Thursday, January 28, 2021

Never Boring... mostly

I feel embarrassed and apologetic about yesterday's post, because it was boring. I don't think it represented boring things, but I admit I wasn't feeling open, expressive. It's funny how much transparency and candor it takes to create compelling posts, yet while reaching for that level of directness, I am also trying to retain privacy, not be too revealing reptitive, exacting. My children are of an age when their lives and stories are more their own than ever, so I want to avoid speaking for them. I am painfully aware that I have probably mentioned the collision five or more times too many, and that's a difficulty, because I have also been remarkably restrained, relative to the events and transactions still current and consuming. We don't go any where. We don't entertain, travel, or even dress up, much. If I want to be frank about any subject it should be that it's probably dull as toast around here, and I likely shouldn't be blogging so often, if at all. I thought of all of this, and more, which led to other considerations, like why blog, why publish, how or why has this become a compelling habit? Old, oft posed questions, which invariably draw me to other, oft posed conclusions... I should retire from blogging, blogging has not been particularly successful, blogging is a raw and intimate exercise that leaves me exposed, vulnerable, and in serious doubt of myself, blogging is embarrassing.
Maria's first assignment for Creative Writing was an essay on why she chose to take Creative Writing, and we talked about that. The first and obvious answer has to do with the teacher that taught the class, the one Max liked so well. He's not teaching the class this time. Maria talked about writing, about how it makes her feel, and how she hopes to improve her skills. We talked about art, and how both art and writing can be consuming, and can also come to an immediate halt sometimes, or sometimes, like with my last post, not be compelling or very interesting, turn out to be lacking. She agreed that she can become blocked with writing, or art, but that it's rare with art. With art, she explained, she feels a continuity a more fluid ease about practicing, with engaging. From here, we launched into talking about future studies, colleges, plans, hopes, careers. She found an online career counseling test, and we both took it. I still remember taking one of these, on paper, in high school, and it came back suggesting I try hospital administration, and that still amuses me. Her top results included choreographer, interpreter and different fields in art direction and animation. Another online test gave her a preview of its conclusions, including a very promising description of her qualities that will lead her to lucrative career options, then they asked for money to reveal the rest of the results, and we laughed about that one. Maria shared that she understands my impulse to stop blogging, then asked, "Do you want to stop writing, though?" I can't stop writing, I replied, confirming what she already suspected.
"Write for yourself, then. And I know I used to ask you to keep it public, but that's not necessary. Keep writing, and maybe don't publish. But I hope you'll still share it with me." Suddenly, I am the one getting the career counseling. I have strong ideas about where I see her strengths and skills, but I will keep those to myself... I don't like to put my foot in it, to influence with too much bias. I am sure, without wanting to, I have already shown plenty of hints, inferences, and partiality. I rather like, for her, this time for her to feel like anything is possible, to imagine and discover, project, and reject, many options, and flavors. And! And maybe the one thing I will remind her is that in a good life, anything will always be possible, that no career or path is fixed forever, and learning is a lifetime gift. But, I am pretty sure she knows that, already.
It's not really dull as toast here. I mean, it's not wildly adventurous, and there are people and things we miss, but I like toast. I like long talks, and online quizzes, I like cats, the smell of cut limes, starting new hobbies, going back to old hobbies, and I like writing. I love taking pictures, imagining adventures, recalling travels, events. I am thinking of buying software that will turn my pictures, or drawings, any image, into a cross-stitch diagram, complete with DMC floss color suggestions! I could cross-stitch my very own ratty-rats, or some of my little galleries of animal families. Geoff, watching me cross-stitch, pondered this... "I think I could program Frankenrouter to do that." Geoff is never bored, ever.


Teresa Kasner said...

I blog because I descend from those who wrote so that family stories would not die with them. I have decided that I am a photo-journalist via my blog. I am an artist and and so I take my photos using my artistic eye. Then I use my writing skills to tell my stories.

And it's a habit now. LOL! ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

That is wonderful motivation! I love it! And, I can say... I am so glad that I took the time to write stories, include photos, because I cannot believe how many times we go through our own archives to jog our memories, to revisit places we visited, things we participated in, and I always find something I forgot all about! I love your photographs... all in all, it is a good habit! Teresa, I am counting myself lucky to know you, because you bring such a cheerful perspective wherever you go!