Tuesday, March 03, 2009

I Can Hear You Now

It took every single day of the prescription, and at last my ear feels clear. At last I can hear, either that or I have adjusted to a modicum of deafness... not hearing is very frustrating, and combined with feeling unwell, it made for a very rough couple of weeks.

The first competition is days away and the club is still burning the midnight oil. It's taking a brutal toll. I worry about Alex not getting enough sleep, Geoff too. Geoff more... he left crunch mode at the office and exchanged those slavish hours for long nights mentoring robotics. It's not pretty people. I think about the rest we all deserve, which will come after San Diego, but then I remember that later this month we have Phoenix! NB Alex has been given an assignment for the pit, which is a great honor, since not all 50 members of the team have a chance to participate at competition... it's so gratifying to see his dedication and industry pay off. w00ts!

William, Max, Maria and I mostly hang back and hold down the fort. We make a lot of deliveries and try to keep the flow clear for robotics... we totally merit special recognition as the crew that supports the crew! Maria composes many songs and one of our favorites is her rockin' Iron-Man Robotics ditty.

When we aren't supporting the robotics mission, we are doing homework, chasing chickens, and playing way too much Popcap and other meaningful things. William has been doing amazing things in 3D Studio Max, which I really will share here someday... I need another technical leap in my blogging skills. I also want to learn how to get their stop-motion films exported to this computer, so I can post them to Chickenblog.

Today Maria's dance class has open studio and parents get to watch and dance too. She is going to be so thrilled when she realizes that her daddy will be by her side! Dance is Maria's happy place. She is fulfilled and in her element when she moves and turns and swirls. It's wonderful that she can feel this way and express herself in dance.

Max will want me to wake him soon. He does not like going to school, but he never fails to diligently apply himself and do his best. Last night we read together, after homework, and he reminded me to be sure he gets a good breakfast, because they have state testing today. He likes oatmeal, toast with raspberry preserves and turkey sausage, and he will want to be up early... extra early. It's such a dear sight, makes me a bit sad... he watches the clock with a resigned expression, his books under his arm, his lunch bag over his shoulder, and he makes sure to never be late. He is dutiful, which is good, but he is not exactly inspired, which is why I look forward to summer for him. In summer he will still learn and grow, but hopefully it will be with an eagerness and joy.

Chicken Abroad
Hold on to your hats!
Check your gages!
This ride is getting very interesting...
My Mommy, Delia, the Oregon artist, freshly returned from a month in Ontario, is flying south and then heading east! She and I managed, in very short-last minute time, to coordinate travel plans, so that we will be together, abroad! Really and truly we take the cake for spontaneity... come to think of it, we take cake for about anything... cake is good! I am delighted and giddy and it's all good. She'll have time for robotics competitions and the trip to Spain and France. And now I won't have to take Europe pictures of my face with my arm held out! Traveling together will have many perks!

I try to embrace all of the perks of this grand adventure, but I still have lapses of nameless dread and wide awake time in the wee hours. ( resisting urge to explain the "wee" hours lol... never mind... so immature) My greatest stumbling block is the anxiety I have about being apart from Maria, and even when I breath deeply, and acknowledge that her daddy and brothers are more than capable of caring for her, I still am overcome with fear and worry and emotional distress about not being by her side when she misses me... when I miss her. When deciding about making this trip I thought about all 42 problems, issues, concerns, considerations and factors, including being away from my children. Resolving many of the issues and details, misled me into feeling as though I covered all the bases, but now I realize that I was never fully prepared to deal with this sadness.

The boys can count days and appreciate that I will return. They have the ability to keep my absence in perspective and this knowledge eases my worry about missing them and them missing me. But Maria and I have never been apart, and I know exactly how much she misses Geoff during crunch mode, so thinking of this makes my heart ache. Rational thoughts do little to nothing to comfort my soul, or quiet my mind. However much fun this trip will be, however great an opportunity, I cannot wait to come home.


Anna Banana said...

Natalie and Delia abroad. Woots! Can you and Maria make a photo book of you counting down numbers of days until you're home? TTYL

Tami @ Lemon Tree Tales said...

Congratulations on your upcoming scouting trip! What a great way to figure out what your family would like to do. You'll have a lot of fun!

Hey, it looks like March 10-13 of this year they're hosting the International Symposium on Robotics in Barcelona. Cool, huh? And there's an exhibit on modern animation in Barcelona until May 14th.

Enjoy it!