Wabi-sabi... imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete is the perfect description of my state of being, and blogging. It's all uncertainty, and missteps, wariness, and a timidity about most everything. But I am so fixed and determined on recovery, on reclaiming activities, making plans, feeling confident, overcoming.
I decided to begin simply, and without too much concern about what's left unsaid. I am frequently comparing myself with how I used to do things, or what I imagine I would have been doing, if... but that's only building up a wall, an obstacle that keeps me from trying anything. Maybe I have a new normal, maybe I will find my way back to before, but even as I type that, I can see that we never really do go back to before. It's March, a new year, and life is wabi-sabi.
So, here are some goats and chickens.
Mako, my darling girl. She still lays eggs, though she is nearly 6 years old.
Here is Emma Thompson leaving the nest, and Pepper, in line to lay her egg.
Right after the new year, the hens started laying again. I was surprised. I am still surprised. They were looking beleaguered and bedraggled in the fall, and I worried about how they would fare through the winter after such a messy molt. They are not young hens, and I assumed these would be their retirement days. Happily, the hens are plucky as ever. Neither their age, nor the weather has slowed them down.
Fiona, our buff orpington, went through a brief rough patch of her own, and I was concerned. She was unwell, and hardly ate. Now, she's back to her old self, and I am glad we will have our cheery, golden girl with us a while longer.
Hello, Liberty. She is just the same as when we named her. She is quiet and calm, and satisfied to go off on her own path, no bother to anyone.
Geoff is in San Francisco this week, so my technical hiccups with uploading photos will have to wait. I have tried to fix the problem, and as usually happens, I only succeed in stumbling upon more problems.
Max is taking his last final of winter quarter, and I will be bringing him home soon. Maria is ready to stay after school and participate in the Elective Fair for incoming students. She wore her Paradox uniform. Guess what... they earned a place at Championships! Yes, there's a lot we haven't kept up on, good things still to share. Alex is at work... he and Bambi are saving and preparing for their trip to Japan, later this spring. William has been 3d printing, and researching something he and Geoff are looking into... some other kind of 3d printer, a prospect that makes both of them light up.
9 comments:
Well, it looks like your fur and feathers bunch have done well through the winter. I have llamas, not goats, but the winter can make for less that happy animals generally. Though I am given to understand goats don't like wet feet. Actually, I can't blame them, having had a leak in my snow boot this last season! :) Lovely pics!
Cat
ME ENCANTAN ESTOS ANIMALES!!!
Y EL ENTORNO PRECIOSO.
SALUDITOS
So glad you are back.
Natalie, you are the best. I am walking a similar walk since a bad accident in December. Never had this anxiety before, but so comforted by your sharing . Love and beauty and humor (goat expressions) are the best help. Thanks for blogging, it really touches some of us.
My goats don't seem to like wet "anything." The rain makes them sad. Are llamas less particular about the rain? Thank you, Cat... I hope winter, and leaky snow boots are all behind you, now. Happy Spring!
Gracias, Alicia, y feliz primavera~
How sweet of you to say, Cynthia, thank you.
A bad accident? December, too? I am so sorry. Anxiety is awful... especially when I determine to "get over it, move on," because the symptoms, the effects just rear up as though from nowhere, suddenly, and mercilessly, and I feel trapped by it. I hope you are finding good resources to help you. I tend to shy away from outside help, but this time I am doing all I can to heal, and it makes me feel such deep concern and caring for anyone that cannot get counseling, or have physical therapy. My therapist uses this wonderful ointment with a fragrance I love, and it's kind of hilarious to me to feel lousy and sad, but then get a warm and happy feeling over ointment. If I could, I would prescribe everyone's favorite scented ointment and a good shoulder rub to everyone in the world. Thank you for sharing with me, Cindy.
I LOVE your animals, especially the goats. Your pictures of them made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing and I hope your path to healing is getting easier with each passing day. You and your family deserve happiness.
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