Sunday, February 10, 2008


Posting from Hawaii... everyday I think about blogging and about what I could say. There hasn't been time to sit down and write, which is just as well, because I don't know what to say.

Weather: It rained and rained and rained, and the wind has been blowing too. It's been beautiful, in a forces of nature kind of way. And when the sky clears we can see stars upon stars, upon stars, which is beautiful too. Then today the sky was very clear, all day, and it was hot and humid too.

The Children: They have been quiet and sad, patient too, and also sick, especially Max. Max was throwing-up yesterday. He seems better today. Maria is homesick and kind of turned around about things... all the new faces and comings and goings, the solemn faces and crying. William and Alex have been helpful and mature.

Thank you so much for all of the support, prayers and kindness. We have been overcome with grief, and the love and concern people have extended to us has been encouraging and very helpful. All of my deep thoughts have been a mess muddled and confused, and I have been very sad thinking of things that were left unsaid... I guess, I just want to be sure to express my gratitude, my respect and affection for the family and friends in my life.

I am thinking what a poorly written post this is, and yet how well it reflects my state of mind... dazed, confused, turned around, tired and sleepy, very sad, uncertain.

Tomorrow I will tell you about rainbows, chickens, cane fields and plumeria leis. I hope I can post some pictures too... of a gardenia and a Christmas tree, and Maria dancing in the airport terminal. Life goes on.


Jennifer said...

It is reassuring to hear your voice here again, and the muddle, the jumble, the just kind of figuring out how to take it as it comes is a part of the process. Life does go on. There was never any doubt in our loved ones minds that we loved them, though taking from this experience the resolve to say it all the time -- love you love you love you -- means you're making good things come from tragic things. And that's the path to how we heal.

Mama Spark said...

I am so glad to hear your voice again! The beauty of life is that it does go on and therefore forces us to move along. Kind of a good plan when we are so sad. I agree with Jennifer. The people we love know that we love them and even now he knows you loved and love him. He will be around you all and in some way I bet you will know when he is! This is a sad time, but sometimes when we have times like these and the whole family is around it is a time to renew with those still living. You and your family will continue to be in my prayers!

Laura Jane said...

Thinking of you all, and missing your voice.

Hope the kiddos get well soon. Come home safely, if sadder

Tracy said...

So good to see you here, Natalie...That you all are, slowly, coming back to the surface :o) May time's healing magic touch you all. And may you all be keeping well. Looking forward to those rainbows! ((BIGGEST HUGS))

nikkipolani said...

Natalie, I've been thinking about you all week and about how you are all doing with the grief of loss. Thank you for posting. You know we still keep you in our prayers.

Janece said...

My sweet Natalie - my heart and thoughts are with you and your family. It's still so fresh within me what this kind of loss feels like. My prayers and love are with you.

Shay said...

Oh my dear. My heart goes out to you. I can't say anything else at this time but just know that our thoughts are with you and yours.