For a vacation?
For an educational and fun packed long weekend?
How can we sanitize the house adequately enough, to leave it in the hands of people we know and love,
and leave all of our furry and feathered friends in their care, and then just dash away on our adventure?
I had anxiety, stress, worry, self-conscious-psycho-hoopla-babble, and a knot in my guts.
Every effort to put the house in exceptional order was derailed by some crisis, or another. Daily life here is full enough, and mustering the energy and time to get us over into The Land of Deep Cleanliness, Organization, and Serenity is a nearly improbable feat, for me, anyway. I do want to go to there, to TLODCOS, The Land of Deep Cleanliness, Organization, and Serenity, but I stray, I lose my way, stuff happens,
Oops! Not sure it's proper to use "boredom" as an excuse for not having our Bird House in better order, but, well, it's out there now... so, come on... can we agree there is some mind-numbing stuff related to being a domestic goddess? And also, I resent the fact that as soon as the house is half way decent someone invariably decides to walk in and start something!! But, I cannot deny, I would much rather chase goats, write blog posts, bake bread, tutor Spanish, proof-read essays, build garden beds, make something, teach sewing... than hang clothes, or shred credit card solicitations. Yes, it's true, even I want to start something, more than I want to iron shirts.
Okay. Never mind all that. I had another purpose in mind for this post.
After Michael and Patricia came by, I now know the answer: We can go, by accepting the help and understanding of caring and compassionate friends, by trusting that dusty corners, and dirty laundry never really go away... not without sacrificing in some other area of life. We can make this trip because life is not simple, and messes aren't always about laziness or neglect. Some messes are about different priorities, and unforeseen circumstances, and choosing to do things rather than polish things. I have been genuinely and gently put at ease by my friends, and I even feel I am doing the universe a disservice by fretting so much about what I fail to achieve, when the truth is I am trying really hard to keep a lot of things safe, happy, engaged, and moving forward. I feel like Patricia and Michael see this, and accept me. A lot of people do, actually... I just need to turn down my own self-deprecating voice, and listen more carefully.
Dear Patricia, dear Michael,
Thank you. I know you will manage things, here, just fine, and this knowledge makes our trip to Maker Faire possible. It's not just that you've agreed to watch the cats, and feed the goats that helps me breath a sigh of relief, it's the kind things you tell me, the sincerity of how you reassure me, and make me feel like I am on a good path... these supportive gestures give me courage, and soothe my heart. I actually feel mellow! What a gift!
Enjoy the pool, though it's c-c-c-cold. Help yourselves to garden peas and spinach, fresh eggs. And thank you.
We want Michael and Patricia to come with us next year, to Maker Faire. So, I am thinking we need to build a Gypsy wagon that we can tow with our Green Goose, and in the wagon, we can bring all the chicas, goats, cats, the bunny, the automatons. Geoff? Geoff, what do you think? I think I am starting something...