Orchard Gifts

Apricots and plums. Apples too. The fruit trees along the driveway are full of ripening fruit. I have been expectant, waiting for the plums to deepen, the apricots to soften. I have anticipated enjoying fresh sweetness from garden trees. I know the apples will be ready in early fall, but today I ate an apricot and it was good. Yesterday I tried a plum, perhaps a day too soon, but it was very good. Passions and desires, the cravings of a pregnant woman are strange and undeniable. I need to touch the delicate peachy fuzz of the blushing apricots, and I delight in the abundance of the plum tree; its fruit is dark and hazy with a grey dust. When I glide my thumb across the skin, the fog is lifted and its plum red shines.

It's opening day of Cheap Plastic Pool Season! It's a feeling that comes over me. A compulsion seizes my senses, and I must float. The beach is crowded, often times polluted, and too difficult to manage with three boys moving at different paces. There are no public pools. There is a private/club pool, but it lacks backyard spontaneity, and casual indifference to unfashionable bathing attire. This leaves no choice, but to scan the Target aisles for a cheap plastic pool. There are several options. I've been too spoiled by the real thing to settle for the molded plastic 6.99 variety, but the 15' Family Adventure Pool is a big commitment. Inflatable could be risky. There is another kind with stiff vinyl sides, but I'm not sure what size it comes in. Well, I doubt I could float in anything but the Family Adventure Pool, but 8'-12' could get us all cool and refreshed.

It's hot today, but June is a fickle month. We are more likely to have overcast days and foggy mornings until July, which means our pool will be a very cold puddle, attractive only to fallen leaves and mosquitos. But Cheap Plastic Pool Season never listens to reason! Geoff advises me to get the cheapest Cheap Plastic Pool; he knows it will be an algae coated eyesore by September. Point taken.

I'm a harmless dreamer. Just thinking about pool shopping has me so fatigued and nauseous I can't proceed.

The truth is, there is not much in my life so uplifting or inspiring as the smiling sheep. I just love the hopeful look of contentment in that grin. I love the way he looks assured of good things to come.

Gag, I've been feeling wiped out and dragged about.

Toothbrushing...doing it, hearing it, thinking about, makes me want to throw up.

Max: Brush my teeth...
Me: No, mi'jo. You're a big boy. Brush your own teeth.
Max: You do it. You do it. You do it.
Me: I can't. It makes mommy barfy.
Max: Well, if you always feel barfy, then it won't matter if you brush my teeth anyway.

Just look at the sheep. He's got way more interesting stuff going on.

For your viewing pleasure: smiling sheep...



I'm so getting one of these.

Mini-Sheep

Alex is enrolled in the same Drawing Fundamentals class as William. They go once a week for two hours. Alex's favorite subjects are mechanical, and architectual. He has been drawing gears and levers, and creating factories and inventions since he could hold a pencil.


Spaceships and robots are frequent subjects in Alex's art.


Here is a character from a favorite video game, Zelda.


This is a portrait of their instructor, Eric. Alex isn't very proud of this one. I was impressed, because I've never seen him attempt a portrait.

Wisdom through humor, from Laura M.


Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in
labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes! Pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

William's Art

Sketch of a bust, by William, done the first day of class.



Finally. I have been meaning to share the boy's art school: Watts Atelier-Atelier of the Fine Arts. And also show off some of the stuff they've been doing. These are William's sketches. Each student gets instruction and guidance, while their personal style and interests are encouraged. William says he's influenced by anime; a style seen in Japanese comic and gaming art.

We ran out of shampoo. Completely without suds, and I had the clarity to see the solution and take action. This may, to those unfamiliar with 24 nausea, seem like little reason to get excited. It is perhaps a very small breakthrough, but I feel a subtle rush of pride when I think of how I went to Target and bought shampoo. I felt strong enough to buy maternity bloomers, dental floss, cat food, and two cushions for our outdoor chairs. Trust me, I am not too boastful. I know this isn't one of those inspirational Lance Armstrong kind of stories, but in my own way I have stepped in to the light, and I have crossed a finish line. We will be clean! That is all. I need to lie down now.

Okay. It's Tuesday.

Julie, I found the letter you sent me almost a month ago, and I loved reading it, and I even imagine answering it someday. It's a real letter, in an envelope. It came in the mail.

Debbie, I hear there's a change in plans. Sounds like a lot to figure out. I hope you guys come up with a happy and comfortable plan.

..my mind works this way these days: I have deep thoughts and marvelous ambitions, and my intentions are good too, but action is not forthcoming. I made breakfast and feel triumphant. I showered, and kept my breakfast; another success. In a moment I will force the boys to produce pages of arithmetic, and elaborated sentences, while I sit in a chair by the open door. I cannot account for where the days go, but the minutes are quite lengthy. I think of the people I love, and how I want to visit them, chatting endlessly about anything. I think of how badly I want to replace the carpet in our bedroom, and shift the computer desk and sideboard, so we can make room for Max's big boy bed. It takes a great deal of faith and some surrendering to get through morning sickness. Soon, it will be a Tuesday again, and I'll be feeling better. I may drop by and visit with you.

Nothing new. Still feeling fetid and light headed. Yesterday I had fruit and some spinach omelet for breakfast, and lost it. I had albondigas with vegetables and broth for lunch, and lost it. I had a homemade broccoli and crab quiche for lunch the sequel, and lost it. By dinner time I managed to eat one third of a turkey hot dog with tons of generic yellow mustard. Mmm mmm good.

Okay, so this is all rather gross and demoralizing. How about reader contributions? Send some gossip, chisme, news, my way. Pass a joke along, or a very meaningless link to something shallow and humorous.

My mom wrote me this morning, saying "It's awfully quiet in blogland." Blogland is Barfland. There's no prettier way to phrase it. I should take her suggestions seriously: 1. Photo-document said barfing for future reference and 2. Freeze small baggy of barf for aversion therapy when contemplating 5th child. She also sent me a beautiful pair of bracelets and earrings, in a barf bag. It's a Good Thing.

A few weeks ago, when I could still think with both eyes open, I imagined that I could be a super journalist and record all my feelings and great insights as a woman in the beautiful state of pregnancy. I thought I would be so fluent and poetic about the natural and magical moments of my condition, that a book would take form. Reality: answering the phone makes me nauseous, it's easier to throw up potato chips than Lean Cuisine, my "good" time of day is between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m., and it's taking me 7 minutes to finish this sentence.

I have Mother's Day gifts for Delia and Ruth, and some things I've been meaning to send to Bill and Alison. I did remember to pay the rent, and I am still teaching the boys. We are learning to read graphs, and about nutrition. I can load the dishwasher, and I have even cooked some meals. Yesterday Max and I started a list of things we missed. He asked if these are lost things, and I explained that they are just things we haven't done, but we will do when my stomach is less cranky. The list includes, going to the duck park, camping, and riding his bicycle down the big hill. We'll get there.

Grandma Nancy's Garden Quilt

Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to my mom, and Geoff's mom, to our grandmothers, and aunts, to the women who've loved us and cared for us and contributed to our lives. Geoff and I have this amazing wealth of mothers in our lives. We have had the special blessing of knowing our own mothers, as well as our grandmothers, and even great grandmothers. I have dear aunts who have nurtured and encouraged me, and family friends, such caring women, that they were mothers too. My own mother gave me life and sustained me; she also made room in my world for a million experiences and opportunities from other women, other perspectives. This has been enriching, like a tapestry, or quilt that is of many pieces but bound to together by thoughtful gestures and secure threads. All the moms we have known have made us better, happier, and more beautiful. I hope that our lives and our deeds are a respectful and gracious reflection of the love those women have given us.

And I would like to thank all the moms, the caring women in our lives, that enrich my own children's lives. You make my life better, and you make the lives of my sons better. Thank you for your thoughtful gestures, gifts, kind encouragement, patience, and support. Thank you for reminding them to say "thank you." Thank you for knowing their strengths, as well as their weaknesses, and accepting them wholly. Thank you for sharing your skills and points of view, your time and love. We appreciate you very much.