We are golden
And we've got to get ourselves
Back to the garden
There's been no time to figure out how to get the iMac to download pictures. The only method that works is so slow and plodding, so ridiculous, that I cannot bear it... and there is no time. Sigh. Trivial frustration.
This has been the kind of week that is both tragic and affirming. The death of a friend has left us stunned and sad, and we are doing all we can to ease the grief of his family.
Every time I feel overwhelmed or frustrated with the usual chores and obligations, the things I have to get done, I feel horrible and guilt-ridden, because of course too much laundry, clutter on the stairs, losing track of this and that, is nothing compared with losing a loved one.
And still I am faced with the usual things... so, I sigh and give thanks, because life is full, and the details and duties go hand in hand with the blessings. We cannot always keep pace with our work, our dusting and filing... and really, in the best of circumstances I am not very good at keeping-up. Does it matter? A bit, yes. Mostly I just want to pull over and appreciate the flowers growing along the roadside, like I did on our road trip.
I am not on a long drive now, like last week. I stopped to see horses, elk, tractors and geese. I stopped to look for agates and really wasn't even sure what I was looking for. (Agates on beaches are not labeled "Pick me up, I am an Agate!") I cannot park the car, get out and peek into a roadside thrift shop or stand amid redwoods and breath in tree scented air, so instead I sew a little and clean a little, I cook a little and write a little, and I look around for Geoff and I hold his hand a lot.
So much is left unsaid. My mind wanders. My heart is heavy. Everything will be okay, in time.