Friday, March 29, 2019

Up To Date

"Up to date" might be overstating it, but Geoff installed a new hard drive on our computer, and dusted stuff off, updated software, kicked tires etc... and now everything is working at a lightning pace. I would stick around and blog all day, except I am due at art class. I leave you with Cairo, proudly inspecting and improving the latest acquisition. This furniture piece represents my unceasing determination to find order and refinement in our home. It is a humble, and unique entry catch-all... for keys, phones, wallets, mail, gears, paint, yarn, flashlights, cats.
Thank you, and good day.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Other Plans


Things are not working... but then again, some things are working. It's just frustrating to make plans and set goals, and then be derailed by leaking pipes, janky computers, temperamental hard drives, and PTSD. My physical therapist is booked this week, and I am not seeing my emotional/brains therapist until next week. Our kitchen sink is leaking, and the hen that I thought had made a happy recovery suddenly died. Rest in peace, Fiona. I could share more, but I think it would be best if I simply made other plans. And, I would like to add... the time and inclination, the support and opportunity to make other plans is golden, a blessing, a tremendous wealth of good fortune. So, there it is... I am thankful to have the space and time to see that today I need to make new plans. I may go look at birds, a happy suggestion from my sweetheart.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Wabi-Sabi, Goats and Chickens

January 16~

Wabi-sabi... imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete is the perfect description of my state of being, and blogging. It's all uncertainty, and missteps, wariness, and a timidity about most everything. But I am so fixed and determined on recovery, on reclaiming activities, making plans, feeling confident, overcoming.

I decided to begin simply, and without too much concern about what's left unsaid. I am frequently comparing myself with how I used to do things, or what I imagine I would have been doing, if... but that's only building up a wall, an obstacle that keeps me from trying anything. Maybe I have a new normal, maybe I will find my way back to before, but even as I type that, I can see that we never really do go back to before. It's March, a new year, and life is wabi-sabi.

So, here are some goats and chickens.


Tasha Tudor Goat and Ada Lovelace Goat, and they are both nearly 7 years old.



January 24~

Mako, my darling girl. She still lays eggs, though she is nearly 6 years old.

February 2~



We have a lot of rain this winter. A lot. It's made the garden lush and happy, it's made me cozy and happy. It's made the goats dismayed and forlorn. I've done a lot to address their concerns, like giving them extra treats, laying down dry bedding, and finding breaks in the weather to let them run loose.

February 5~

February 9~
Here is Emma Thompson leaving the nest, and Pepper, in line to lay her egg.

Right after the new year, the hens started laying again. I was surprised. I am still surprised. They were looking beleaguered and bedraggled in the fall, and I worried about how they would fare through the winter after such a messy molt. They are not young hens, and I assumed these would be their retirement days. Happily, the hens are plucky as ever. Neither their age, nor the weather has slowed them down.


Pretty Koa.

February 12~

Fiona, our buff orpington, went through a brief rough patch of her own, and I was concerned. She was unwell, and hardly ate. Now, she's back to her old self, and I am glad we will have our cheery, golden girl with us a while longer.


Pippi looks so elegant and spry, when Alex saw her picture, he asked, "Is this one of our chickens?"




Definitely, one of our goats! I love when I can capture these hilarious expressions.

February 17~

Hello, Liberty. She is just the same as when we named her. She is quiet and calm, and satisfied to go off on her own path, no bother to anyone.

Pepper and Pippi, or perhaps Pippi and Pepper. I tell the two silver-laced Wyandotte hens apart by their toes.

February 25~

Geoff is in San Francisco this week, so my technical hiccups with uploading photos will have to wait. I have tried to fix the problem, and as usually happens, I only succeed in stumbling upon more problems.

Max is taking his last final of winter quarter, and I will be bringing him home soon. Maria is ready to stay after school and participate in the Elective Fair for incoming students. She wore her Paradox uniform. Guess what... they earned a place at Championships! Yes, there's a lot we haven't kept up on, good things still to share. Alex is at work... he and Bambi are saving and preparing for their trip to Japan, later this spring. William has been 3d printing, and researching something he and Geoff are looking into... some other kind of 3d printer, a prospect that makes both of them light up.

The garden is wild. And the bees and butterflies, bunnies and birds, thank us. Maria, Alex, and I are devising plans to bring in more native plants, and that's something that makes me happy, too.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

The End of My rise to Mediocrity

Last year... because I can't get my photos to work...
The letter between O and Q on my keyboard died, and so did the "return" key. My computer hasn't backed ub in 17 days, and iBhoto isn't responding... whoa... the letter will abbear if spellcheck detects the error. I am subpoenaed again, but this time to testify for the Department of Motor Vehicles against the drunk lady. So, this makes 2 hearings. And yes, this is a whining, miserable, I have a head cold, and I cannot do what I love since the accident comblaint post. Only my own moral compass keeps me from posting her name, and wishing rain on her barade. I was drobbed from yoga, before I could quit... I missed the first day because 1. I needed to be somewhere else at the same time 2. I have nothing to wear that is yoga abbrobriate 3. I was overcome with discomfort and anxiety 4. my body hurts in vague and general ways that makes me uncomfortable, untrusting. I did make it to the first day of the new art class... the colon key is broken, too... Oil Painting. And I was nervously habby, and it should have been all good, but then my body began aching and the telltale accident bains returned, and I at one point I slipped away to cry, because I feel so sad and angry and frustrated, and embarrassed. It's silly to be embarrassed, but I am. It's wrong to say "silly." My brain is still off... just slightly enough out of sorts to be distressing. I have all but quit trying to write, actually... between my brain and aches I feel, it's too hard, and besides blogging is dead... so is the forward slash, so no more html. Well. This is all very distressing, disaobbointing, silly, embarrassing, and inevitably bointless.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Last Year...

Christmas morning, 2018

Now it's almost the end of January, nearly a month into this new year, and I am not quite so disappointed that this Christmas morning picture is out of focus. I'm just glad to have it... to have the happy memories it recalls. We did celebrate Christmas, and it was a blur of joy and overabundance.









On Boxing day we picked up from where we left on from Winter Solstice, and share dinner and a campfire with more friends. And I am pretty sure this about the time that we started making our plans for next year, which basically entails more nights sharing dinner and campfires with friends.

I miss friends. And I miss feeling stronger, more capable... I won't lay all of the blame on the accident, because I know I struggle to be on top of things in the best of times, but I really feel my inadequacies these days. Frankly, if you saw how hard I struggled just to spell "inadequacies," you would cut me some slack. I am not really interested in excuses... I want to be a better friend.













I am lucky. And thankful. Looking through these pictures, I feel it all over again... the certainty that seeing the people I love, even the ones that I unfortunately did not get a picture of, is the best of any day. Whether celebrating a birthday, or just figuring out a new robot together... that company, laughter, support, and energy exchange is priceless.

Is my New Year resolution taking shape?

More time with friends.



The last day of 2018, and this year we went out! Unheard of! Alex's work party... (which, honestly, we did not crash) was at Robin and Sean's, and we were all invited. Besides being Alex's bosses, they're dear friends, which is why we imposed and stayed very late, and ate all of the tacos, and dished out the second round of churros and ice-cream. It was a very good party.

This is a plug for Salud Tacos, because their tacos, cooked on site, were insanely good. Genuinely deliciosos!! This is not a paid endorsement. Maybe I was especially vulnerable... going through the holidays, wishing for family traditions and familia, nostalgia, cultura, a bowl of posole, a piñata, missing my Grandma, all of the intangible bits that give the season sabor, and Salud swooped in in their taco van, and shut me up!

When I went back for my second plate they apologized for making me wait a moment... they were preparing dessert, "churros and ice-cream." And I thought eh, ice cream. And churros? I'll take tacos over churros, muchas gracias.


I accepted my dessert, to be polite, you know. And then I embarrassed myself with gushing and running my fingertip all around the rim. I went back to the catering station and begged, Begged for the secret formula. I won't divulge all of what they shared in confidence, but my Tajín crush just redoubled.


For the latter half of the month I carried around those wool felt balls I repurposed from Trader Joes. It was my gift and comfort to share crafting and creating with them, and Robin really raised the bar in creativity! She brought out her beads, and I acted as her assistant. Do you know what makes a lovely NYE... friends, light, laughter, tacos, Tajín, craft, games, and puzzles. We were cozy, content, and together.




Before the year ended, we hugged our hosts and thanked them. We were back home in time for Bambi to fix us all toshikoshi soba and veggies, for a happy year-passing. And that was all last year.