My darling Waffle Iron,
As I reflect on our years together, twenty-three in all, I am moved to speak words of affection, gratitude, and to reflect happily on our time making waffley goodness. Ah, the laughter, the spills, the glow of your heat on light, your single function knob. You have been a good, and true friend. Waffle Iron, thank you. Thank you, from the heart of my bottom.
As a gift, the waffle iron thrilled me. It absolutely blew my mind. Could I not conceive of the idea of simply going into a store and buying one? I dunno... but few things have impressed me more with the idea of adulthood, maturity, sophistication, and sheer luckiness, than receiving this waffle iron. Not to diminish our vows, or the significance of our wedded bliss, but man... that was totally worth it!
A dragon lives in the waffle iron. He heats the whole thing up, so don't touch it! I would tell the children. Watch for the light, that tells you he's breathing fire, and now... watch for the smoke rising up. When the smoke is gone, I'll peek inside the dragon's lair. Slowly, I raised the lid and we peeked in, to see the finished waffle with the corners missing. And I would remind them, The dragon takes bites of the corners, as payment for baking our breakfast.
23 years and five months
4 brilliant children
1 dear husband
and some happily ever after