Monday, February 04, 2008

Everyday Life 30 :: 29

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, the prayers.
We are absorbing all of it, putting one foot in front of the other, and slowly facing the new day.

It rained so hard yesterday. And the wind whistled through the house and left the yard strewn with leaves. The children and I had no place to go, so we played quietly at home, cleaned and reflected.
And it rained in Honoka'a, where for months and months it has been very dry, where the water tank that fills with rainwater has been sitting empty for a long time. The water tank is full now. The water gauges overflow. So much rain. The heavens bursting. Clouds torn apart. It's hard not to believe someone had a hand in this.

Saturday morning we were out together, enjoying the first day of Geoff's freedom from the long, arduous hours he has been working. We had decided to mix business with pleasure, taking a trail hike before going to have a tire fixed on our GreenGoose. We were at the trailhead, looking for the peacocks that live at the public rancho, when Geoff got the call. We had renewed our resolve that morning... it was to be a fresh start, a recommitment to our goals, and we were feeling so happy. He only had to say, "No," hearing this, seeing the pain spread across his being, I knew something was terribly wrong. Something irrevocable. I did not want to know who died. I wanted to know who was safe.

I still will not type the name. I have been keeping a mixed record of our days here... sometimes being trivial and pointless, sometimes ranting or whining, often sharing and recording the joyful, momentous and distinct events in our lives. We have come to appreciate Chickenblog as a chronicle of our days, so much so that it would be remiss of me not to mention these days, what we are coping with now. But I cannot write it out. Not yet. It's true: I am in denial. It hurts just slightly less, if I don't say his name. I'm sorry. I don't know if we will ever come back, years from now, and read this post. It won't be strange or confusing... we will remember the loss, who we miss so terribly.

Tomorrow will the 30th day of the Everyday Life posts, and I will be with the children, on our way to be with Geoff, his sister and their mother. Everyday Life was supposed to be 30 days of pictures that reflect a focused view of the details of our daily lives... including the little things we don't always take particular notice of or record. Looking through the archives, I can see we have had some remarkable days, and we have had some very quiet days which is a blessing too. Cooking, cleaning, playing, working, nature, the messes and the active play of our imaginations... all part of our everyday lives. Today we are coming to terms with death, another part of life.

Today we are anticipating a birth... isn't it poignant? Our dear friends, James and Deanne are having a baby today. It's so wonderful. *Update: I had to go see him. Never mind packing and cleaning... there's a new baby to welcome. Mother and father are well, and Parker is as cute as can be.

Aloha nui loa


  1. How we will miss our dearly beloved Corm. A man of gently kindness. A man with an artist's soul and a deep love of learning. How we will miss our dearly beloved Corm.

  2. Such beautiful 'familia' photos.

    So sorry Natalie. XO Village Mama

  3. I'm so sorry, Natalie. How your heart must ache at this loss. Your family is in my prayers.

  4. I am so sad for your family's loss of a well-loved man.

    Peace, love and happy memories, thanks for sharing the beautiful photos.

    Look back, do look back, with love.

  5. I didn't have time to read anyone else's blog today but I felt a strong need to read yours. Now I know why. Oh, my heart goes out to you and your family in this time of loss. I will hold you close in prayers to Him that you will heal and come to a spot of loving remembrance. He will always be with you in your heart and those of your family.

  6. Natalie and Geoff,
    We were deeply saddened to hear of your loss. I lost my father unexpectedly to a heart attack two years ago this spring. It is numbing, and you don't know how life will ever be the same. We will continue to pray for your families and that our Lord would bring you all comfort and peace.
    Love, Gil and Marcia & boys

  7. Oh Natalie, my heart's aching for you and your family right now. I'm so sorry to hear of this news. Remember the good memories and I hope that your sadness ebbs away.

  8. Natalie,

    I am so sorry. I hope the memories you have help lessen your heartache. Prayers of peace for you all.


  9. I'm so sorry for your loss, my Natalie! I pray that God will comfort your heart and Geoff's.
    Much love from Tina.

  10. Natalie I am so sorry for you loss...I hope that in time and prayer, peace will be with you and your family. May you find comfort in the love that surrounds you from many near and far. My heart and prayers go out to you all. A new child, a new life--how wonderful! Isn't he a beauty...And what a gift at such time. Love you, my friend ((HUGS)) P.S. There's a surprise for you at my blog :o)

  11. So sorry to hear this...
    I wish you and your family all the strength you'll need in the time to come.

  12. There are no words, and yet, if I don't use words you won't know how very much you are all in our hearts and thoughts and prayers. So please, just know.

  13. I'm so sorry for your loss. Just scrolling through those photographs made me tear up, knowing that someone I don't even know has lost someone they dearly love. You are in my prayers.

  14. I'm so sorry for your loss, Natalie. Times like this are always the hardest, and you'll be in my prayers.

    Lots of love,

  15. So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with your family. Hugs!


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