Some days I sit at my computer and I have as much trouble thinking of what to write, as I did ten years ago, when I first began blogging. When I had no idea what a blog was, or why anyone would publish their ideas and pictures, like a coffee table diary, for the world to browse. This line of thinking frequently leads me to the notion that Chickenblog has run its course, that I've said about all there is to say, that in fact there is no call for leaving this personal journal out on the coffee table. Then I make a unique connection with someone out there in the world, I share a laugh, a comforting cry, and I feel like, obscure as I am, strange as this new medium is, it serves some purpose, somehow. William and I were talking about how ten years of deep thoughts and other musings really is a rather significant thing... maybe not for history's sake, but at least for our own. Which is why, I suppose, that even when I cannot think what to write, I still sit here and share something... for our own sake, for our story, for next year, or ten years from now, when we wish to recall the Monday, in May when we were here.
Here, balancing and playing, on our teeter-totter. With our goats. Making things, sharing ideas, facing our challenges, and celebrating whatever success and occasions move us.
The barn gets cuter and cuter, and I promise an update, soon. It's not finished. Two doors need to be hung, and there's still some trimming to do. Other projects are competing with completion of the barn. And even when the barn is done, there will still be the chicken run and goat pen to build. Honestly, none of this disappoints me, or makes me feel anxious. It's really quite amazing to see all the progress that has been made, especially when I think back just two years, to where we started. Those memories do make me anxious... what a frightful mess I made of my poor farm.
I remember, my gardening and farming frustrations, eight years ago, when we were renting in the TreeHouse. We had no place to plant our garden, and no idea when we could hope to have a place of our own. I am still recovering from all the strains and frustrations of being a renter, from the damages, and my own inability to stand up for myself. It was... it was. And maybe the crud makes the blessings we enjoy now extra sweet, but please: let's not say that 'the crud was necessary,' or that 'the hardships are the reason I can be happy now.' I was plenty prepared and willing to be happy, and thankful, without all that crud. No, I remember those days, and just feel tremendous relief, perspective, profound gratitude for these days, here. It feels like a constant prayer: thank you, thank you, thank you.
Deep thoughts, and other musings, on a Monday morning.
7 comments:
Don't stop - never give up sharing your deep thoughts and musings. I would miss them so much.
Axxx
You sent your wishes out into the Universe and your dream of living on a sustainable farm is coming true!
Your blog will never be stale. You and your family are always doing new and exciting things!
You will have to be very careful that you don't walk right into that sky-blue shed! Lookin' good!
Oh, what cute little goats! Last time I visited, you were thinking about getting some. I love the teeter-totter photo!
What you said has resonated with me in terms of sticking with blogging. Some days I just find nothing to say or nothing to post. It is a creative outlet, but who wants to see several weeks' worth of non-creativity? Not I. But then, who is the blog for? I like your thinking. It is a way to capture moments in our lives. For my family. Not for others necessarily.
Just found your blog via Posie Gets Cozy and must say I am enjoying reading your stories! This one has me longing.... wishing we could move to a place with our own outside space. But for now we are stuck in our underwater condo where the "landscapers" weedwack my seedums and spray all kinds of nasty chemicals wihout even a heads up. It's like renting with the financial stress of being a homeowner but none of the benefits we would like. Getting to the point of just walking away and going back to renting, if we can find a lovely house until we can buy again. In the meantime, will admire your space, veggies, goats :)
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