a very big adventure, in my head. I enjoy a lot of big adventures, and ideals in my head, like being tidy, and fit, writing novels, painting daydreams, visiting the Red Woods with all of my loved ones, organizing a holiday closet, with a cupboard just for table cloths, giving away bicycles, and building things, ideas, dreams. I let a pocketful of Smarties go through the wash, the dryer. I can't remember names, or the very important things on the list I made of very important things. I can't find the list. Physics is her favorite science subject, and I will just write that down, as though it were in her baby book of milestones and memories.
Max has loved both physics and math, as well as poetry, welding, forging, mentoring, teaching, Magic the Gathering, cooking, and music. I have something special to share. Max's internship is almost over. He has been programming for a gaming company all summer. It's been from home, with online activities for socialization, but mostly a lot of challenging experiences, learning new languages, and about corporate culture. This has been special enough, but the latest news is that he was offered the chance to stay, as a contract employee. He's accepted the offer. He's happy, and he's coping as he grows... graphics programmer was never his plan, or dream. He's always been diligent and focused on the task at hand: school, the next class, the next assignement, but without much certainty about what might come next, what could be possible. I shouldn't give the impression that he didn't think about these things, it's only that he wasn't committed to a particular career path. Now he is immersed in a field that is challenging, interesting, and gives him an opportunity to put into practice the skills and instincts he has to reason, to create, to solve problems, and share ideas, concepts, solutions. For my part, I love that he landed some place where he can put his skills to use, apply them and enjoy cutting edge opportunities to learn more, and all of this in an environment where he is appreciated by smart people who are considerate, creative, supportive, and encouraging.
It's his journey now, I know, and I am at risk of over-stepping... I don't assume I know everything he thinks or feels about this, but as a Mom, as someone who has been in his corner, advocating, hopeful, I feel joy, I feel relief, and gratification for this outcome. At some point our children, and all of the good and hard things we navigate with them, become seperate from us. For some families this is easier, or more defined... like when their children turn 18, or go off to college. When there is neurodiveristy involved, Autism, the lines blurr, the timeline will not be typical. We have always had to make our own way, and Max has honored me with an open, respectful, appreciative relationship. I don't intend to overshare what is his story, his personal details, but I will mark this time as meaningful to me, because we have come to a very good, and hard won place, overcoming societal obstacles, roadblocks, and challenges. Autism, in the end, was never as difficult to live with, as what the world expected, or refused to accomodate. It's no small accomplishment that Max is where he is, and after everything, this moment is sweeter than many could imagine.
So good! Hard-earned rewards, sweet moments to savor.
Thank you, Ruth... for this comment, and especially for all of the many ways you have been loving, supportive, and available. Caring family and friends make all the difference in the world.
I can't believe that Maria is so grown-up. It's good that she lingers ... My little girl is 35 and my boys close behind her, all in their 30's. How did that happen? And life goes on - which, as my mother used to say - is better than the alternative! Long may it last and long may we, as mothers enjoy those special moments ...
Val, hello! Thank you for stopping by. I feel it, too, the disbelief about our "little girl." If we were at a table, sharing tea, you would see my look of mock shock, but with real feeling... it does all happen too quickly. I have a 30 year old son! In another year we will be a household of all adults, and yet I still haven't cleared all of the toddler clothes from Maria's closet. (I am picturing the cute skirts I sewed for her, and had planned to lengthen, or some such nonsense!) Yes, long may these days last, when we can enjoy being mothers, and watching our young folks make their way, grow, and go on! It's nice to catch up with you. I am popping over to read your new blog post.
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