, the celebrations they made, how they regularly checked in with eachother, yet were mindful of eachothers' privacy, personal space. I wish I had shared at least one or two pictures of these bright, young women, being so capable, so happy.

For now... please, share your time and caring, whenever you can. Check in on your friends, even the ones that always seem so happy. We have been through hard years, maybe our young adults especially. I'm not sure they understand that things can get better, or that they matter more, to more people, than they may be able to comprehend. Tragedy can make horrible waves, and kindness can makes waves and ripples, too. We could all use more of those gentle, supportive waves... the kind that lift us up, bouyant, warm.