Wednesday, May 14, 2003

We Are Home

And the chicas, grandparents, cats and rabbits are well. And the flowers are still blooming and everything is pretty much the same, except that now I have

a new sister and my brother is a husband, and my heart is quite a bit fuller.

We may be in our house, but emotions have me pondering, and I wonder whether this really is our home. I feel homesick for what used to be...for the dinners with my mother and brothers, for the days together and the laughter, and just knowing someone who knows me, and has known me for a very long time, is only a short ride away. I don't want the connection I share with my family to fade or slip away, because of the miles we spend apart. And this wedding is a powerful reminder that new ties are being made and there is new hope of family and babies and growth and I do not want to be a stranger to these events. I cannot be certain that the sad and sentimental way I feel is bearable.

Once again the burden of blessings has me confused and torn; torn between many choices and opportunities, and longing for a way to have it all. We are drawn to Hawaii, the ocean view and scent of guavas, the gentle pace. We have made a beautiful home here, where we have family and many friends, and the familiarity of a region we have enjoyed for many years. And when I think of my brother and his new wife,

and my Mom living way up north, I feel compelled to find a place on the Central Coast, so that I can maintain the connections to those people that I treasure. It's no use to think of flights and rode trips, because it's just not the same. What longing and sorrow for immigrants and pioneers; leaving their past far behind, setting forth in to the unknown.

My sentimental mood owes everything to a beautiful wedding. The ceremony was thoroughly moving and meaningful.

I watched my brother's eyes brim with tears at the sight of his bride as she came toward him holding her father's hand.

Father Patrick talked about children and love and friendship, and his words were true, sincere and affirming.

The joy was palpable.

The reception was every bit the party and celebration that happy and loving families could hope for.

We danced and

ate well, we toasted love that is born of pure trust and grows to embrace the best of life.

We made new friends

and rediscovered the happiness

and blessings of a marriage of families.

Congratulations to Bill and Alison...may all your plans and dreams be as
successful and lovely as your wedding day!

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