Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't Touch, That Squirrel's Nuts!

How do you write about being stressed-out, overwhelmed, sick, something of a wreck, kind of nuts, while being interesting and engaging?

Should one even share they're nuts?

Squirrel Friend: Hey, how are you?

Squirrel with Nut: I have been sick for three weeks, and spent the other night coughing hideously, and not sleeping. Everywhere I turn I see messes, projects, chores, and messes. My favorite ratty-rat in the whole wide world died. Oh, Pepper. I just noticed I may have been eating too many nuts, and I feel ashamed of my ready for winter body image. I have not found the courage to say a proper goodbye to our dear friends, who are moving too far away. The school district has decided to add online courses to the mix, and it is annoying. I paid money for a horrible SAT Bootcamp, that turned out to be unbelievably useless and offensive. I never rarely see my friends. I haven't been to my mom's in three years. The car, the dying one, is still dying, and unless I get it fixed tomorrow, I am going to be riding the bus. Two schools want whooping cough immunization records, and none of the children's cards are where I left them. I have too much crap stashed away in my hollow tree, and all I really want to do is sit by a cozy fire and make holiday ornaments.

Squirrel Friend: Are you nuts?!

Squirrel with Nut: Oh.
Well. Yeah.
I may be nuts.

Squirrel Friend: K. Well, you're sort of freaking me out, and also this is kind of boring. But, I understand, so go on. Tell me more, and I will try not to fidget nervously, or look at my smart phone, willing it to ring.

Squirrel with Nut: Look at my tail. Seriously. What is that all about? It's all spaZtic and fried looking. My toe is broken. Yup. Since the fourth of July I have been gimping along on a broken toe, and if I move it or touch it the wrong way it hurts. I have been seething, and appalled, at the death and destruction caused by people talking on their cell phones while driving. Who chooses to be so careless? I cannot muster the discipline to put papers in order, to face the duties of modern life, and the stress is making my thoughts gnaw away at my soul. I might have a teeny-tiny Boggle-Ap addiction, but I don't want to discuss that.

Squirrel Friend: I have nothing. To say.

Squirrel with Nut: Wait! Come back! There's more! I am not asking you to solve my problems, just tell me I am not actually nuts! Maybe you happen to know of a reliable, safe tail-hair tonic, something over-the-counter? Do you think I should trim it? Maybe I just need a nap, or a vacation. I know... the messes are a problem, and I should be be doing more, and asking more of the other squirrels. Hey! Look! I just found the camera battery charger! That's one from the list. I can check something off the list! This could be a sign. Thank you. Thank you for listening. I think this has been beneficial, our little talk. I am going back to the tree, to see what else I can clear up.


ArtyZen said...

We squirrels are intelligent, sensible creatures - it's not always easy - and if we don't keep on nibbling away all the time, chewing on hard things, gnawing at those nuts, our teeth just keep on growing. So we must never give up, never surrender. Axx - feeling a tad nutty myself at the moment.

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

(((hugs))) of gratitude for insight and compassion. Many thanks.

Rois said...

Oh good! Nice to know I am not alone in the nuts department.No illness here but lots of other insanity.

Shall we declare a holiday? National Go Nuts Day?

Hang in there.

judy in ky said...

You may be nuts, but you are never boring! I hope things calm down for you. I do know the feeling.

Marisa said...

I broke my toe once and it was HORRIBLE!!! Oh I hope it heals up quick for you.

unschool said...

Thank you for making nuttiness (which I can relate to on every front) sound sweet and kind of charming and very understandable. I love this post and the encouraging message within it. :)

Anonymous said...

It's actually wildly comforting, anytime we hear we're not the only nut-jobs out there. :)