Monday, June 06, 2011

Excuse Note: A Tutorial

Our computer died, and one of our resident scholars, up at four a.m. to print school assignments had her/his day completely derailed by this unfortunate, yet common, incident.

So, we needed a note to teachers, a plea for mercy and compassion. One of my many roles, as a responsible and dedicated parental unit, is to write notes to teachers. These notes must be succinct, engaging, informative, sincere. They must convey sufficient authority as to be convincing, to gain sympathy, but not to suggest that the student has a free pass for every sniffle, for every broken pencil. Do not under any circumstance libel label yourself as the dread: Helicopter Parent!

I wrote a good one. I think so. Even though I was up in the pre-dawn, trying to Google help for a Dell computer emitting four rapid beeps (the beeps mean something... who knew?!) Anyways, I like totally wrote a good note. I think it covered the points, made a clear case for forgiveness, clarified our demands request, and was mostly free of major spelling errors. (Patting self on the back.)

Maybe I shouldn't have had the real coffee this morning.

Anyway. Many of the blogs that I read, bloggers that I am in awe of... they post tutorials, helpful lessons in crafting and parenting, how-to's that make lives better. And it occurred to me that my note could help some other mom or dad, faced with the same or a similar crisis. I tried to make this a PDF file, so you could upload it, print it, use it often, but this proved to be a task beyond my capabilities (it was only a half-caf coffee... my super powers seem to be waning already). Below is the note. I changed the names, to protect the innocent because I don't want to get in trouble with the principal. So. Copy it. Use it. Live long and prosper. May the force be with you.

___Horatio_______________ 's (insert name of industrious, honest, brilliant student here) first and second period teachers:
______Horatio_________(same student name, let's be consistent) completed, and saved, school work on our home computer, but unfortunately this computer died overnight.

_____Bill Gates______________(insert name of authoritative sounding parental/guardian unit here) is working to revive the machine, but in the meantime ________Horatio_________ (same darling student) is short on time to replace assignments s/he cannot yet retrieve.

I am asking you to please allow her/him library time and access to a school computer so that s/he can make an attempt at replacing those missing assignments. I apologize for the inconvenience, and I know you can appreciate the aggravation of living in this modern age.

To ____Horatio______'s (same grateful student) teacher(s) anticipating assignments from ______Horatio________: (still the same college bound scholar) I hope you can allow for a delay, as s/he has in earnest endeavored to complete her/his homework, but has been beleaguered by technological retrogression. The fault really is with our computer.


_________Mrs. Betty Orpington Gates____________________
Concerned (dedicated, exhausted, confused, absent, perky, hovering, exuberant etc...) Parent

**WOW: word of the week**
Retrogression: return to a former and less complex level of development or organization. Also known as: computer error.


nikkipolani said...

Ah. "Technological retrogression" -- is THAT what's happening behind that gleaming rectangle. I think with a little modification, I could use your note at work. Thanks!

Natalie said...

Totally legit: I went straight to the thesaurus for that one! It is my honor to help whenever and wherever I can!

judy in ky said...

Brava! Perfect! I think you should be some kind of ambassador.

Janece said...

You make me laugh - which is so welcome on a Monday... and Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and ...

One of the many reasons I love you!

mtnchild said...

I wonder if I would have been a better student if we had computers (and problems) in the "olden days" ... LOL

Natalie said...

Oh! It's so much funny laughing with friends!

warren said...

You could print out a stack of those and just have them waiting near know, computer problems always return!