Thursday, September 24, 2020

New Season

September 19
It's a new season, I remind myself. Autumn. Fall. I remind myself that I love this time of year, that we should decorate, bake, make gifts for neighbors, plan new ways of celebrating. Fall. Fall, I whisper, hoarsley horsly horsely horesy... no autocorrect. I am doomed. No energy, either. No heart for pumpkin spice, nor buffalo checks, wheat staffs, hot mugs of steam. For most of this year, and probably my life, I have sought comfort and found pleasure in seasons, in traditions, and sharing, in tamales at Christmas, and pumpkin displays in November. I have healed heartache with old movies, and twinkle lights, redoubled my resolve playing favorite tunes, watching for any change in the leaves, the light, the temperature.

Metaphorically, Geoff skipped Fall entirely, and went straight for Christmas! The laser is here. Have I said anything about a laser? Yes. I mentioned his preparing for its arrival, and now it's here. We've been working on this for quite some time. Geoff has the happy gift of focus... laser focus, if you will. He's over the moon. We are all excited, but let's not kid, no one is as involved, intent, delighted, inspired, motivated, or engrossed as Geoff. We had to, all seven of us, lift the 500lb beauty, onto the frame he welded and painted for her... by the way, her name is Phoebe. Phoebe the Flame Princess. He built the the frame to fit around cabinets, to save space. She needs to stay raised above open space to accomodate the drive belt underneath her. Bambi made her some Phoebe art badges and Geoff cut those in vinyl. Packages arrive, and I shouldn't even have to ask, because the answer will almost always be, It's for Phoebe. She has good taste, in goggles, and vents, compressors.

I missed getting a picture when Lucas was playing. Alex and Corey, brothers, can sit together, and between them and Max are two plexiglass shields. Alex and Max made those in our shop. They're great for safe gaming. Geoff and I have met for BYOB, Bring Your Own Breakfast, with Janece and Paul, using our handy sneezeguards. I got lost in thought, wondering what more I could say about this... about COVID, social isolation, a pandemic, 200,000 deaths in the United States, alone, a "president" that knew what was coming and lied, only ever lies. But, it's all been said, right?

Everytime I sit down to post, I resolve to focus on the positive, highlight what's good, what's beautiful. And then I think. I cannot think and then only post flowers and cake recipes. I cannot read, process, listen, observe, and reason, without being sickened, appalled, and ashamed. A few years ago, when people raised concerns about fascism, others objected about sensationalizing, and hyperbole. And everyday since Janaury 20th, 2017, he has obfuscated, lied, backpedaled, and twisted words, meaings, statements, intention, so that "Normal" is chaos, confusion, misdirection, and we are numb, dazed. Even the most vigilant against his schemes can hardly keep up with all of the crimes, misdeeds, and corruption. Now he can openly, clearly declare his purpose, and as stunning, as blatantly false, unethical, immoral, or illegal... he pays no consequence. He is, evidently, everything his base adores and admires. What's to stop him? Law? Reason? Human decency? Not so far. Here is fascism, not at our shores, or looming... fascism is in the White House, embraced in the Senate, funded by corporations, coddled by Evangelicals, racists, and deplorables. This is a sad, dark season, indeed.

Crud. Too much thinking. I hope voting will be enough to... well, not to "fix everything." Everything was never going to be perfect, but I want to keep options open, hope and progress alive. I want a balanced house, senate, and judiciary. I want us to be setting goals, meeting to build from plans, serve citizens, debate and reason. I want Ranked Choice voting, justice for Breonna Taylor, for Black men and women, children. I want everyone healthy, educated, and with real choices, real opportunites. I want the good things shared, and the hard things to be met with empathy, compassion. I want, at least, to stop debating and hating on essential truths, and to actually be laser focused on addressing climate change, racism, poverty, healtchcare, gun safety.
September 20
September 21
It really is a new season. Fall, comes, ready or not. And I am sick, and tired. I am in a beautiful family, surrounded by beauty, and opportunity. I see it, everyday. I am thankful. I meant to write more. More about Fall, and seeds I hope to plant, the dishes Maria is learning to cook, what we will do when the laser is all set up, how the wall is coming along. I want to decorare, bake, and make the best of things. There is so much to be done, but first a nap... and maybe I will come back, after awhile, and say something about ink and paint, the soft light of autumm, and waking up to morning fog hovering over my head.
September 22
September 23


Carolyn said...

Thank you so much for your post! The pictures, the words, the emotion, your family - you are all amazing. I only wish more people could see the world as you all do. It is difficult to find hope in all of the heartache of this country, but we absolutely cannot give in to fascism and evil!

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

What a generous message to wake up to. Thank you, Carolyn.
How, or where, are you finding hope? It's difficult to keep my emotions and reactions from plummeting. I have never had any interest in testing the depths of despair. These times, events, are exhausting. We will, we must, hold each other up, taking turns, and being hope and light for one another.

gretchenjoanna said...

The egg, the pear: perfection. Lovely to contemplate, thank you.

Do you feed feijoas to the chickens? Lucky birds!! I have yet to get a ripe fruit this year, the the current heat wave may help.

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

The egg, the pear... nature has the best textures, shapes, colors! So much beauty to behold!
Yeah, those birds, the goats too, are pretty lucky, and maybe a bit spoiled. We had such a ridiculous haul with our feijoas, and when I raked up yet another bucketful, I decided to let them have a treat. Last year was a bust for our feijoas. This year, everyone got some!