Sunday, September 14, 2008

Happy Reflections

Hey. Thank you. The sweet comments (and there are so many of them) about the little dream garden we planted have been such a treat. If you haven't decided to make one of your own, I highly recommend you give it a try. Or hopefully you already have a space where wonders never cease! Paul noticed that the post was labeled under "prayers" and "play," and he's right, they do go together. Play is such a creative and active act of faith, hope and love. Nikkipolani was wise to remind me that even small gardens need constant attention and even a willingness to to accept loss. Oh, be sure to read all the comments... everyone has such kind thoughts and good insights. We have been having fun and we've been enjoying the peacefulness that springs from that tiny space, and hearing from all of you has heightened my appreciation for what we have.

Right now I am taking calming breaths and trying to retain the happy, peaceful feelings. It's wonderful to reflect on all of the good and beautiful things, but I gotta tell ya, life is as hectic as ever and I still freak out a bit when I tally up all the things I am not addressing... how that list does grow! Maria and I are stealing time, everyday, to go on garden walks, visit playgrounds and do simple activities together. The boys are treasuring their time outside of school and making the most of their smarts and hard work while in school... they are doing very well, and making us prouder than ever. Geoff is preparing for crunch time, when his long hours get longer, and we will be missing him extra much. And errands, chores, meetings, correspondences, plans, hopes, aspirations, and ideals are juggled constantly. I know people who do it all better than me... I am in awe of those people. I feel like I am always behind, late, forgetful, out of the loop and playing catch-up.

I need one of those refrigerator magnets that say reassuring things like: "A Messy House is a Sign of Genius (creativity, intelligence, beauty, whatever.") Geoff bought one that says "A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life." Either he's lost all hope, or he really appreciates me for everything else besides shiny surfaces. I can assure you we have no "Wasted Life" around here!

In a moment I will publish this post, then hustle over to the laundry room and pull out my uniform from the dryer, get Maria dressed and Max cleaned up. I am taking them to a birthday party. Afterwards, we'll get to the market and buy lunch foods and other staples. I need to go to the car wash, get gas and find new wiper blades. There are 1 or 30 papers, appointments, errands and don't forgets that I mustn't forget.

And I will do my best to do as many of the things I have to do, and I will not get to all of them. Sooner or later I will run smack into something really, really important that I have completely lost sight of and then... and then I can either cry, scream, evaporate and be blown away like dust or I can reflect on all the things I did right, and just sigh.

It's not that I want to embrace my mediocrity, but living with acceptance of my weaknesses is rather liberating, and it gives me the strength to stand up and try again. Reflecting on my successes, on the happy things that have transpired, feels good. Deep down good, like breathing in a forest, or coming to the surface from a long, deep swim.

I am already running late.

But I wanted to show you these big frogs, and pretty lily pads, and I wanted to thank you for reading Chickenblog and sharing your thoughts, for giving me happy things to reflect on.

Does anyone know what these are called? I think they are an alien species.

I think Maria draws cute kitties. I think I'd better get going...


amy smith said...

hooray for frogs!

judy in ky said...

If you are harboring any mediocrity, it certainly isn't evident to us out here in bloggyland.
You have intelligent kids, a lively imagination, and a good heart... we can tell. said...

Are those photos from your garden? How wonderful!!!

d.a. said...

People who claim to have it "all together" are either lying, or have assistants. Glad you can take a breath and accept what you can do in the moment. There will always, always be more to do. It's better to take time away to do more being, as you're doing with the garden breaks.

As the song says, "do be do be do!" ;-)

Tiglizzyclone said...

Wow! What cute frogs! Hey Natalie, I know how you feel! I know some people who are like what you describe. I often feel inadequate.
I can't even comment without wanting to rewrite it!!

Laura Jane said...

Oh! Those lilypads are stunning!

Great photography Natalie.

You sound like you're getting into a new rythm, a new stride. Well done, keep breathing, keep appreciating beauty and the good things.

And for the record - I have a stitching in my kitchen that says

"Only dull women have immaculate homes". My husband sighed in recognition.

Mama Spark said...

Hey, I was gonna say that! My hubby bought me a magnet that said, "women with clean houses have no life!". Ain't it the truth, lol. I've said it before but revel in the business it doesn't last forever and you will miss it (at least some of it!)

Visty said...

I have never seen lily pads like those! How wonderful. They look like they were meant for wee frog parties. I love your photos.