Monday, January 28, 2008

Everyday Life 30 :: 22

They say we had record rainfall, but I'm not so sure. Usually a lot of rainfall brings our pond in through the backdoor and into the kitchen. This is low tide. There was certainly plenty of wind. Yesterday it was blowing north and clashing mightily with the cold front that came from the Pacific Northwest.

Here is Joe. He didn't seem to mind our weather. Being a 7 year old bunny he's seen many good storms.

Maybe the sun will come out and we can watch Joe hop on the lawn for a while.

In the meantime, I have some everyday kinds of errands to run, like getting groceries and sending a package to Grandma Nancy. We have school work to do, and schedules to fine tune.

A thought: Do you find that conversations with women with children are disjointed and full of great lapses, long pauses, incomplete statements... that basically conversations can go unfinished for days, even months at a time? I think many moms recognize this, know that having children means having distractions and interruptions. I don't blame children or implicate them in a conspiracy of selfish or rude behavior. I am only observing that attentive mothers, busy women that are responsible for children do not often have the luxury of completing sentences, expounding on theories or providing elaborate feedback... not every time. Happily, between sympathetic women, there is an understanding that this is true, and we can actually manage very well weaving in and out of conversations, answering pressing queries 2 weeks after they were posed. It's our gift. We multi-task. We have patience. We know our deep thoughts and other musings will surface eventually, and will be understood and well received by other distracted, responsible, caring women.

What I wonder is: How well does this translate in emails and through blogs? I do not answer every email or respond directly to each comment. Do readers know that I read every comment? That I am listening and thinking appreciatively about the generous and thoughtful remarks and feedback they send to my inbox and to Chickenblog? I feel as though I have a dozen or more half finished conversations hanging in the air everyday, and there are a lot interesting points brought to my attention that I may not find time to appreciate for weeks or months. I cringe each and every time it dawns on me that I have neglected to get back to that conversation we were having last month, or to reply about the *whatever* you asked me about. You cannot see that Maria jumped in my lap, when I was reading your wonderful post about *____* and I really did mean to leave a comment congratulating, consoling, sympathizing, cheering, commiserating, or LOL-ing.

I so admire the bloggers that in one way or another respond to all of their readers. It's very impressive to find responses to my comments and wonderful to receive nice, newsy emails from friends, and if I haven't got back to you, I am sorry. Really. If I were as good as my thoughts, you would all have fruit baskets and hand written letters from me on a quarterly basis. Instead just picture me trying to keep my head above water, thinking of ways to feed 4 children, working to lose weight, clearing the kitchen drain, teaching algebra and grammar, answering the phone, sorting mail, driving here and there, making appointments, keeping appointments, intervening, interjecting, objecting, making peace, whirling peas and kissing boo-boos. That is Everyday Life. LOL


nikkipolani said...

Hello Sweetie, I don't have children and can't fully appreciate the juggling act moms go through. But I do have two kittens and my "discretionary" time has suddenly been reduced by 47%.... Whatever "gap" you may feel, you sound amazingly coherent and sane :-)

Natalie said...

LOL... you totally have children Kitty Momma! And I love those babies of yours. It's such a pleasure to see their furry faces and to know they are bringing you so much joy and amusement.
Thank you for finding me "coherent and sane..." I will refer any of my critics to you and your sound judgment!

village mama said...

If I was grading this beautiful essay on the 'interruptions' you'd get a humongous A+, with a gold star or two. This is such insightful writing Natalie.

Anna Banana said...

Before G and I drifted apart (once again), she asked me (I hope sincerely and not judgementally) if I knew why the IQs of really smart women seem to plummet after they have kids. G does not have kids. I had a pre-schooler and a bun in the oven at the time and I gave just about the same answer you did. Except I think I was interrupted while I was giving it. Congrats for writing so many wonderful posts, somehow you are making yourself very clear!

Natalie said...

Thank you Village Mama... *blush.*
Anna Banana, G may have missed the point that our IQs are not diminished; they are temporarily distributed in multiple directions. We think for ourselves as well as our children and we fill a few gaps for our spouses as well. The real question is: "Why has our society devalued the worth of the mothers, and fathers, and the intelligence of their sacrifice, dedication and devotion?" Uh... I'd say more, but someone wants me to help her... lol

Laura Jane said...

Multi-tasking is the natural behaviour of the postnatal female Natalie.

Remember - we blog because we think, ergo we ARE multi-tasking!

Women are excellent jugglers (of their own and other family members stuff)-as long as we get a chance to put the items down once in a while. Its really quite amazing how well a woman can juggle with a multi-tasked IQ in all directions.

Juggling fatigue is not pretty, especially when metaphorical chainsaws are involved! Take it from me :)

Gorgeous, gorgeous bunny. Yukky looking puddle.

Great juggling Nat - 6+ balls at once! Advanced stuff!

Tarie said...

Huhuhu. I think I understand what you feel. For example: I love reading your blog and I get sad when I get so busy with work that I don't have time to read your posts. :( Wah, I truly feel bad about missing so many posts. I know that I miss a lot. :(

P.S. Joe the bunny is so cute!

Jennifer said...

I do think we all know, and I think we all live in our own versions of the same boat! Messages we'd like to send, conversations we'd like to elaborate upon and draw out, packages we'd like to send, ideas we'd like to share.... it's all out there, and we feel our connections and we feed them when we can and we simply understand. It's what makes this online experience uplifting instead of burdensome. And it's how we moms support each other -- simply by understanding.

Laura Jane said...

Hear hear Jen.

We understand that this is a common lot, and to have a few minutes at a keyboard allows us to connect SO much better than an unconnected life feeling guilty about being time poor and not getting to the post-office or whatever.

Its all good, and more power to this new medium of blogging, so women like us (and those to come after us) aren't so isolated

Mama Spark said...

Oh Natalie, enjoy this whirlwind time in your life. I am coming through the whirlwind on the other side and I "miss" it! There will be time for those other things once you reach the other side. I have time for many of the things you talked about and I would trade it all to be back in the center of the craziness. children grow up, sometimes move away and this special, crazy, amazing time will not be back. Enjoy, my dear, enjoy the process the "other side" comes way too soon! You do amazingly well with all you write and are an inspiration to those of us that read Chicken Blog!!