Friday, February 26, 2021

Miasma


On Tuesday I began the Fiberuary Challenge... answering daily prompts, through the month of February, about myself as a fiber artist.

And. Yeah, no. It's looking like I am not going to finish that. I enjoy seeing everyone else's posts, but... I don't know. Did I bore myself? Possibly. Am I self-conscious, mildly depressed, sort of floundering? Something makes me want to throw in the word miasma. (Goes to dictionary.) Why yes, that could work. There is a miasma of weariness encircling my space, a vibe that trembles tumultuosly. If anxiety is as catching as a virus, it would be a kindness for me to move over to a personal journal, and step away from the blog. I have this compulsion to rationalize, to make a list of the things that are pebbles in my shoe, to self-analyze. I am not so close to this impulse that I cannot see how tedious I would be, scratching at the same spot, impetuously twitching, pulling at threads.

It's time to sort this box out, again. The first time I re-organized it, I'd only done two or three little projects. I've lost count of how many things I've stitched up since then. It's a mess. I'll do that. I'll take everything out, and re-wind the flosses, toss the myriad little snips, sort the tools, and stack the scraps. It is a very small thing. It will be a very small thing. There is so much more that needs doing. But there it is... my plan. First cadio with Bounce Bhangra, then make the sewing box tidy, and finally go through all of the eggs the hens are laying and share those, because we have more than we need.

And. Maybe call the attorney. But that's likely pointless. I never mentioned, but I may as well... my insurance came back with a settlement offer that is less than 20% of what they promised, of what I have paid to be covered for. It took them 11 months and regularly asking me for paperwork and signatures, letters, and evidence to come up with that. I turned them down, on principle, because it hurts to feel devalued, and lied to. Eighteen months ago, I thought we were a few months from walking away from all of this, for good. Ha!
Ok... stick with the plan. Diana and I are about to Bounce, then I will straighten out that little box, and make things right. Next, the eggs. I am going to be like an Easter bunny, and deliver eggs!

3 comments:

Teresa Kasner said...

Your angel is looking good.. I will look forward to see you fill her in and give her dimension and personality. I'm sure you'll be happy with your tidied up sewing box. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

Thank you, Teresa. She's something I started and set aside years ago. And you zeroed right in on my challenge: Dimension! I am stumped... what I wish I'd done at the start is an appliqué for her gown. I am still giving it some thought. Bur I did straighten out the box!

Janece said...

The blue embroidery is gorgeous, Natalie. The color (so rich and yummy!) and the graceful movement that you created are wonderful.

20%? Deep, heavy sigh. :/

Did you work any more on your star-bearing beauty? I love the lines of her hair!