Behold, The Greatest Gift Is Gold

Happy Birthday, Alex!
You really are blessed with the greatest gifts...
humor, imagination, curiosity, intelligence, creativity, and great friends!
Solid gold!Door bell rings.
Long pause.
William, with awe and pleasure calls out, "Hey, Alex, I think you'd better come here..."
We all rush to the front door, and are met with the slain head of Smaug the Tyrannical! {And some of his booty!}

Truly, tales and songs fall utterly short of your enormity,
O Smaug the Stupendous...

I am strong, strong, STRONG! My armor is like tenfold shields!
My teeth are like swords! My claws, spears! The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt!
My wings, a hurricane! And my breath... DEATH!
Alas, poor Smaug has breathed his last, but he shall not have died in vain, and his glory will be honored when we fete Alex in Middle Earth!

{And who was the crafty warrior who delivered this treasure? A swift youth was seen riding off... and I Grant you he was fleet-footed, yet we have our suspicions.}