Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Stuck in Place

Butt glue. It is a phrase uttered periodically around our home to express profound laziness and lack of ambition. The expression goes something like this: "I can't answer the phone, I've got butt glue." Also, one might hear: "Could you pass me the catalog from the living room? I can't get up. Butt glue." I think for some people the symptoms may sound familiar, but their condition has simply gone undiagnosed.

I've got a bad case right now. My head is spinning with a 'to do list' that rivals the density of a phone directory. But, I am fixed to my seat. I can't or won't get up, and there isn't a reasonable explanation for my lack of motivation, so it must be the glue. I don't want to clean or organize, or correspond or finish projects or start anything.

There are some bills that require my attention and the truck has passed the cluttered phase; it needs serious detoxing. We could be getting passports, for 'just in case.' I could prepare paper work, to refinance our mortgage. The cabinet by the front door needs purging, and I have about 300 bulbs that want planting. It is reasonable to assume that the children will hope to be fed soon or that the dryer will buzz and demand that I come and fold laundry. Call the dentist, floss, photocopy family pictures, fill albums, finish quilt, sort boy's clothes, clip cat claws, finish assembling out door lights, fix the mail box.

Blahhh. Somebody find me a Solvent, or a Jumbo Spatula with Catapult Action. I need Lift. I need Oomph.

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