Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Not Such a Good Day
The children are at school, and they do not know... I have been to two vets with the Professor, and I will have to go back once more today. The Professor needs help.
I found him this morning, unable to walk. His hind legs were splayed out behind him, and limp. He let me scoop him up. I knew this was not going to end well. The x-rays show that a vertebrae in his lower spine is completely severed. He cannot move his back feet, or control any of his lower functions.
Waiting to see the second vet, Geoff and I combed his fluffy coat, pulling out straw and dirt. He can struggle to move himself, but when I hold him or pet him, he seems calm, and happy enough just to be loved. He sits still to be held or pet. Then when he does move, he cannot understand why he cannot do what he wants to do, how he wants to do it. His heart rate increases, he looks distressed.
He is not in pain. I have heard rabbits cry, and it is pitiable. And even though he does not seem to be in pain, it is obvious that he anxious. His eyes look sad. He seems to be fading.
I cannot say that I am an optimist. I know I am not as brightly cheerful as my daughter, but I do try to see the good, and to look past the challenges, life's heartaches. Especially lately, I have made a purposeful and hopeful push to emphasize everything that is right and good, but honestly it has not always been easy, because this has not been an easy year. It has been a blessed year, and we have enjoyed many wonderful things, but it has not been an easy year. And so, feeling vulnerable already, feeling a little too frayed, I find this event to be
The rest of this day, the rest of our obstacles... I really don't want to face.